When I was a lot younger, I thought about my 40th birthday as so far in the future and potentially scary. I didn’t know how I would feel. I didn’t know if I’d still be healthy. I didn’t know if I would be happy. Also, what the hell middle aged?!
Today is my birthday. I’m turning 40.
I feel pretty good.
I am so happy to be on the planet. And weirdly thrilled to be turning 40 because between you and I, I wasn’t sure I’d ever get here and still feel like me. I had hopes of getting to this point, but I wasn’t ever sure. Diabetes is tricky. And I’ve had it for a long time. But I made it this far, this long, and I feel honestly better than I ever thought possible when I pictured the maybe of being 40 years old.
I credit the diabetes community for being a huge part of what held my emotional health together these last 14 years in particular. Writing here has been cathartic. It’s been a place where I can release these thoughts, all this diabetes stuff that I didn’t realize weighed so heavily on me until I let it fly. For the last 14 years, writing here made me feel better.
SixUntilMe launched back in May of 2005 because I felt alone. I wasn’t dealing with diabetes distress or burnout or even a particularly crappy batch of blood sugars. I simply felt alone. I didn’t know anyone else who had diabetes and sometimes I just wanted someone who understood how frustrating it could be to be low just before bed but somehow always after you just brushed your teeth. Or how a really stubborn high can make you feel like a garbage can. Or how when you think about your future, it can be clouded with fear or uncertainty for a dozen different reasons, with diabetes always ranking as one of them.
Then, all of a sudden, all this hope grew from everywhere. From the comments people left on blog posts. From the connections between PWD on Twitter. From Facebook friends becoming real life friends. From photos and “likes” evolving into people having coffee and laughing and not even remembering that diabetes brought us together in the first place.
From “oh, that’s my friend from the blog,” to “they’re like family to me.”
Finding my community made me feel whole. I’ll be forever connected to and grateful for everyone in it.
But I’m ready for something different. This coming May 4, on the 14th birthday of my site, I’ll update here for the last time. I want to move on and tell my story in a different way.
I don’t have plans to disappear from the space entirely; that cure they promised decades ago seems lost in the mail, and community support matters so much to me. I’ll still enjoy writing in other places, and I’m excited to expand my voice into non-diabetes related adventures. I absolutely still hope to connect with folks through conferences and speaking engagements. I will keep the majority of the content available in some form, for others to find, as I’m proud of what I’ve shared here. But I’ve written and rewritten this post in my head for the better part of two years, so I know this is the right decision.
I love this community with my whole heart (and what’s left of my pancreas).
More soon.
xo
Happy birthday Kerri! Thanks for being a great source of information, perspective, and humor with your writing on here. I have really enjoyed checking in on Six Until Me on a regular basis! Have a great day celebrating you!!!
Happy Birthday! I so enjoy the way you write. I was diagnosed 5 years ago at the ripe old age of 52 – go figure. Talk about feeling lost! Reading Balancing Diabetes, sixuntilme.com and then finding Diabetes Training Camp has helped me learn I am not alone. My family has diabetic family has grown so much and I don’t know what I would do without my fellow T1D or “Peeps with Beeps”. I hate to see your blog go but I hope that someday I will get to hear you speak. Thanxs so much for sharing your life and experience.
Happy Birthday, Keri…and a heartfelt wish for many, many more. I’ve been reading your blog for a long time but I certainly understand the desire to move in different directions..it’s what keeps us fresh. Wishing you the very best and thanking you for all the virtual support. D.
Happy birthday and thank you for all that you’ve done (and will continue to do) for our community. May 4th happens to be my diaversary, coming up on 23 years T1D.
Crying. You mean the world to us, Kerri. Thank you for all the heart, stress, and time you have devoted to making SUM such a special resource (and friend) to so many of us. I will forever be grateful for finding you and your words. You’re a bright light in the darkness of this disease. Can’t wait for your next chapter!
Bananarama 4eva. Thanks for everything. -abbytheperson
Happiest of birthdays my friend. And congratulations on new challenges to come. I’m so proud of you and all you’ve done for the patient community (diabetes and beyond).
I was diagnosed December 1, 2004, and it was soon after that, I somehow found your blog. Your wit, humor, grace, honesty, and sharing of your experiences have made me not feel so alone in my diabetes world. I have read your blog for years, and have loved seeing you stick it to diabetes by growing and having a beautiful family, and living unapologetically. I am so glad I have had the opportunity to meet you and laugh with you in person!
All my best wishes to you!
Happy birthday! Your blog was the very first one I found when I Googled type 1 when my then 3 year old was diagnosed in 2011. I wish you nothing but the best in your new endeavors, but please know you were, and still have been, an amazing support for those of us that can’t truly understand what it’s like to live with type 1. Your knowledge and humor have been a gift, thank you.
Happy Birthday . Thank you for everything. Your blog and your book have helped me in so many ways. They have been a real blessing. Good luck with everything.
Happy Birthday!! #
Hey, my cat emojis didn’t come through. Booooo #meowmeowmeow
Happy Birthday Kerri! Happy future! I wish you joy and the priceless gift of experiencing life through the eyes of your growing children. And here’s to a future with an Artificial Pancreas!
Happy birthday! May all the comfort and encouragement that you have provided to others through this site come back to you. It is mostly because of your site that I got the courage to go on a pump (and later a CGM). I totally understand your decision, but you will be missed.
Happy Birthday!
You are the best!
Likewise. Happy Birthday. We should talk, even though everyone likely says that to you.
I’m simultaneously dreading and looking forward to May 4. The former for me, the latter for you.
I found this site right after diagnosis in 2006, and I have loved what you have shared. Happy birthday Kerri, and good luck in the future!
Happy Birthday. And I can’t wait for the next step, whatever it may be 🙂
Happy birthday Kerri!
Thank you for your continued efforts for diabetes advocacy and putting into words what it feels like to live with diabetes.
I’m sure countless others will tell you how much your blog has helped them. I will also say that reading sixuntilme helped me in more ways than I can even recall. As I was transitioning from childhood into adulthood I was looking for someone, somewhere that actually did it and was successful. That’s when I found your blog, when I just started college. I read every post while I should have been studying and I remember feeling more empowered each time I finished a post and wanting to read just one more.
You inspired me to work on my own life and health with diabetes. Way after college and marriage, my husband and I decided to start trying to have a baby. This was something that I dreamed about for many years but I wasn’t sure it was possible. I was scared and unsure and your blog was there to help me and understand some things to expect with a diabetic pregnancy.
Then we ran into infertility issues for a few years. I lost hope, but your blog was there to give that hope back to me and help me through that difficult time.
I had been preparing for years to become a mother, adult, successful person who happens to live with diabetes. And I can credit some confidence gained from sixuntilme to help me get to where I am.
I find it very fitting that on May 4th, the birthday of the blog and the last posting, I will be welcoming my first daughter into the world.
So without going into too much more I just want to say Thank you Kerri one more time!
Oh my goodness, this comment made me cry. CONGRATULATIONS on your pregnancy and the upcoming birth of your beautiful baby. <3
Thank you Kerri!
I also want to wish you luck in anything you do in the future. You deserve all the success. 🙂
thanks for being such a huge part of my d-education & making me feel things would be OK.
Love your blog, good luck with the new endeavors. May the 4th be with you!
A huge Happy Birthday Kerri! Thank you so much for your wonderful blogs and for giving so much to the diabetes online community. Yours was the first blog of any kind I followed and I used to wait each day for your post and it really helped me at a time when I truly needed help. Good luck with your future ventures and very best wishes to you and you family
Happy bday Kerri. Ur an inspiration to so many kids and parents. Please keep writing in any form!
Thank you, Kerri, for all your incredible contributions for the past 14 years! Your blog will be missed. Perhaps one of your posts in the next three months could be recommendations of websites where your readers (particularly those not on social media, like me!) can get the most critical updates about Type 1 diabetes news. Your website has been a critical source for me over 10 years–your posts are what alerted me to new Dexcoms and new pump releases. For those of us who do not actively follow other bloggers on the DOC on instagram or facebook, can you offer a suggestion (or a few) of websites that announce new releases of pumps/CGMs and results of trials/studies like you’ve done for your readers over the years?
Thanks for considering and wishing you all the best for your future endeavors!
Kerri, the number of Type 1 Diabetics in this world often times seems small. Add being a middle-aged woman and wanting to start a family on top of that, it’s lonely and daunting. You have been there for me by sharing your experiences in ways my family and friends couldn’t be. Because you get it. And your honesty and candor, it’s inspiring.
When I wanted/needed to switch to an insulin pump 4 months pregnant, you helped me! How could a stranger be so nice? I had a happy (err mostly), healthy baby a few months later and it’s been the biggest blessing.
You’re not a stranger, you’re a leader and a warrior. Thank you for proving hope and guidance where there often is so little of that. You are extremely talented- I look forward to cheering you on, with whatever path you choose!
Thank you thank you thank you
Kerri
I am the geek who met you in the bar at ADA Orlando and was so star struck. I don’t have Type 1. I tell every educator and doctor that doesn’t have Type 1 to follow your blog so they can have a better understanding of all that you and others cope with on a daily basis. I tell all those I meet who have Type 1 to follow you to connect with someone who is so real and so inspiring. I will miss reading your blogs ever so much. Good luck in all that you do. I hope to meet you in a bar or elsewhere again in the near future. Best Gillian
I am so rude. So caught up with the announcement I forgot to say Happy Birthday and best wishes for so many more. Gillian
Happiest of birthdays!! I guess I just missed you at McCarran last week!
Don’t comment often but I’ve been A grateful reader for so long! I have really enjoyed Reading your journey and connecting with others in diabetes Internet space. Happy birthday Kerri!
First of all, a very happy birthday to you! Second of all, best wishes in whatever you decide to take on next, as I know you’ll continue to be a rock star in whatever you do! Third of all, I just wanted to thank you for being a comedic, yet serious, voice for all of us T1D’s, as yours was the first one I found many, many years ago when looking for DOC support back in the day. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you!
Thank you for sharing all the diabetes parts of yourself (and more) in this blog. I found your writing 7 or 8 years ago when I was in a very down place about my health and future. Your blog helped me feel validated and understood. Your blog inspired me to pursue a CGM And to take control of my health as I was preparing to get pregnant and start my family. It eased my pregnant mind to share in the stories of your pregnancies. Thank you so much for sharing and for inspiring. Your posts will be missed!
Wow! So sad to see you go! My life has been so enriched by your empathetic writing over the years. I felt like someone really understood me and my life for the first time when I read your blog. Thank you immensely for all you have done for all of us! Happy birthday!!! (I felt the way you described when I turned 50, now I’m two years from turning 60-44 years with type1. )
I’m so glad I got to meet you in San Diego. You are one of my heroes! I wish you all the happiness and joy you can imagine in your future life! (May it be long and healthy!)
Happy birthday!! I’ve enjoyed your blog posts. With T1d I can relate to everything. All the best to you!!
Wow 40 Happy B-day! well I’ll miss hearing about your kids and hubbie—and of course about all things Type 1! Stay active–looking forward to the future Kerri writing! Hope to see you at a TCOYD conference again soon!
I suck with words, like for real. But I have all the feels right now, all of them!
Hi Kerri , thank you from the bottom of my heart for expressing what I am feeling living with diabetes. You always hit the nail on the head. It just so happens this is the only blog about Diabetes I read. And I do recommend it to everybody. Somethings just click like the way you write, it just clicks with me thank you! Take care, and have a very Happy Birthday!!
Sheryl and I send our Birthday greetings. I recall when I was 40, ahh maybe. I mean sort of. Ok, I dont really recall. But I am sure it was great and yours will be as well. Be true to yourself first.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! and best wishes for your new endeavors.
Happy Birthday Kerri,
I was diagnosed Tyoe 1 43 years ago and have to say I felt alone for many years. Growing up, the only diabetics I knew were Type2 , older, who had complications. Scary for a 12 year old! . Support groups were lacking, and of course there was no internet back then. (Boy I feel old saying that lol)
Thankfully, later in life I stubbed upon your blog, and was hooked. Many of your posts I could have written (not literally) but based on your feelings, struggles, and all the ups and downs of living with diabetes. You helped me emotionally through the years with your candid posts and you
have impacted the diabetic community in more ways than you’ll ever know, so thank you.
Best Wishes on your next endeavor. I’m sure you will be awesome!
Happy Birthday Kerri, I remember where I was in 2005 when I read your blogspot.
Happy birthday! I thank you for all you have written and all you have shared. You have normalized the everyday experiences this diabetic community shares, and that is priceless. It makes us feel less alone. You highlighted the good, the bad, and the ugly, without mincing any words! So relatable!! I wish you the best in your future endeavors, and I would love to continue reading and sharing with you in your writings.
Happy Birthday Kerri! I’ve enjoyed all that you’ve shared about your life and your growing family. I wish you well on your new adventures and hope that your future is filled with good health and much happiness.
Happy birthday, Kerri, and thank you so much for your candid and real comments over the past many years! My daughter is now almost 11, diagnosed at age 10 months, and I remember finding your blog and feeling so relieved knowing that my daughter could have a successful career, a family and happiness! You are so inspirational and have been a breath of fresh air and just real – in times when I too still feel alone co-managing T1 in an infant, toddler and now tween. Thank you again – and I cannot wait to see what’s in store for you! Many blessings! Carrie
So sorry you are leaving but a wonderful time to start a new adventure! Happy birthday Kerri!! Thank you for sharing so much.
Oh, gee.
Happiest of Birthdays to you!
Like everyone else has stated, thank you for helping so many of us know that we can live with diabetes.
Colleen in NH/VA.
Happy Belated Kerri! This is indeed a milestone. Your ‘voice’ is a treasure, and I look forward to seeing where it takes you on your new adventures. I congratulate you on making this decision; I imagine it was not an easy one to make. The age of 40 loomed, when I approached it, from the depths of my memories from when I was diagnosed at the age of 9. Back then, I had overheard I would be lucky to make it to that age. I have far surpassed that age now, and every day feel fortunate to still be kicking it around. Your blog has helped me realize I am not alone. Thank you.
Happy Belated Birthday, Kerri! I’ve been reading your posts almost every day since my perfect three year old little girl was diagnosed out of the blue over Valentine’s Day weekend in 2011. I didn’t have a lot of experience with diabetes, and I wanted to know what she was feeling and what she might need to know down the road to manage this all on her own someday. More than anything I just wanted to know that she was going to be OK. Reading your site helped show the way and made me a better dad.
Please keep writing – your readers will find you. I look forward to hearing what’s next.
Happy Birthday! 40 is such a wonderful age! Thank you for being my light in the dark in October 2006 when my then 7 yr daughter was diagnosed. Your blog guided us through those rocky first years and in to teenage. We referred to you so much you were like family. Watching you achieve your dreams, career, husband and your children have been a sign of hope for our family that Diabetes is indeed just a bump in the road. My 7 yr old is now 20 and living in an apartment 300 miles away going to college. We are thriving together because of early lessons we learned along the way. Diabetes does not define her. In the neantime I am reminded of you daily and forever grateful, as she insisted we name our Goldendoodle-Kerri
Blessing on your future endeavors. We look forward to hearing all about them.
And I forgot to mention I send Your blog to many many non-diabetic friends.
Happy Birthday Kerri!
Maybe now you’ll have time to learn to drive a stick! Ha!
Good luck with the new adventures!
Many, many happy returns Kerri!
I turned 60 last November and hadn’t thought I’d make it that far either. I’ve been T1D for 50 years and my mother, an MD, never thought I’d live to see 30. I resonate with your birthday musings and really enjoy your writing. Until I came upon you about 3 years ago (late to the game), I had no idea that the online community existed – what a discovery!
I’m happy and healthy and like you, feel pretty good. And now, not alone.
Please let us know where to find you in the next chapter. Whatever it will be, we know it will be terrific!
Thank you so very much for all of this. I have learned so much and yes, you are my friend from the blog. Thanks again.
Happy Birthday Kerri !
Thank you for all of your great work over the last 14 years for PWD. Your future is bright and not doubt you will make a positive impact in whatever you decide to do. Change is good and very exciting ! Wishing you all the best ! You truly deserve all the health and happiness you have earned ! Best wishes for your wonderful future !
Hey Kerri, happy birthday
I just wanted to say thanks for being willing to share so many of the highs and lows that are part of the diabetes journey.
So many times I have been feeling alone in my own diabetic journey and reading your blog is wonderful therapy as there is someone out there.. even if it is on the other side of the world- that is going through the same thing! Good luck with your next adventure, I will miss you xx
Oh my goodness … Happy Birthday to a dear friend and a beacon of flustered silliness who’s never been afraid to say anything, including this. It’s certainly fitting that you’ll be here until May 4th, though I can’t wait to see where you go on your next adventures. Many deep thanks from one of the little dreamers who tries to read everything you have to say. Hope to see you soon, Kerri; bon voyage!
I am 100% getting a tattoo that says “beacon of flustered silliness.” <3
I’ve been away for the last week and haven’t had cell service. This was the first thing I checked when I got back to the US. I will miss you dearly. Your ability to put feelings into words is simply incredible. Wishing you nothing but the best, and a wonderful birthday.
[…] for people who read Friday’s post and thought this blog was immediately archived, it’s still live and will be updated until May 4th. Check back when you feel like it for new […]
Happy Birthday! Thank you for touching our souls with every post! Cheers to you and what your future holds.
Your blog has meant so much to me. But moving on is not a bad thing, either. I hope you keep writing in whatever format feels right for you. You truly have a gift. And HBD!! I left town when I turned 40. It didn’t work. And now I’m 52. And no, we didn’t necessarily think we’d make it this long, or have children, did we? Every day is a gift, blah, blah, blah. Hard to remember that when you’re in the s***. Keep up the good fight, wherever it may lead you!
Happy (belated) Birthday, Kerri!
But how can there be 303 likes to your post? It’s devastating! Do you realize that you have been part of my life for something like 12 (so many) years now? You put my feelings in words, when I didn’t even know what my feelings were. You went ahead and got two children and I’m still waiting to get pregnant and go back to your posts to reread them, because they are resourceful as well as voicing all the tumbling thoughts that are or will be in my head.
You have been here for such a long time, it feels like half a lifetime. Won’t you stay a little longer? Maybe just another 7 years? By then it really will be half my livetime and I’ll probably have my own kids. 😉
You truly are a valued part of my life and you will be missed!
Thanks for sharing so much of yourself with us, Kerri. You’ve changed the world in so many ways and we’re ever grateful! You’re amazing and will kick ass at whatever comes next. Thanks for being such a great friend through it all. Much love and hugs to you and the whole fam! Looking forward to seeing you soon.
Simply…..Thank you and Happy Birthday