It’s like a patch of horrible road rash that you don’t bandage and instead throw the itchiest wool sweater over, then roll around in pine needles.  All day long.  Every time you blink.

This pretty much sums up what recurring corneal erosion feels like.

Friday night, I felt the twitchy, horribly familiar symptoms associated with an eye tear – the redness, the slight swelling, a little bit of blurry vision – but I assumed that a good night’s sleep and some eye lubricant would do the trick.

It did not do any trick.  Saturday morning, my right eyeball was a disaster, almost as badly injured as the first time it happened (six years ago).  It was swollen, razor-bladey, and super sensitive to light, very similar to what happened in San Diego several years ago.  Plans to bring Birdzone to a birthday party?  Delegated.  Plans to attend the Writer’s Guild awards in NYC on Sunday night?  Nope.  (Good thing I hadn’t taken the tags off my dress yet.)  Hopes of spending time away from the two kiddos and having fun?  Or reading a book?  Or even thinking about opening my computer and looking at emails?

Up in a puff of a cat turning into smoke.

… didn’t see that gif coming, did you?  Me neither.  But thar she smokes.

Because I was only 80% sure that it was a corneal tear and not an eyelash jammed up in there (the eye swelling was pretty tremendous, making me think there could be a foreign body stuck in there) and also because it was a Saturday morning and not a single eye doctor’s office was open in our area, I ended up at the local walk in clinic.  They confirmed my eyeball only contained eyeball and recommended I spend as much time healing as I could.

What best heals a corneal erosion is time with your eyelids SHUT.  Which translates into spending 48 hours straight in bed with the blinds drawn and a bunch of cold compresses and eye goop at the ready.  Which also translates into the kids going to my mom’s for the weekend and me asking Chris to go to the event in NYC so I could hole up and sleep without experiencing any mom guilt.  But with the house empty, I was able to rest and heal, despite blood sugars that went bananas in response to the pain (hello, 200% basal rate for two days).

It wasn’t until Tuesday morning (thanks, holiday weekend) that I was able to get to a proper ophthalmologist, who took a look at my eyeball and deemed it “incredibly swollen.”  He prescribed (in addition to follow up visits) some steroid drops for my eye that took effect within hours and by Tuesday night, I was able to properly see for the first time in three days.

I was eye-lated.  Eye’ll never take my ability to open my eyes without pain for granted again.  I hope I didn’t lash out at my loved ones when I was in pain and that they’re tolerant of my terrible vitreous humor.

Eye jokes are the worst.  But eye-related animated gifs are the best.

Iris my case.