This is another bullet-listed brain purge because otherwise all the thoughts in my head would remain tangled around one another.  This is the only out they have.

  • Spellcheck put one of those wiggly red lines underneath the word “bulleted,” which means it’s not a word.  (It also put one under “spellcheck.  Isn’t it one word, when talking about the program?)  Sorry for trying to make it happen.
  • Lots of diabetes-stuff going on, from fascinating articles about the ridiculous and rising cost of insulin to racial disparities in treating type 1 diabetes. I came across an article this morning that outlined the years of life lost (or YLL, if you want to use a troubling acronym) for people with type 1 diabetes.  Turns out I don’t meet my untimely end as quickly as one projected; I’ve scored a year and a half more time!
  • (Pours wine, despite it being 10.30 in the morning.)
  • (The above bullet point is not true.  I am not drinking wine in the morning.  Coffee and GF french toast, though, is absolutely happening.)
  • I find the idea of YLL unsettling.  I keep picturing a jar of marbles with a few that spill out a hole cut in the back of the jar, the years lost to diabetes.  But the optimist in me (always wearing a fascinator, for some reason) seeks a cork to shove in that hole, to keep the marbles from spilling out.
  • And then I take a mental spin through the things I do to keep diabetes in check, notably checking my blood sugar, exercising, and taking my insulin.  Is this enough to stop the escape of those years?  Do I have a chance at a normal lifespan if I work hard enough?  Or is it a combination of statistics and odds and efforts and genes and luck?
  • (Puts the GF french toast under some foil and opts for hard-boiled eggs and a banana instead.  Keeping the coffee, though. #YLGained?  Or just #foodguilt?)
  • Or just ARGHHHHHH forget it – diabetes doesn’t get to dictate.  I’m alive.  Fuck the stats.  Fuck the studies.

  • Diabetes, thankfully, is not being terribly obnoxious these days.  I’m not sure why.  I credit the slightly-warmer winter and checking my blood sugar all the livelong day.
  • I’ll take the boring diabetes moments while I can.  Gives my brain a chance to think about less arduous things.
  • Like if we get another cat (in a billion years), we will name is Skarloey because that is the best engine name ever.
  • Or how I can make my daughter’s request for a “space” birthday party a thing.  She wants everyone to be able to dress as parts of the solar system, and has a high level of concern for anyone who ends up being the sun because of the excessive heat.  (She has called dibs on being “Earth.”)
  • Or how great it was to see Tom Beatson’s face smiling down at me from a gigantic display in the Joslin Clinic atrium.  (He makes me want to pull a Sara and buy a bike.)
  • Friendly faces in the Joslin Clinic atrium. #latergram #bananarama @abbs2687

    A photo posted by Kerri Sparling (@sixuntilme) on

  • Maybe I will go buy a bike.  #YOLO and also #YLG

But for this morning, it’s time to get back to work.  Thoughts will be more streamlined on another day.