Spending a few weeks offline was nice.  Good for me.  Removed that panic from, “What can I write today?” and replaced it with, “What can I do today?”  Stepping away from my website for the bulk of December was in efforts to shake the dust off my advocacy and outreach efforts by allowing a little room to not advocate or reach out.

Funny how that works, that absence thing doing weird things to the fondless levels of my heart.

When last Wednesday rolled around, I was excited to join the #dsma chat.  Emails are being answered with renewed excitement because I had a couple weeks to disconnect from things, making me appreciate the * ding * of email a little more.  Diabetes doesn’t feel like the narrator anymore; I’ve taken that role back for myself.

And doing non-diabetes things was good.  Traveling a bit with family and friends distracted from the constant hum of pancreatic chaos.  Christmas and New Year’s included hosting a lot of people in and out of our home, filling the space with voices and laughter and pleasant mess.  We made busted-up looking gingerbread cookies that ended up looking more like Super Mario Sunshine stars, but there’s joy found in Mario so yes.

I did a lot of laundry.  Yes, super boring, but superior therapy for me.  Things go into the machine horrible and come tumbling out of the dryer smelling fantastic and all fluffy-clean.  You can have your resolutions for 2016; I just want a pile of clean laundry to snuggle with.

I found one of those big, tupperware packing containers downstairs and it was filled with unused yarn.  The squeal I let out upon discovering this treasure was embarrassing, but I’d do it again because I frigging love yarn.  Currently dreaming up projects, while Birdy steals snippets from skeins to make wigs for her dinosaurs.

I watched my kid go bananas in a New Hampshire snowfall.  “MOM!!” and then EXCITEMENT.  After a winter where shorts have been more necessary than snowsuits so far, it was a beautiful thing, watching her scoop up handfuls of snow and lob them in her five year old rendition of a snowball.  The snow was beautiful.  (Remind me in February that I said that.)

… does this stuff sound boring?  MAYBE IT WAS but at the same time, boring felt nice.  Mellowing out is not my strong point, and neither is sitting still, but a concerted effort to not mentally and physically fidget myself into oblivion was such a stark change of pace that I liked it.

But now the holidays are over and it’s time to ramp things up again, keeping the pleasant mellowing on-call when necessary.  School is back in session and work is edging towards full swing here at home.

But the break was good.  Necessary.  And now my brain feels ready to do its job.

… can’t say the same for my pancreas, but that little bastard is a work in progress.

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