Am I a crumb because I want to rip my devices off sometimes and throw them into a great, blue hole? Like this one? My skin is so irritated by the adhesives and intrusions of my insulin pump and my CGM that the desire to heave them into this abyss is intense.
the Great Blue Hole – I look at pictures of this thing all the time
I hate the bulk of them. The amount of room that my devices take up on my body and the trauma they have a tendency to leave on my skin. I simultaneously absolutely love the convenience of them. The fact that I can take teeny, precise doses of insulin without using a magnifying glass on a syringe or when the alarm goes off in the middle of the night, alerting me to a 70 mg/dL that was sliding towards LOW … this is the stuff that makes wearing diabetes devices worth it for me.
The pros outweigh the cons by a long shot, but the cons are a thorn in my side these days. Or, more accurately, a wicked itch on my skin.
I took my insulin pump off one morning because the site was so sore, and so red, and the mark it left on my body was like a little diabetes bullet wound. I have a high threshold for irritation and itch, but this site was terrible and after pulling it out, I didn’t have anything even close to resembling the desire to put a new one back in. I went on injections for 12 hours before realizing that being on the road wasn’t doing my blood sugars any favors (I was having trouble bringing myself back under 200 mg/dL – rage bolus, anyone?), so once my Levemir injection timed out, I reluctantly put a new pump site in. Admittedly, blood sugar control for me these days is better on the pump.
It’s not just my pump sites that are irritating these days. This morning, I noticed that my CGM site had become red, itchy, and irritated OUTSIDE OF THE TAPE. What the actual fuck? Usually, I have a skin response underneath where the sensor actually is, or where any of the tapes connect. But this round, I have a proximity rash thanks probably to continuously compromised skin (linking to it here because it’s too gross to put on the blog). So now I’m getting a frigging rash in the places where the sensor isn’t even touching?! I’m in a hard place of feeling safer with access to CGM data but access to CGM data produces a fierce itch.
I need a breather. But taking one leaves me exposed. HEAVE this shit into the great blue hole! That’s what I’m doing mentally, chucking all these things that make my skin hurt and itch into the watery hole and watching them sink to the bottom.
… but then diving in to rescue them. Because I hate injections and I hate going to bed without seeing my CGM trend arrow.