“You have diabetes You seem fine.” “I am fine.”
Diabetes makes me walk the precarious fine line
Between “I’m sick” and “I’m not” and the whole in-between
That makes diabetes invisible, and yet so seen.
“Needles? Every day? I could never,”
You could. And you would, and you’d do it forever
If that’s what kept you from good life or harm,
You’d never think twice of needles in your arm.
“You seem fine.” “I am fine, at least I think?”
I try not to let it push me to the brink
But even my best days are still diabetic
And on some days I feel frustrated, mad, or pathetic.
I can follow the rules and try to appease
The needs and requirements of relentless disease,
But even my best days are burnt at the edge
By the efforts that work their way in like a wedge.
“You seem fine.” I am fine, except days when I’m not.
But I do what I’m told, and I learn what I’m taught.
And I’ll keep working harder to keep from the claws
Of an illness that doesn’t do “rewind” or “pause.”
Will it stop me? It might, I can’t lie – and that’s scary
But between now and then, I throw all these hail marys.
It’s life, and it’s mine, and I won’t let it bear
The weight of a heart and mind wraught with fear.
There are miles to run, and children to hold.
There are travels to have, and stories to be told.
Diabetes? Intense, and it looms, and it’s giant
But I’m more than my pancreas. I’ve become self-reliant.
I may host beta cells that checked out long ago
But I refuse to accept the assumed status quo.
I’ll work harder, think smarter. I’m not resigned
To accept limitation. I live life undefined.