Back in early December, I was at a Starbucks in Boston, and I ordered an iced coffee.  (Yes, in December.  I don’t care if it’s snowing – iced coffee rules all year long.)  The girl behind the counter asked what size I wanted, and since I don’t speak “Starbucks,” I just asked for a large.

“We have a new large.  It’s a trenta,” the barista said, grabbing a plastic cup and filling it with ice.

I had no idea what a “trenta” was.  I didn’t really know what a “venti” was.  Every time I ordered something at Starbucks, it ended up being something I didn’t really expect.  So I was used to winging it.  

“Sure.  Please leave a little room for half and half, and I’m good to go.”  

And then she hands me this basin of coffee.  Something I literally could have sat in and drank, Augustus Gloop-style.  

“Seriously?  This is a monster coffee,” I exclaimed, unable to keep my thoughts in my own head.

“I know.”  The barista grinned.  “It’s rolling out soon.  We are offering it to our customers now, though.”

The coffee was big, but I thought I could handle it.  Until about an hour later, when my eyeballs felt like they were going to leap from my head, and I was convinced that I could solve complex scientific equations if I just CONCENTRATED HA HA HA okay?!  The rest of my work day was spent correcting typos that were made by my scrambled hands, and I think I drove home with my head hanging out the window like a golden retriever.  

Buddies.

There is such a thing as too much coffee.  When a coffee makes my blood sugar go from 100 mg/dl to 175 mg/dl without even adding cream, that’s a problem.  Caffeine has always given me a buzz, and it’s also given me a blood sugar spike, depending on my body status (see also: pregnant, lower BMI, higher muscle ratio.).  But the arrival of the disastrously awesome trenta and the subsequent Tweets about it and news articles referencing it, etc., I’m beginning to think that maybe – MAYBE – I should cut back on the coffee a bit.  It’s not healthy to be fueled almost entirely by insulin and hazelnut coffee. 

Trenta.  Seriously?  Is this necessary?  Should I give some thought to cutting back a bit, now that BSparl is older?  Or should I just embrace my inner addict and dive in with reckless abandon?  

Share: