Christmas spans several days here in Sparlingville, mostly due to big families on both sides and plenty of dinners that take place over the holidays.  Christmas began in earnest on Thursday afternoon and stemmed well into Sunday, coming to a full stop once we got home last night and realized there wasn’t anything left under the tree to disburse or open.  Very family-focused holiday, which was awesome.  And other than the cats dancing around inside of wrapping paper rolls and chewing on discarded ribbons, it’s pretty quiet on the holiday front. 

Oh the cringe-factor!!

And now it’s that weird purgatory time between the end of Christmas and the beginning of a new year, with bloggers writing year-end wrap up posts and, or recaps of the holidays, or perhaps cleaning out underneath the bed and finding that box of old diaries.  And then flipping through them and finding MORTIFYING posts from third grade, where apparently I fancied myself both a college sophomore and a mall rat, all at once.  (Despite being nine years old.  And unable to drive.  And without ever having even had my hand held by a boy.  But I wrote as though my life was a harlequin novel, with a high romance factor.)

So honestly, what’s a blogger to do when content ideas are short and laughable moments are being handed out by the pageful?  Oh hell yes I’ll post the diary excerpts.  No one reads blogs on the week between Christmas and New Years, right?  RIGHT?

April 9, 1989:  Today I played Mall Madness on my Flipsider.  And Brownies ended today, and I’m glad because I didn’t like having to sit there and not talk.”  (Flipsiders rocked.  As did Pocket Rockers.)

July 4, 1989:  Today Aunt [name removed] had a cookout and everyone was there!  I went swimming in the pool and it was warm.  Then I went into their hot tub.  Wow it was steamy and if I wore glasses, they would have been all steamed up!!  It was weird.  Then there were fireworks.  What a supurb [sic] day!”  (After reading through a few different entries, it turns out that “weird” was my word du jour of the 80’s.)

October 10, 1990:  I tested my blood sugar today for the first time without mom watching and I saw the number was good.  I’m not going to write it here because it’s none of your business, diary reader, but I did test.  And the number was good.  And that’s it, ‘kay.”  (Even then, I was protective of being judged.  And also indignant, but that’s another discussion.) 

November 18, 1990:  Today Kim babysat.  She gave me a bracelet and I put it on and said thanks.  Courtney and I babysat our cabbage Patch Kids.  They behaved pretty good and that made the whole day easier when they aren’t pretend crying.”  (Pretend crying is pretty different from what I’m expecting BSparl to do.  I’m guessing she’ll be more of a real crier.)

December 2, 1990:  Today [name redacted] was so nice to me.  He gave me three quarters, and a nickel.  Also a portrait of a bird.  I’ll stick the bird on the next page so you can see it, okay?”  (And there, on the next page, was said bird.  I guess I didn’t keep the change.)

January 10, 1990:  I’m going roller-skating today and there will be no adults!  And [name redacted] will be there!!! Okay, I have to do this stuff:  wash my hair, pick out clothes, wear deorderant [sic], wear light-blue eye shadow, bring kit, make a snack, bring about $12.00, get extra eye shadow. ” (Okay, this entry made me die inside, because not only did I need to wear light-blue eye shadow at the age of about ten years old, but I needed back up eye shadow as well.  Because in the early 90’s, you just couldn’t have enough blue eye shadow.)

January 11, 1990:  He couldn’t come.”  (Picture of a heart with a stick through it and sad looking birds.)

(On the inside cover of the diary) Mom, if you are reading this you should just stop, okay?  Because you said you wouldn’t.  And that means that if you are reading this now then you are breaking you’re [sic] word.  And that’s just not NICE.”  (Skull and crossbones here, only done in pink marker.  Threatening, for sure.)

February 1, 1990:  I’m in love.  And [name removed] loves me too.  I know because when I needed a pencil for the test, he gave me one.  That’s what real love it all about including also sometimes holding the door for people.”  (Damn straight, sister!)

All you need is love. And love is shown through pencils.  Words of advice from a ten year old.  🙂 

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