When I was a kid, I used to watch He-Man (and the Masters of the Universe!!!) and thought pretty much any superpower could be summoned by standing in front of something big and gray and hollering “I have the POWER!!!”  This assumption also involved having a tough cat friend that would be my strong, clever sidekick.  Like Battle Cat, who was seriously badass.  

“I have the POWER!!!!”  It would work in all kinds of situations, like when my blood sugar gets all crazytown and I need the insulin to start working immediately.  I’d stand in front of something gray, hold aloft my magical … sword, I guess … and the blood sugar would start to come down without fail.  

Instead, I get this ‘gray thing’: 

She's working.  Obviously.

Lazy, fat, and dozes off on the couch after she watches her “stories.”   

I’ve tried standing in front of her and making reference to “having the POWER!!!” but she doesn’t seem to care.  She just patters around the house, leaving her little pawprints everywhere (see them, right near her leg, on the fabric of the couch?) and staring blankly into the crinkly tube?

She’s even started using the tube as her own, personal top hat.  Like she’s the dim little rabbit in a sad magician’s act.

Cat in a top hat tube.

I’m starting to think that she’s the one that has the power.