You had been quiet for a few weeks, my dear neighbor, but I heard you today. Oh thank goodness! I was worried about you. My ceiling has been eerily quiet lately and I was mildly worried for your well-being.
However, this morning at a crisp 5 a.m. you let me know you were okay. The clomping and stomping told me that you were indeed back in your apartment and that all was well. And the barking told me that you brought a new friend home with you.
The barking. Oh hooray Shoes – you got a dog.
DogShoes sounds like a hearty, robust breed, with a low, sonorous bark and feet that are apparently clad in tap shoes. No little yappy teacup dog for you, eh Shoes? You go all out in your little condo unit. DogShoes must be weighing in at close to 70 lbs, judging by the noise he made this morning running from your kitchen to your bedroom. I hear his joyful barking sounds and could almost feel the swish of his massive tail as he galloped down the hallway.
DogShoes likes to bark when the sun is rising. Maybe he thinks it’s a big ball that he can bound outside and play with! I like when the sun rises, too, but I don’t necessarily want to see it rise on a Tuesday morning. Sunrises are for camping trips or pub crawls – not for a work morning, you silly DogShoes! If I had a newspaper nearby, I would roll it up and bludgeon your owner. Silly!
Oh Shoes, I know you have plenty going on in your life, what with the boyfriend you banish to sleep beneath the mailboxes and the friends who come over to tell you “Oh. My. God. You are so going to piss her off with that skirt!” You are a busy girl. I know you’re out often because sometimes DogShoes goes nuts when he’s bored up there. I can hear him trying to burrow through the floor.
While I would love to have more sleep in my life, it’s reassuring to know that you are back, Shoes. Your absence has made the bags under my eyes go away, and I missed those almost as much as I missed you. I’m so happy you have a new member of your family now – DogShoes sounds like he could eat a ham hock whole! I’m sure he’s very cuddly.
Let me know if you need anything, at any hour, my dear neighbor. I’m awake all the time now.