After reading everyone’s comments and assessing the situation (taking into account that it was also snowing for the first time this winter and I was going to be faced with the Bread and Milk Soup people no matter where I went), I trotted off to CVS after my workout last night and picked up Aveeno Intense Relief hand cream.  It had the words “relief” right there in the title.  And I had a coupon.  (And they were out of the Brad Pitt Jergens … damnit!)

I finished my work for the evening and settled into bed at an unreasonably late hour.  Noting the recommendations of my brilliant readers, I slathered on the hand cream and covered my aching hands with clean, white gym socks. 

Ah.  This felt nice.

Only I looked like I had penguin flippers for hands.  

Good thing I had already tested before bed, or that would have been an ordeal.  I tried to turn off the lamp, only to deftly knock it to the floor.  Abby came up to be petted and my hands were ineffective, trapped in my sock mittons.  

I laid back.  

“I’m a penguin.” By the time I woke up in the morning, I was flipper-less.  The socks had disappeared from my hands and Siah was wrapped up beside one of them.  I still haven’t found the other one.  My hands, however, felt much better and were looking less angry.  

So success is en route, on that front.

However, as soon as I, Awkward Penguin Girl, arrived at work, I slipped in the parking lot and ended up on my arse in the newly fallen snow.  I poured coffee down my sleeve and proceeded to get red ink all over my wrist while I was working.  And just now, I picked up a glittery Christmas ornament to move it out of my way and it EXPLODED all over the place.  The sound of shattering holiday spirits was joined by about 5 lbs of orange glitter.  

Co-Worker:  “What was that?”

“All I did was pick it up!  I’m like the Hulk today.” 

It looks like a pixie flew in and blew up on my desk.  

So now I’m picking glitter out of my keyboard.  And my hair.  It’s all over my black shirt.  And my shoes are more ruby slipper than sneaker at the moment.  

Clumsy, clumsy girl.  

But my hands feel better.