My head has been in the clouds lately.  But I want to thank you for your very kind comments.  They’ve provided me with much-needed solace this week.  I’m currently regarding this issue in my eye as a very annoying Squirrel that has taken up residence.  I will drive him from my tree (read: head) and send him on his merry way.  Whatever it takes:  more time at the gym, tighter blood sugar control, easing off the stress in my life to keep my body calm … I’ll do everything I can to keep this Squirrel at bay.   And if he’s still there in six months, so be it.  As long as he doesn’t bring more friends.  Because if I end up with a head full of Squirrels, I’m going to laser the hell out of them and they’ll be sorry they didn’t leave when they had the chance.


Very long-winded metaphor there.  But I’m sticking with it.  Here’s to the banishment of The Squirrel.  He won’t drive me nuts for long.  (Ah, there’s the pun.)   Until then, and forever more, it’s business as usual.  Forging ahead.  And with that, I’ve stolen a meme from Sandra (who stole it from Penny) in efforts to get my head back in the game.

***     The MEME.     ***

Do you still have tonsils?  Yes.  They are back there in my throat, along with that hanger-ball thingy.

Would you bungee jump?  Oooh, no thank you.

If You Could Do Anything In The World For A Living What Would It Be?  Write.  Ah ha!

How many tattoos do you have?   None.  I never liked the idea of a stretched out, aging dolphin or rose.
Crimey, DM!
Your favorite fictional animal? 
Danger Mouse.  Dashing,  British, and best friends with a hamster named Penfold.  That’s a triple win.

One person that never fails to make you laugh?  Nurse Best Friend.  She and I make no sense to anyone but each other, and it’s damn funny every time.

Do you consider yourself well organized?  Yes.  No.  Um, what was the question?  Hold on, I need to grab a pen…

Any Addictions?  Coffee.  Trashy magazines in the aisles at supermarkets.  (Oftentimes, Chris is kind enough to unload the grocery cart so I can stand there and read the magazines on the sly.)  I think I’m addicted to blogging.  And I really do like driving fast.

From what news source do you receive the bulk of your news?
Sigh … Yahoo.  I’ll admit it:  I get most of my current news either from Yahoo news blurbs or Jon Stewart.

Would you rather go to a carnival or circus?   Carnival.  Where else can you toss a ping pong ball and score a goldfish?

When you were twelve years old, what did you want to be when you grew up? A writer.  And taller than I was at the age of 12.  I’m one for two at the moment.

Best Movie You’ve Seen This Year? The Illusionist.  Or Little Miss Sunshine.  Both brilliant.

Favorite alcoholic drink?  Pinot grigio.  Or a madras.  And I’m in the process of developing a taste for Corona.  More on that once I’m convinced it’s not actually carbonated bread.

What is the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning? Remove the sleeping Siah Sausage from my head and then test my bloodsugar.

Siblings? But of course.  Older brother, younger sister.

What is the best thing about your job?  That I get to write for a living.  And it doesn’t involve insurance in the least bit.

Have you ever gone to therapy?  Once, after my parents divorced.  It didn’t do much for me but I was emotionally unreachable at the time.

If you could have one super power what would it be?  To have three more super powers.

Do you own any furniture from Ikea? The chaos of IKEA has been ferreted out by Mr. Sparling and me.  Half of our living room is furnished with IKEA stuff we’ve built ourselves using dowels and that wild, L-shaped screw thing they give you.  I’ve never been so horrified and delighted at the same time as when I realized that over $500 worth of Ikea stuff fit into a VW Jetta.

Have you ever gone camping?  Yes.  Many, many times.  I don’t fancy myself a woman of the woods, but I “roughed it” and have been known to pee behind trees on occasion.  (I think I may have just crossed the into Too Much Information Land.)

Gas prices! First thought? A vespa.

Your favorite cartoon character? Slowpoke Rodriguez.  Speedy may have received more press, but SlowPoke was just so sleepy and slow … he makes me laugh every time.

What was your first car?  A 1984 Volvo DL with no horn, windows that fell into the doorframe everytime I rolled them down, and started in accordance with it’s German whims.  My brother left it behind when he went to college and I snapped it up when I turned 16.

Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?   No.  But it isn’t the only benchmark for a committed relationship.

The Cosby Show or the Simpsons?   The Simpsons.  All the way.  Comic Book Guy stands guard on my bookshelf at work as we speak.  He’s the gardener here at dLife.

Do you go to church?  No.  Do I have to in order to affirm my faith?

What famous person would you like to have dinner with?  Bono.  Or Larry Bird.  (Are there any surprises anymore?)

What errand/chore do you despise?  The dishes.  They are disgusting.  Once food is done being eaten, I immediately consider it “trash.”  And who wants to scrub trash off their dinner plates?  Horrendous.  I do, however, love washing laundry.  Goes in dirty, comes out clean.  I love that system.  And I could sniff dryer sheets all day long.  They’re like crack for me.

First thought when the alarm went off this morning?  “Why is there a little gray tail in my ear?”

Last time you puked from drinking?  Come on … my mother reads this blog.  (This morning.  Nah, just kidding.  Yesterday morning.)

What is your heritage?   Irish, English, and Italian.  I’m a tea-drinking, hot-tempered pitbull who should be able to cook but is dreadfully deficient in that arena.

Favorite flower?  The ones from Chris.  From roses for Valentines’ Day to a bouquet of daisies he grabbed while grocery shopping, I love them all.

Disney or Warner Bros?  They’re all mildly amusing but if I see one more grown woman wearing a jean jacket with Tweety Bird embroidered on it, I may lose my mind.

What is your best childhood memory?  Riding the carousel every summer in Watch Hill.

Your favorite potato chip?  I don’t like potato chips.  But I love Sherbet Cyclone popsicles.  I haven’t been able to find them in about three years.  If you know of a place where I can purchase Sherbet Cyclones, please disclose your source.  I seriously would drive across states to score a box.  But then I’d have to eat them all in one sitting because otherwise they would melt.  That’s the price I’m willing to pay.

What is your favorite candy?  Gummy peaches.  The first three taste so delicious, but then you have to quit because you’re either going to end up ridiculously high or sick to your stomach.  Still, those first three are money.

Do you burn or tan?  I tan to golden brown perfection.  I am currently missing my summer glow at the moment… looking rather pasty these days.

Astrological sign?  Aquarius.

Do you own a gun?  No way.  But I do have a baseball bat under the bed, just in case I want to play homerun derby in the middle of the night.

What do you think of hot dogs?  They can be kind of pushy.