I realize what a desperate pun the title of this post is, but moving past that, I am sick of spam.  SICK OF IT.

I have a serious filter on my Movable Type system here, but it doesn’t delete any comments or trackbacks without my consent.  So, three or four times a week, I go poking around in the “questionable comments” to see what kind of spam was skewered.  Today just about made my head explode.

I found the following comments that were attempted to be left on Six Until Me. (note:  All typos were left as is.  And any links have been disabled but bolded, so you can see where these villains want to lure you away):

“Hey, found ur sight thru another blog.  want to send nude pics to me thats kewl.  Talk to you tonight luv.”

“Want to increase the size of your UNIT?  Click here.  Click click here.”

“Thank you for blogging about DIABETES.  Maybe we could chat about it sometime?  Click here for more information on me.”  (I almost believed this one.  Until I clicked there.  And went blind momentarily.)

“test.”  (I did.  167 mg/dl.  I corrected back down to 100 mg/dl.  Thank you, Spammer.)

“DIA BET Ess is for you to write about.  Come visit my site and see what I am writting about. XOXOXO.”

“Can’t you tell me how to find someone in this big, fast world?  I’m looking for love and have tried every online dating service.  Maybe this will work.”

“Need affordable car insurance?  Click here.”

“Wicked hot deals!  Buy ur drugs online from Canada and save billions of dollas!  No disclaimer and u can have them shopped to a PO Box if u want to.”

“test”  (What are they testing?  To see if they can comment on my blog?  I think NOT!)

“Big?  Bigger?  Biggest?  Come see.”

This crap makes me crazy.  I do my best to run a blog that is pretty much PG rated (again, the sigh of relief from my mom, Chris’s mom, and Chris) so I can’t figure out how I’m reeling in these creepy spambots.  There is no foolproof filter.  The best I can do is set my spam-filter as high as possible and go delete the offensive ones that sneak through.  Is it as rampant on the entire blogosphere as it is on my little corner of it?  Is there some secret way to thwart these spammers, casting my site away from their prying little devices?One of the three turtles.

But I do have a secret favorite spam comment:

“I have three turtles.  Don’t you wish you had three turtles, too?”

No link.  No URL.  No email address.  Just someone telling me, gently, about their love for three turtles.

And I’ll admit, for a moment, I did wish I had three turtles, too.