I hadn’t checked the mail in a few days, so I wasn’t surprised when I came home to a pile of envelopes on the kitchen table.

“Thanks for checking the PO Box, Chris.”

“No problem. Hey, there was a big package that came in, too.”

Big brown shipping box. Marked “Fragile.”

I took a pair of scissors and sliced through the packing tape. Eight thousand pink Styrofoam peanuts flew out everywhere, much to the delight of Ms. Siah Sausage. I flung out all the packing peanuts and then I Saw Him.

That blonde hair. Those ridiculous socks. Half a smirk graced his plastic face as if he knew the three-point shot was nothing but net as long as he had control of the ball. 

My man, Larry Bird.

This is precisely why Mr. Scott K. Johnson is one of the coolest people on the planet. So I extend my biggest THANK YOU to Scott for the vintage Larry Bird bobble head. It’s tremendously cool and my cardio workout thanks you. Here’s to your vast collection of test strips in your night table drawer.


Siah found him to be rather delicious, too.

 

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