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"I'm here to pick up two scripts for Sparling.  First name is Kerri."


"No, Sparling.  Like 'darling,' only with an S-P?"

The woman leaned in.  "Speaking?"


She stretched so far across the counter that her name badge clanged against the formica top.  "Spanking?"

"Excuse me?" 

How was I going to get through this without laughing?  She wasn't mangling my name on purpose.  But "Spanking?"  That's another first. 

"No, ma'am.  Not Spanking.  Spar-ling.  Es, pee, ay, are, ell, eye, en, gee.  Sparling?"

"Oh!  Sparling!  Why didn't you say so?  I'll get those prescriptions for you.  Just a minute."

Sparkling.  Spaulding.  Spanking.  Tyson?

Still better than Moron, I say.  


I gave my kids short first names thinking that would ensure proper spelling and pronunciation.

How does one confuse Kiran with Karen? Or Shaan (long a sound ) with Sean? Some people are just poor listeners.

Spanking? Oh my. Here's hoping no one is stuck with a last name of Spanking - I shutter to think about getting through grade school with that one!!

Oh. What freaks will google send ur way now?! I have only dealt with Symonds or the occasional Simpson.

Thanks for the giggle.

Ooooh that's an interesting take on it!

We always get wacky pronunciations of our last name (Rhoades, which is just like what you drive on, but spelled funky.) We get all sorts of Latin-sounding rolled "R" sounding rrrr-o-hades!

my name is Siobhan, which is pronounced NOTHING like it is spelt...it confuses a lot of people!

Anymore,(if possible) I just hand them a slip of paper with my name on it..saves the 5 minute "trying to get it right" ritual.(oh,how I've longed for a last name like Smith.Something ridiculously simple, that's spelled how it sounds)

Spanking?? lol! I actually went to grade school with someone named Hiney....

"Spanking-Hiney" would be an even worse engagement notice than "Spanking-Moron".

My maiden name is Byrd and used to get all kinds of mangled names: Boyd, Berg, etc. Now with a last name like Kowalski I can't tell you how often that is butchered: Kawasaki, Kowalalski...

HAHAHA!! That is so funny! You really are going to get some crazy googlers now :)

To Siobhan: Careful what you wish for. I have the common last name of White, and I have had to spell it out so many times, I now just do it automatically!

When I saw the subject in my RSS feed of this blog, knowing Kerri is pregnant, I thought she was going to be asking for the pros and cons of spanking.

I feel your pain. NO ONE can pronounce OR spell my first name right. I've spent my entire life correcting people. But I'm almost squirting my soup out my nose reading your linked blogs from the past on various mistakes of your name. Hilarious!

Okay, we have the last name of Ort. What I find hysterical is one would think it is almost impossible to mangle. Well that ain't true. I can't tell you how many items we have gotten with misspellings of our names or the problems with people at pharmacies. My favorite has to be mail for my Dad addressed to Mr. Hort.

I'm with Joe White....my maiden name was White and I still had to spell it! :)

My husband's name is Duane. We always know it's someone who doesn't know him when they call and asks for "Due-on-ah."

I swear, I don't know WHY you have such problems with it. It is really not that hard of a name. But soon you'll be able to say "No, SPARLING, like the guy who wrote that movie, Buried", and they'll be like "OH! Yeah! Got it."



bumfartel. not kidding.

Maybe Prince was on to something. If you can't pronounce your name, there's no way to MISpronounce it either.

Oh that is too funny!

The poor thing must have been embarrased....

reminds me when I went to the pharmacy and this Indian woman pronounced my name Condom (instead of condon)in front of my grandma... embarrasing for both parties!

reminds me of an acquaintence who named her twins Kara and Marc. When announced, I thought there's a lifetime of Kara with a K, Marc with a C. Why don't parents think this through! Good things for you to think of bsparl.

Did you know diabetics have a higher incidence of hearing loss?

LOL before i changed my name my surnamed was 'Isbell', I used to be called 'Izabelle' all the time...

nowadays I still have to spell out Morris...

and I dread to think what I'll have to do when I finally get married. Other half already has to spell his name out "Bryan...with a y"

That's hilarious, try a first name like Raynore. It gets mangled all the time. It's a family name and I got saddled with it.

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