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The Name Game.

Before I married Chris, my name was mangled by teachers, employers, and the general public.  "Morrone" (pronounced "mah-rown") became a garbled mess of "Monroe," "Maroon," and my personal favorite, "Moron."

Flashback to eighth grade, which was part of our high school.  It was the second week of school and I was trying to fit in and not be noticed, all at the same time.  My mom was coming to pick me up for a dentist appointment, and I was waiting in my English class for the teacher to excuse me.

And over the loud-speaker came the follow announcement:

"Kerri ... Moron?  Your mom is here." 

(Oh the humanity!!) 

But I'm no longer a Morrone.  I'm a Sparling now.

Which apparently comes with its own set of troubled spellings.  Ironically enough, this was on my hotel slip when Dr. Val and I visited the Canyon Ranch Institute in Arizona:

Spelling.  As in, ur doin it rong.

I laughed, took a picture with my phone, and sent it to Chris.  "This is a new one," I texted, and he replied "Indeed - I've never seen that one before!"

My new last name has garnered such interpretations as "Sparkling," "Spaulding," "Spanding," and "Sparly."  But when I was in Philadelphia last week, I had one that surprised even me:

Sparlir?  How exactly did we get to that one?

I suppose it is better than if I hyphenated:  Moron-Sparkling. 


If I had not read your pronunciation of your maiden name, I'd've pronounced it "mo ROH neh"...

The worst I had was, my sixth-grade homeroom teacher read "Balls" instead of "Bell". Worse yet, at that stage I only knew the clinical anatomical terms, not the vernacular ones...

Far more entertaining than my last name. I have to spell it out wherever I go out of habit because everyone thinks Snider is spelled with a 'Y'.

When I was more clever (back in the day?), I would quickly say that "I don't make pretzels." But using the same joke so many times quickly got old.

I know that feeling all to well my last name is Cerff, pronounced "Surf". But have had variations from serff, to greef!

I feel your pain. :)

Oh Kerri, you are a Sparkling Moron. No doubt.

Your Moroness Sparkles.

Sparkle away. You and Chris know the name, that is what matters.

Btw, how do people mess up Sparling??

Everyone knows Simmons. Sometimes I get a Simons but that's about it.

Kerri gets all the fun. :(

I would have died about the loud speaker thing! lol

I hear you. My last name looks more complicated than it really is, and most people put way too much effort into trying to say it. Carmona = Car-MOE-nah. I've gotten Corona, Caramel, Carino, Ramona, and even some who just say, "Well, I don't even know how to begin pronouncing this!". It's loads of fun going to a new doctor's office, because I can expect at least two or three different pronunciations of my name during the check-in/out process.

that's happened to me my whole life as well! my last name is Wangrud [wang-rude]yeah. i guess people just like to make it more complicated that it is.

i get wongrid
wan guard
wing rid
hopefully that changes when i get married :)

my maiden last name is barlis. i've been called baralis, baylis, and my favorite, braless.

My last name only has one pronounciation that people never fail to use.

They say "Buh-LASS" as in lass-o. (or rhymes with "ass")

But it's actually pronounced "Buh-LOSS" (rhymes with gloss.)

It's a short "a" sound, not long "a." I also say it rhymes with "blossom."

That's really the only way I've ever had people say my name, which I suppose makes me lucky but still. Sometimes I just wish my family would change the pronounciation of our name and be done with it!

My maiden name is Byrd (not related to 33, though have been asked hundreds of times) and as a reporter leaving umpteen messages and getting call backs for "Boyd," "Berg," etc. I started putting heavy emphasis on the end: ByrDAH. So my husband started teasing me that I sounded like the lady from Dances With Wolves when she says "Kick-ing Byrd-dah."

I went from Byrd to Kowalski, which gets just as many comments, namely Polish jokes and "Oh, you're going to have to spell that for me."

My maiden name was Cianciola. Enough said.

As a teacher, my name gets slaughtered by little kids (and their parents)on a regular basis, from Mrs. Doubtfire to Mrs. Dolphin...the latest was "Mrs. Doofus". Perhaps that fits my personality, but it definitely doesn't work phonetically with the spelling of my name. Of course, my maiden name was Daniels and sometimes people managed to get that wrong, too...

Hi Kerri,

I have never posted a comment before, but this time I couldn't help myself. My last name is Woodcock. I have heard every comment about this name and most people are so embarassed that they won't even attempt to spell it so I simply say "wood and cock, just like it sounds." When my son was in kindergarten he emphatically told the teacher his name was Gregory Cocky-cock. It was priceless.

Most of the time, it's my first name.
In my area of the south, there aren't very many Cara's. Only Kara's.
So I get Sarah, Clara, Claire, Tara, and the one that annoys me the most "Car-uh".
Most of the time I just ignore it.
Oh, but if I tell someone my name they spell it w/ a K. Sigh.
However, I do have to say that Moron-Sparkling reminds me of Edward in New Moon. LOL ;)
If you've not finished it yet, you'll understand when you do. If you have finished it, you know you just laughed. :P


I consider myself very lucky. If I had a mouthful of liquid when I saw your 2nd photo I would have lost it on my keyboard.

I thought the manglings of Farrell, Ferl, Farrow, Farnell, etc. was bad enough, but Sparlir just took the biscuit.

You know my maiden name.

Yes, people mess even THAT up.

LOL, I feel your pain. My maiden name is Pitts, and I got teased mercilessly for that - "it's the pits", "armpits", etc. Even better was when people somehow accidentally replaced the 'p' with 't'. So kind of them and all, but anyone who's ever met me can confidently say I am no Lee Ann Titts. Far from it.

I thought I was glad to be rid of that, except Thill has come with its own set of issues. I can't fault others, but no one pronounces it correctly - the 'h' in Thill is silent, like it is in Thomas, so it's pronounced 'till'. Most of the time, I don't correct people because 5 years into this name, and I'm tired of explaining. The best though is how so many people automatically throws an 'r' in there. I can't count the mail and phone calls we've gotten for Mr. and Mrs. Thrill.

I should have gone the hyphenated route. I could have been Lee Ann Titts-Thrill...

I am also a Wangrud (maiden name) so I must be a relation to Amber.
My last name was once pronounced "wingwan".
Too funny. I'm interested in how I'm related to Amber.
Email me at tracymarx@comcast.net

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