« Mish and Mush | Main | Oh Yay! »

New to FamilyShoes.

BoyfriendShoesDear Shoes,

I saw the moving van outside the apartment building a few weeks ago.  I must admit, I became rather excited.  The two chubby, bearded movers and the one skinny kid with the backwards hat were bringing down handcart after handcart of items from the apartment right above mine.  Bins of clothes.  A very charming lamp shaped like a pig.  A metal-framed bed.

And Shoes, the glee that filled my heart was astounding.  Off you go!  Into the wild shoes yonder.  I felt a mixture of pride and respect as I imagined you, standing in the doorway of your now-empty apartment, DogShoes' leash clutched in your hands.  You raise your hands in a quick and dignified salute, much like that Growing Pains episode where Mike's best buddy Boner flunks out of college and joins the army.

And then you'd leave. 

Unfortunately, I was wrong.

Your roommate was moving out.  And instead of you and DogShoes following, you brought in a new roommate.  BoyfriendShoes.

You and BoyfriendShoes seem to have a terrific relationship, running through the house at three in the morning wearing what sounds like coffee-can stilts.  But it's nice to know you two are getting along.  You get along all the time - I know, because your bed is apparently right above my kitchen.  I also know that you aren't getting along too perfectly, because I heard you call him a "SOB who couldn't make toast even if his hands were on fire."  Shoes, that's not very nice.  And what the hell does that mean?

He's a helpful guy, though.  I just heard him moving all the furniture in your living room while somehow bouncing on a pogo-stick with DogShoes, or at least that's how it sounded from down here.  And when you scream at him, I don't hear him screaming back.  I'm guessing he may be deaf.  Or in love!

Once almost banished to sleep underneath the mailboxes, BoyfriendShoes now rests comfortably in your apartment.  You, DogShoes the 90 lb giraffe, and BoyfriendShoes.  One big, happy family.  That lives above me.  Wearing steel shoes.

I'm buying earplugs.



:( on more noise.

That is soooo funny, I'm still laughing. Who hasn't lived in an apartment with very (and I'll be nice here) "SPECIAL" neighbors.

The good news is, it doesn't sound like it will last that long!

Awww Man! That sucks! Sorry Kerri. Poor you.

dang Kerri, maybe during your sleepless nights you can knit them all a nice set of family slippers. I'm sure they could be adapted for dogshoes, er slippers.

Not poor me. :) I lived with seven roommates in college and we partied on a regular basis. I think this may be karma, biting me in the arse. ;)

The "Shoes" saga continues, why are people so rude!?

Karma is a boomerang.

I just read that line from Anna Quindlen and was wondering when I might be able to use it. Awesome. Thanks for giving me the chance.

I once invited my neighbor to come down to hear what it sounded like and never had a problem after that.

Between Shoes, the crazy cats and 50,000 words, I don't know how you'll get a good night's sleep!

Good luck! :)

Yeah, I'm pretty sure Shoes lived above me when I was in college. Along with two LesbianGirlfriendShoes who used to yell at my boyfriend (now husband) when he would come over and visit because they didn't want men on the property. And when they weren't all playing musical chairs with their appliances, they were smoking weed. With 30 of their closest friends.
Karma is a beeyotch.

*Snort* LOL I'm sorry you have to put up with that but man, do you know how make things funny. Thanks for that. I really hope things simmer down.

That post made me LOL at my desk...so hard that I got a few looks from the coworkers!

I can relate…My hubby and I have our very own "shoes" upstairs…drives me INSANE. Her hobbies include: moving furniture/running the vacuum at 7am, dialing her phone on speaker so I can hear every single number, listening to the TV as if she’s in the movie theater, and having a cat - that I SWEAR is actually a dog - who loves to jump off her bed/chair/couch/whatever onto the floor landing with such a thud that I worry he will one day end up in my lap…oh yeah and the hyper game he plays which includes running across the floor faster than a bat out of hell, over and over and over again….yeah that’s definitely the most fun…ESPECIALLY when I’m trying to sleep.

: )

Oh no! I had a shoes upstairs neighbor once too. Ugh. Maybe as a holiday gift, you should buy her (and him) nice comfy slippers and leave them wrapped up on their doorstep. Maybe they will not only take their shoes off sometimes, but they will think you are quite neighborly.

Anyway, sorry to hear she has a "solemate." Get it? - Like the soles of your feet?!

Okay, give me a break. It's Monday. I'm tired. ;)

When I didn't think Bootsaboveme could get any louder - I heard him howl like a wolf during sex the other night; yeah it was kind of weird.

How cute, we had neighbors called "The Lowds". The Lowds were special in their cooking smells and twice set the smoke alarms off forcing myself and the cat out into the street. I worked at night at the time and hubby found it funny they only burned in the daytime.

Hey Kerri..I am a huge fan of your blogging..it's one of the first things I read every morning when I get to my office. I am diabetic, since 36 years old..am 57 now. (insulin dependent) Although I was diagnosed as an adult, I still find lots of comfort in so much that you live with; I don't quite feel like the Lone Ranger when I read of your lows or highs. I am SO HAPPY about your baby girl!! Thanks for making me laugh!

Post a comment

(All comments are moderated. Thanks for your patience!)