It Could Have Been Worse - Tom's Story
Tom's Story.
On the day I was diagnosed at 15 years old, I was checked into the hospital. I had been experiencing the typical symptoms of thirst, weight loss and going to the bathroom a lot. I shared the room with a 17 year old boy undergoing chemotherapy for leukemia. Down the hall during my 2 day stay was a boy who blew his hand off with a firecracker. My mom told me that in a sense she was relieved by my diagnosis because she was worried it could have been worse. She feared that the unexplained weight loss could have been due to something worse. Somewhere on the back of my mind I remember agreeing with her. Seeing people close to my age going through struggles that I thought were much worse than what I was going through helped give me some perspective as I began my daily battle with this disease. I think my mother’s words best describe my attitude towards diabetes, “it could have been worse”.
My positive attitude towards my diabetes has usually helped me, but for a time it got a little dangerous. I tested just enough to get by and gradually my weight and my A1c started to creep up. I had some dangerous lows including an embarrassing situation at work that could have been avoided if I had been more open about my diabetes. At this time last year, my A1c was up to 7.9 and my weight was up around 210 pounds. I was getting by through the highs and lows, but I knew that I could do so much better. I knew that if I ate better and became more active, I would be improving my quality of life, so I decided to change.
I started by switching doctors. My doctor wasn’t doing a bad job, but I felt like I needed a fresh start and needed to take a more aggressive approach. I knew that I needed to view my diabetes as more than just an inconvenience and recognize it as a part of me that wasn’t about to go away that had to be monitored closely.
I began seriously watching what I ate – counting carbs and cutting way back on things like potatoes, pasta and rice. I began testing more frequently – even after meals. My goal was to finally start on the pump after years of putting it off. Gradually I started to feel and look better. The weight started melting away and my energy started to increase. I started going to the gym religiously four times a week. I hadn’t realized it, but for the previous few years by doing just enough to get by I had been selling myself short. That wasn’t good enough.
In May, I had my three month endo appointment. My weight was down to 178 and my A1c came back at 5.8. I have become more open about my condition, not being embarrassed to wear a medical identification necklace. I even participated in a taping of a roundtable discussion for DLIFE television. My diabetes is not always at the front of my mind, but it is always there somewhere and being willing to confront it has changed my life for the better. I have energy that I haven’t had in years to do things like yard work or bring our dogs for a walk.
I am 30 now. My wife and I have been married for 5 years and would like to have children soon. Sometimes I think that my diabetes has prepared me better than others for the challenges ahead because I have learned to always look at the big picture and understand about how the choices I make now can impact me down the road. I look forward to living as healthy a life as possible and watching my children grow up.
Soon I will have lived longer with diabetes than without it. Do I like it? Of course not. It sucks that I have to test my blood sugar 10 times a day to make sure my control is good. It sucks that I almost completely avoid foods like pasta and pizza and that going for a beer with my friends throws my blood sugar all out of whack. As much as it sucks though, I’ll always remember that it could have been worse. I don’t know what happened to the boy who had leukemia or the boy who lost his hand. I hope that like me, they came out ok.
