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Posts from the ‘Psychosocial Support’ Category

Drafting Off #DSMA: Diabetes Job Description.

I love tuning in to the diabetes discussions on Twitter – they are always insightful and make me see things through a different (insulin-colored?) lens. The final question of last night’s #dsma chat really brought out some interesting responses:

I wasn’t exactly sure what “position description for life with diabetes” meant, specifically, so I took it as a “job description” of sorts … and one that would vary for everyone:

Looking back, I’m grateful that my learning curve belonged mostly to my parents (which is good because I’m sure it was steep at the outset). Once I was ready to take over the responsibility of diabetes self-care, the disease was embedded solidly into the context of my life and the learning curve became more of a gentle, but constant, slope.

Reading the diverse responses from my fellow PWD on #dsma was an eye-opening experience. That’s what brings me back to #dsma every time, because there’s no set-and-standard answer to any diabetes-related query … we’re all unique and special pancreatically-challenged snowflakes. :)

Jamie summed it up neatly:

To join the diabetes conversation, watch the #dsma hashtag on Twitter on Wednesday nights at 9 pm EST. It’s a great way to wind down your night while building up our community.

A Human’s Resilient, One Hundred Percent!

Sighed Panky, a lazy panc deep in the gut
“I’m tired and I’m bored
And I’m stuck in a rut
From making, just making insulin every day.
It’s work! How I hate it!
I’d much rather play!
I’d take a vacation, or a long nap
If I could find someone to do all this crap!

If I could find someone, I’d kick back and chill …”

Then Panky thought, “Could Kerri be up for the thrill?”

“Hello!” called the lazy panc, smiling her best,
“You’ve nothing to do.  Does this sound too strange …
Would you like do the work I do for a change?”

Kerri laughed.
“Why of all silly things?
I haven’t islets or enzymes or things.
ME do your job?  Why that doesn’t make sense!
Your job is make insulin!  The thought makes me tense.”

“Tut, tut,” answered Panky.  “I know you’re not me
But I know you can do this.  Won’t you hear my plea?
Just pick up that needle and draw up the dose.
Once insulin’s flowing you won’t feel morose.”

“I can’t,” said the Kerri.
“PL-E-ASE!!” begged her panc.
“It won’t be too hard, kid.  Sorry to pull rank.
But I’m leaving regardless if you raise your voice.”

“You’re a jerkface,” said Kerri.  “Not to give me a choice.

I’m unsure how to do this. Details are the devils!
How do I keep steady my blood sugar levels?
What do I do? Can you leave me instructed?”

“You’ll figure it out,” and the panc self-destructed.

“The first thing to do,” murmured Kerri,
“Let’s see.
The first thing to do is to prop up this Me
And to make ME much stronger.  This has to be done
Because diabetes can weigh an emotional ton.”

So carefully,
Hopefully,
She searched, unimpeded
For the resources, tools, and support that she needed.

“I know that there’s life found after diagnosis.
It’s good and it’s worth it. That’s the prognosis.
I meant what I said
And I said what I meant …
A human’s resilient,
One hundred percent!”

Then Kerri, with peers and insulin by her side,
Well she tried
and she tried
and she tried
and she tried.

She kept at it for decades
Despite feeling perplexed.
It requires work one day,
Again on the next.
It sucks! Then it doesn’t!
But Kerri remained sure,
“My life’s worth this effort,
(Though I’d still love a cure.)
I wish Panky’d come back
‘Cause some days I’m so burnt.
I hope that my body thrives on the things that I’ve learnt.”

But Panky, by this time, was far beyond near,
And was dormant for good now. Diabetes was here
And was staying, so Kerri, for better or worse,
Had a pump on her hip, glucose tabs in her purse.

Diabetes is constant, day after day.
But the life in its wake is still good, plenty yay.
And even on days when the Stuff is Way Blah,
Life with disease is not life without Awe.
“It’s not always easy. Diabetes might test me.
“But I’ll stay on task and I won’t let it best me.
I meant what I said
And I said what I meant …
A human’s resilient
One hundred percent!”

Some days it is simple. Some months are real hard.
Diabetes is something you can’t disregard.
But a panc on vacation doesn’t mean that you’re broken.
“You can still do this.”

Truer words never spoken.

 

[With apologies and thanks to Dr. Seuss,  this is in homage to Horton Hatches the Egg.]

 

Focusing on Happy.

Clouding on the Road.

The CGM in the Cloud concept matters most to me when I’m traveling alone.  While I was in Orlando last week, my bedside table looked like this at night:

A Moto G hooked up to my Dexcom G4, sending CGM data to the cloud.

And that data being routed to my family back in Rhode Island and to my wristwatch.

A few questions I heard from people throughout the conference:

“What peace of mind does it give you that the CGM itself doesn’t?”

I slept better with this thing rigged up.  It’s a clumsy set-up (all those cables and wires and plugged-in-ports) but the ends justify the means.  Chris could see my data while I was sleeping, and his system would alert him to any wicked overnight hypos, should they occur.  That’s some good peace of mind for me when I’m a plane ride away from my support system.  While my overnights are usually unnervingly spot-on (nailing down my overnight basal has been the luckiest break ever, and I blame my in-range A1C on spending those 6+ sleeping hours in-target), low blood sugars still creep in and can cause chaos.  I liked being hooked up while I was sleeping.

“Why wear it connected throughout the day?”

It was more convenient than I thought to have the graph running on a watch.  I didn’t realize how often I go digging through my bag for my Dexcom receiver until I spent a few days not doing that.  I like the seamless flick of the wrist and the “Hey, that’s my number,” and moving one sentiment.  But, to be honest, I think I kept it hooked up during the day partly because I knew people would have questions/want to see the rig and I wanted to be able to show them. Nothing answers questions better than seeing the system “in the wild.”

“Why don’t you wear it all the time?”

What made it less convenient to keep the system “clouding” on this trip is that I haven’t purchased a data plan for the Android phone yet, and have been running it off of open wifi signals (the hotel, convention center, restaurants, etc).  That’s a definite hurdle, and since the system is most important for me to run while I’m sleeping during travel (or home while Chris is traveling), using wifi seems to work best for my needs.  It’s simple to connect/disconnect from the cloud system as I need to.  I’m also hesitant to tax the USB port on my Dexcom receiver because I don’t have a spare receiver and I also don’t want to break the device I have come to rely on.

“Do you really want your family seeing your numbers all the time?  What about your privacy?”

Really good question.  This is why I’m looking forward to the Dexcom Share application, because that app will allow me to revoke access to my data if I choose.  As it stands now, my CGM data is clouded to a site that I have shared with my husband and my mother, and if I’m hooked up to the CGM in the Cloud system, they have access to my data.  It’s not a password-protected application.  I would love to see the data protected by some kind of password system.  I appreciate the option to share the data for my safety, but not for their scrutiny.  However, when it comes to the overnights while I’m traveling, I don’t care who sees those numbers.  Their having access makes me feel less vulnerable, and I’m willing to sacrifice my data privacy for those 6+ hours.

Clouding CGM data is a work-in-progress.  Much like life with diabetes.

#wearenotwaiting

 

 

Snapshots: Fell Off.

Until next time.

Unexpected Advocacy.

The last thing I wanted to do was take my cover-up off.

Chris and Birdy (and our friends and their daughter) were at a water park in New Hampshire where kids can run and play in safe-for-littles sprinklers, pools, and water slides, and as the adults, we were tasked with guarding the perimeter.  Pacing back and forth, the four of us kept watch on our kids, ready to jump in at any moment to help them climb a slide, pick themselves up if they fell, or slather on more sunscreen.

I didn’t care who saw my body.  Not really, anyway.  I’ve run miles and given birth (not simultaneously), so I know there are strengths and weaknesses to my frame, but it wasn’t the shape and curve of my body that made me want to stay covered up at the water park.

I didn’t want people staring at the diabetes devices stuck to my body.

“Oh, suck it up.  No one is looking at you.”

Of course they aren’t.  They don’t mean to.  But when someone walks by wearing a bathing suit with a few curious looking devices hanging off it, it’s hard not to notice.  My standard beachwear is a bathing suit with my pump clipped to the hip, the tubing snaked out to wherever the infusion set happens to be living, and my Dexcom sensor taking up more real estate elsewhere.  These items aren’t jarring, and people don’t snicker, but they do look twice because cyborgs aren’t the norm.

Most of the time I don’t think twice about who might look, but on this particular day, I felt self-conscious.  Why?  Who knows.  Who cares.  I just felt eh that day.

But motherhood dictated that my self-consciousness take a backseat to being part of Birdy’s waterpark experiences, so I sucked it up and removed my cover-up.  My insulin pump infusion set was stuck to the back of my right arm, the tubing snaking down and tucked into my bathing suit, where the pump was clipped to the back.  My Dexcom sensor was mounted on my right thigh.  Even though these devices are reasonably discreet, I felt like I had two giant toasters stuck to my body.


Birdy needed help climbing to a higher platform in the play area and I helped her do that, thankful that my pump was waterproof.  We ended up in the sprinkler pad for a while and I was thankful that the tape around my Dexcom sensor was strong enough to withstand the water.  After a few minutes, I got over the whole “blargh – I don’t want to wear giant toasters” feeling and got on with things.

“Excuse me.  Is that an insulin pump?”  All casual, the question came from behind me, where one of the park lifeguards was standing.  His arms were crossed over his chest as he confidently watched the pool, but his question was quiet.

“Yeah, it is.”  I wasn’t in the mood to have a full chat about diabetes, but I didn’t want to make him feel awkward for asking.

“You like it?”

“I like it better than taking injections.  I was diagnosed when I was a kid, so the pump is a nice change of pace from the syringes.”

“I bet.”  He paused.  “I was diagnosed last August and I’ve been thinking about a pump.  But I hadn’t ever seen one before.  Is that it?”  He pointed to the back of my arm.

“Kind of.  That’s where the insulin goes in, but the pump is this silver thing back here,” I pointed to the back of my bathing suit, where my pump was clipped.  “This is the actual pump.  It’s waterproof.”  A kid ran by, arms flailing and sending splashes of water all over the both of us.

“Good thing,” he said.

“For real.”  Birdy ran by to give me a high-five and then took off playing again.

“Your kid?”

“Yep.”

“How long have you had diabetes?”

“Twenty-seven years.”

He gave me a nod.  “Thanks for not making it seem like it sucks.  Enjoy your day,” and he moved towards a group of kids that were playing a little roughly.  I stayed and continued to watch my daughter play, very aware of my diabetes devices that, for the first time ever, didn’t seem quite noticeable enough.

 

(Also, today has been unofficially designated as a “day to check in” (hat tip to Chris Snider) with the DOC blogs that we’re reading.  I read a lot of diabetes blogs, but I don’t often comment because I usually want to say something meaningful, instead of “I like your post.”  (But I do like your post!)  But instead of finding that meaningful comment, I usually roll on and forget to return to comment.  NOT TODAY!  Today I’m commenting on every blog I read, because that’s the name of the game.  I love this community, and today I’ll show that through comments.  So please – if you’re here, say hello!  And thanks. xo)

Tallygear Winners!

The Tallygear giveaway was fun to run because it helped contribute to a discussion about how people in the diabetes online community are tackling diabetes-related stigma.  The comments section had some great points about erasing diabetes stigma, and I wanted to highlight a few:

“Today I had a good discussion with my sister about the different challenges I face (35 years worth!)—– things that I usually keep to myself for fear of ‘boring’ someone. We both learned something special.” – Deb

“Isabella just started a Dexcom trial so she now has two devices on her 3-year-old body (Omnipod, too). When we go places I never encourage her to wear clothes that cover up her devices. I’d rather people see them and ask us what they are so we can spread awareness and educate them. In fact, Isabella is proud to show off her pods that we decorate…sometimes you forgot that even 3-year-olds can fight off stigmas, too.” - Kristina

“I am stupidly proud to admit that I am becoming a ‘regular’ at my gym. More people wave, say hi and even start conversations with me. More often people are asking me what my D-devices are. And I am more and more comfortable in telling them. And if further asked I actually find a little happiness in explaining what my (and our) T1D is and they actually want to know more. Erasing #dstigma one workout at a time and it really feels awesome. Really.” - Marie C

“I try to help change the perception of T1 by showing my friends/family that my daughter can do ‘normal’ activities and eat ‘regular’ foods!” - Zak

“I work as a nurse in a hospital and while my unit is not diabetes-specific, nearly all of my patients have some form of diabetes. While I don’t think it is appropriate to tell them about my diabetes, I try to have real conversations with my patients about managing their diabetes as effectively as possible. My hope is that I am doing my small part to reduce the #dstigma by giving people the chance to talk openly about their disease.” - Melissa

“My answer to reducing the #dstigma is to talk about my experiences. I don’t hide the fact the I have diabetes, and am always happy to answer questions. Can’t change the world all at once, but a little bit at a time can go a long way.” – Mark

Loopy hates stigma but loves ribbons.

And now, the winners!  The winners of the Tallygear giveaway (chosen at random by the Rafflecopter widget, which tallied blog comments and Twitter interaction) are Jen L, Gisela, and Kristina G! Thanks for joining the diabetes stigma (#dstigma) discussion and sharing your perspectives.  I’ve sent you an email and will send out your Tallygear fun stuff in the next few days.

Thanks to Tallygear for making this giveaway possible (be sure to check out their website and peruse their fashionable, and functional, products), and thanks to you guys for being an advocacy force that is changing the way society views diabetes, one moment at a time.  Like Mark said, “Can’t change the world all at once, but a little bit at a time can go a long way.”

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