Signing off

This is weird.

I don’t know what to say in a last blog post, because it makes it seem like a black hole is going to open up and suck me into it once I hit “publish.” (I really hope that doesn’t happen, because I still need to shower. I’d hate to be stuck in some Interstellar purgatory and have yesterday’s hair.)

Emotions are all over the place today. I keep thinking, “happy birthday, blog!” because today marks fourteen years of writing online. “Blessed” feels like an overused hashtag. “Excited” seems like a weird emotion for the end of something I love(d), but it might be the closest word that covers it. I’m really excited to have spent these years writing here. And I’m excited about what’s coming, my brain suddenly electric and sparking with possibilities that I’ve had tooling around up there for years but haven’t had the time to put to paper.

Now is that time.

Some of what’s percolating is related to diabetes, thanks in large part to the pervasive and incurable thing that is type 1, but I’ll discover different places and way to say it. I have some projects in the pipeline that should see the light of day by the middle of the summer, and others that have a longer tail. (Tale?)

Some of it isn’t related at all to a busted pancreas. I know I have several books inside of me trying to get out, and they’ve been giving me internal paper cuts for years. I’m ready to write those, too.

I’m just so damn grateful to have shared these years with you all. From the day I posted my first blog post back in 2005, I’ve been trying to figure out what this site would be, what it would mean. I didn’t know what a blog was and the word tasted weird but hey, why not write about personal health information on the Internet? I remember learning HTML and CSS so I could build the site out. I learned how to code, even remedially, because it cost too much to hire a webdesigner. I wrote my heart out, and double-spaced after each period (and will FOREVER).

My then-boyfriend read it. And my mom read it. And two of my friends read it. But then two other people found it. And I found a handful of others. And I wasn’t alone with diabetes anymore.

This community was exactly what I didn’t know I needed.

I scroll through these pages, reading some of the older stories, and I’m really proud to be part of a community that shares like this. One that feels like this. One that loves like this. My blog has been online for fourteen years, but it hasn’t been alone. The best part of being a “diabetes blogger” has been being part of the diabetes community. Each one of you who shares your story, any story, is making a difference and that cannot be overstated. What I’ve learned from this community has been nothing short of life-saving. Stories matter, even the smallest ones.

Tell yours. And as our community grows, remain true to the mission of taking care of one another.

Going forward for SUM, this post will stay on the front page for a week or two, and then I’ll shuffle it along in favor of a landing page that will introduce new readers and old friends to the site. Over the next few weeks, I’ll be moving all 14 years of posts to this archive, and I’ll switch the comments off at that time. This site will be maintained going forward, but in that overgrown, never-mowed lawn sort of way.

In the meantime, I have no plans to be sucked into an abyss of any kind. You can still email me at kerri (at) sixuntilme DOT com. I’ll be on Twitter and Facebook and Instagram as time and desire allows, and I’ll still be involved in events and speaking engagements. (There’s a rumor about a podcast but that’s unfounded as of yet.) This blog will remain archived and readable. I’ll still be reading your stuff. And I’ll have a new URL that will go live in a few months, but more on that when the time feels right.

You can’t shake me that easily.

I’m all emotional and messy at the moment, like I’m signing off from the world forever, which is going to make it even weirder when I post something random to Instagram tomorrow. (Checks to make sure the abyss hole isn’t forming in the wall behind me.) For someone who has had little trouble writing 500 word blog posts five times a week for the better part of fourteen years, I’m flailing at the moment. This is intensely weird.

To you, the people who have been reading here since whenever you found me – thank you. Thank you for giving me purpose in this way. Thank you for making time to be part of my life. Thank you for letting me be part of yours. And thank you for your continued support in whatever’s next.

To say “I love you” wouldn’t feel wrong.

So I love you.

Thanks for every last bit of all of this.

82 thoughts on “Signing off”

  1. Love you too, friend. Thanks for all the content and bringing so many people together. You have helped me. You have helped others. And I know that this work has helped you too. What a positive and uplifting place this has been for so many. I have sincere gratitude and thanks for you, Kerri. I can’t wait to see how your amazing talents continue to change the world.

  2. Barbara Fisher

    Your blog was the very first one Google directed me to in January 2011, just days after our then 3 year old was diagnosed. I have no words to fully explain how you helped a clueless mom learn how people live and thrive with type 1, and always making me laugh while doing it. All the best wishes in your next chapter, and thank you so very much for sharing your type 1 journey. —Appreciative in Atlanta

  3. Our daughter was diagnosed in April 2009. You were our lifeline into this strange new world. Thank you so very much

  4. I found your blog early after my daughter was diagnosed when she was barely 2. She’s over 14 now and living life huge and your blog was a great resource to me raising her. And I know I’ll come back as she reaches more milestones in her life. One of the early posts that stuck out to me was the one where you talked about how your seamstress altered your wedding gown so you could access your pump!!

    I hope your next endeavors are wonderful!

  5. THANK YOU for sharing your hilarious, insightful, encouraging, supportive point of view!! I will miss reading your blog posts but can’t wait to read that incredibly dangerous novel waiting to get out.

  6. Thank you so much for sharing so much of your life with us. I found your blog 10 years ago when I was diagnosed. You helped to understand this disease a little better. And when I was pregnant, I came here to see what to expect.
    Thank you for making me not feel alone!!!

  7. Thank you for all you’ve done, and especially all you’ve written and shared. Thank you for being a big part of so many people’s ‘not-alone-ness’. Including mine.

    Excited for what comes next, but more than a little sad too.

    But mostly… thanks.

  8. Kerri, thank you so very much for all of your words and insight over the years. You were one of the very first blogs I found when Grace was diagnosed in 2009. It was enlightening, inspiring, heartbreaking and most of all, encouraging, for a newly diagnosed kid way back in 2009. Thank you for all of that. I look forward to your next chapter.

  9. I’m not crying….awww that’s absolute bullshit. I found your blog within a year of my diagnosis (which was Dec of 2004) and was angry, bitter, resentful of this new life I felt like I was floundering and fumbling through. (Let’s be real though, there are still days that feel like that!) Your sense of humor, your optimism, and real ness struck a chord with my heart. Thank YOU for making me laugh, cry, and letting us celebrate the joys you have experienced, despite this effing disease. I’m so grateful I’ve had the chance to hear you speak and to have met you. You are an incredible human being, who will do incredible things!

  10. Kerri,
    I don’t have diabetes, but when I was diagnosed with lupus and rheumatoid arthritis in 2008, at the age of 22, your’s was one of the first chronic illness blogs I stumbled upon. Your writing style and humor sucked me in and I’ve been reading ever since. Your blog made me realize that while our illnesses might be different, our experiences as patients are similar in many ways. Thank you for that! Looking forward to seeing what’s next for you!
    Leslie

  11. You’ve brought a lot of people together through your blog. It’s an amazing thing. I never would have found DSMA chats without you and who knows where I’d be. Thanks for everything!

  12. I have followed your blog since my son’s diagnosis 13 years ago. Thanks for helping us through it all with your words. Reading your blogs helped me when I was frustrated with my son’s diabetes. Thank you for taking your time to share with us all.
    I missed meeting you at last years Friends for Life Conference here in Niagara Falls, hopefully next time. Take care Kerri.

  13. Thanks. I found you when my daughter was diagnosed at 4 in 2008. It was the first positive thing I’d found online. I’d been reading parent posts on CWD and people tend to post there on bad days so I was a bit overwhelmed and terrified. You really helped me through the first few years. Now I need a good blog to make it through the teen years . Enjoy and thrive in your next adventures.

  14. Thank you, I’m glad I found you when I did! Your posts about your pregnancy helped me so much through my own 1st pregnancy back in 2010!

  15. This DOC would have been a very different place without you these past 14 years. Thank you for your beautiful writing, for your honesty, for you contributions in the diabetes space and the larger patient community. I know those contributions won’t stop here and I’m excited to hear about the new paths you have planned. Happy birthday SUM.

  16. Amy Davidson-Williams

    Back in 2006, I thought I would do something no one had done: start a diabetes blog. Then I found SUM. And all I wanted to do after that was read yours. You capture our hearts, make us laugh, tell us truths that may make us mad, give us hope, all while keeping it classy and relevant. You’ve raised some of us along with your littles. And some, like me, are a few years older than you. I’m a mother now. Something I wanted with every breath, but didn’t know what I do now thanks to the village of type 1 mamas I can call friends.
    I know you’ll be around. And I’ll still feel like you’re keeping a watchful eye over your SUM flock!

  17. Thank you so very much for sharing. I found it helpful to stop in here after my child was diagnosed.

  18. I will miss reading you here, but I’m so excited for the next stage of your life. Thank you for your friendship and your kindness, which can never be overstated.

  19. Thanks for all you’ve done. It’s the end of something, but the beginning of so many other things (all of which you should be proud of). Thank you for the beautiful journey, & helping so many others feel “not alone.”

  20. Pamela Kulwiec

    When I was diagnosed in 2012 it was a terrifying, confusing and even angry time for me. I think it was about six months into my new life when I discovered your blog and it was literally a Godsend! For once I felt like someone that I could totally relate to and who would relate to me. Thank you for all you’ve written – you have no idea how much you helped me!

  21. I will be forever grateful to have stumbled upon your blog late in the evening when googling “diabetes” and “pregnancy”. You gave me hope when there was little (My daughter is 4 now). It meant the world to me to have met you this past weekend at TCOYD in Honolulu. We are fortunate to have a voice like yours that truly captures life when dealing with a broken pancreas. Thank you.

  22. We’ve never met and I’m emotional because your blog was the first I read after my son was diagnosed. So alone and scared to death, you let me, a scared mom, realize that it was going to be OK. That he would be OK. That he would have a normal, productive, wonderful life. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself and shining a beautiful light on this disease and community. I look forward to hearing about your next adventures. I wish you the best.

  23. Thank you, Kerri! I found your blog shortly after my diagnosis in 2011, and have been reading since. It has helped me so much. I will sorely miss your words! Good luck with all your new projects!

  24. I learned a lot on this site and still refer to it at times when I need a good answer! Its been a wonderful blog and I hope you are VERY proud knowing how many people you have helped in so many ways. Best of luck with your future writing career but I have no doubt, you’ll shine there as well.

  25. Kerri Martin

    Goodness, it feels like I’m losing a friend. Good luck in your future endeavours and be sure to keep us in the loop.
    From one Kerri to another ❤️❤️❤️

  26. I found your blog a lot of years ago, before Facebook and Twitter were out there and the DOC was a dream. It made me feel not so alone in the d-world. I can’t thank you enough for your openness, info and humor over the years. (Ironically – the first post I read was nothing about diabetes, rather it was about names carved in peanut butter.)

    I wish you all good things and much success. I am looking forward to hearing all about this next chapter!

  27. From your Mother…as Grammie would have said “You did good”. I am one proud Mom to have raised and experienced how you have handled this disease. You have let others into your life thru your writing to show others that a diagnosis of Diabetes shouldn’t hold you back in any way. It’s a “thing” you just deal with while being who you are meant to be. You’ve done it with class and humor. On to other adventures because that’s what life is about….adventures! Love you. Mom

  28. Nikki Thomason

    Hi Kerri,
    Even though I’m a T2, I found your blog soon after I was Dx in 2008 and loved it so much that I went back to your first post in 2005 and binged-read them to catch up (sort of like my recent binge-watching of past seasons of GOT so that I know the backstories of the main characters in season 8).
    It was such a delight to finally meet you over a long, packed dinner table in a Vegas restaurant during Duncon.
    Your blog was the springboard to connecting with other members of the DOC and getting to hang out out with them, doing really fun things in RL at least once a year.
    I’m going to miss reading your posts, but I am excited to hear your mysterious (to your readers) plans for your exciting future.
    Be well and Be Kerri.
    Cheers,
    Nikki

  29. Thank you so much for all the words you’ve written over the years! Yours was my favorite and most helpful blog I found when I was diagnosed in 2007, and I went back and read every single post from before too! I love the way you write from the heart, and the way you make it sound like you’re talking, so very real! You have great things inside of you, and so many things to do, so go do them!! Just keep us posted! I know I, for one, would love to read some of your work, for example! (Oh and hey, check out all those double periods!! You know the way to do it!)

    Thanks, and the very very best of luck to you in everything you do!

  30. I learned quite a few diabetes tidbits from you over the years, but mostly just how to approach it with a sense of humor and not be ashamed of if. So, thanks for that.

  31. Thank you for sharing your wonderful words for all these years! Your writing has always grabbed and pulled me in – I can’t wait to see what more you have in store and will be first in line to purchase whatever comes next. And you are just as infectious in person as you are on the page. (I’m old school as well, so thanks also for keeping it true, from a fellow double-spacer!)

  32. Kerri, there is no way I can possibly express my thanks adequately. I’m so glad that you’ll keep SUM available. It is an absolute treasure trove, known to so many, and still waiting to be discovered by so many more. I join everyone else who will wait relatively patiently but very eagerly to see (and read) what you have in store. Thank you, thank you, thank you for more than you can possibly know.

  33. Though I only recently (<1 year) discovered SUM, I check it so often that I feel like I’ve read your site for years. You, clearly, know how to explain, express, educate, share, and convey thoughts that are important to to the t1d population(and beyond by reading some posts) with enthusiasm.

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts, and best wishes going forward.

    John

    A TY to your family as well for understanding the importance of the work you’ve done.

  34. I may not comment, other than the occasional giveaway entry, but I’ve been a constant reader. Finding you and your blog a few years after diagnosis helped. A lot. Thank you for the light you’ve shown and love and wishes for your books to blossom

  35. Thank you for your inspiration and wisdom and humour and can’t wait to see how your writing evolves…one door closing is another opening!

  36. Thank you for the gift of so much hope. I found SUM a decade plus ago in college. Your posts have held me up through many hard times, but I want to thank you more than anything for sharing your pregnancy and diabetes journeys with the abyss. I needed so often to remind myself that it was hard but I could do it when planning for and managing diabetes during my own pregnancy, and your archives were always there – beautifully written and reflective of so much of what I was feeling. Best wishes on your next adventures. Thank you, thank you, thank you for all of your writing and advocacy.

  37. Kerri,
    Thank you for all that you have shared over the years, as well as your teachings. You are an inspiration to me, wishing I could balance my DBM life, along with my personal. Seems so easy on paper or in all the creative commercials. We all know better.
    I wish you well in your upcoming adventures ~ I know we will be reading your future publications!!!

    Stay healthy.♡♡♡♡♡

    Robyn
    DBM 32 yrs.

  38. Thank you, Kerri, and best wishes in your new adventures. As the mother of two kids with Type 1, I have so appreciated your candor, vulnerability and humor. I will miss your posts.

  39. It may have only been a brief moment when we met years ago at a TCOYD event but that connection was all that was needed to inspire and give me hope that life was going to be ok . I wish you all the best in your endeavors. Mahalo nui loa !!

  40. I cannot wait to see what your next projects will be – that makes me excited! Your blog was the first I found and you introduced me to the DOC. Thank you from NZ!

  41. Sorry to see you go – though, sadly, it has been I who have fallen off blog reading and social media posting (and I’m not sure why), and d-meetups (those mostly an issue of scheduling and money). You were one of my first d-blogs, finding you through the old dLife site, and you finding me through TuDiabetes (which again, I’ve fallen off of, not figuring out how to maintain a voice after it left Ning).

    I’m still seeing name issues for you; @boltyboy tweeted a final SUM post from “Kerri Morton Sparling”…

    For me, I’ve so many voices competing for space and time, and too little time to pay attention to all of them. I can write, or I can do, and sometimes I’ve not the time for either 🙁 But you know the story – it’s everyone’s story, especially every woman’s story…

  42. Thank you. I will miss your writing, your stories, your humor, your family, and how connected I’ve felt to you since I started reading your blog many, many years ago.
    Thank you. I love you too.

  43. Oh goodness, Kerri, so many emotions. I remember coming to your blog when I felt desperate, and leaving feeling comforted. I came when I was sad, and left feeling reassured. I also came when I was fine, and left with a belly full of emotions (the doll named Caroline and the one with all the anonymous comments).
    When I was trying to decide whether or not to ‘risk’ having children, twice you gave me advice which stayed with me. When I started a blog, which was only read by my mother, you still asked questions which made it feel important.
    I know this won’t be ‘it’ for our friendship, but somehow it still feels like you are moving to another place. Ridiculous considering we don’t even live on the same continent.
    I still have a gift for you here I need to send, but I wanted to say thank you for the gift you gave me (us). Actually the many gifts. Confidence, community, belonging, and a whole load of beautiful writing. Writing which to this day no-one else has managed emulate.
    Thank you, Kerri, and I love you too.

    Anna

  44. Michelle Carlson

    Today is my son’s diaversary. 11 years ago at the age of 10 my son was dx’d With T1. I have enjoyed your blog so much over the years. Especially in the beginning you were a true lifeline. Thank you for sharing so much of your life with us. I wish you every success in whatever you do from here on out. And I wish you and your lovely family much happiness! ❤️

  45. Thank you so much for chronicling your marriage and pregnancy and how diabetes came into play (and how it didn’t). I’m only a few years younger than you and was able to read it when I was just starting to look forward to such things. Thank you for sharing.

  46. Thanks so much for giving voice to so much….
    Having T1D means not having to explain a lot to another T1D. But sometimes, we don’t know what we think or feel. Having someone think it out, or just react, helps.
    We are many. We are 1.
    And we are so much more….
    Kerri – You rock….

  47. Almost 50 years with Type I and this is the first online resource I’ve found and used (other than my pump and CGM companies). Thank you for making it a worthwhile addition to my life! I’ve enjoyed it and found it useful. I will miss hearing your voice. Best wishes for all the new roads you may travel!

  48. carolyn sansevere

    Thank you Kerri. I started reading your blog 9 years ago after attending friends for life with my 14 year old daughter who now has had type 1 for 10 years . You helped her when her skin rashes developed and have helped me cope through the years . I will miss your blog but look forward to seeing what you do next for the type 1 community! We enjoyed your book and hope to read another one some day soon!
    Best of luck and Stay healthy until a cure is found!

  49. Best wishes for your next adventure! So thankful for timely topics for T1D and great stories. I felt so blessed that I found your blog posts and could share to my daughter (T1D) so many times when she’s going through some tough times. Thank you so much!

  50. Hi Kerri,
    Thanks for all the wonderful years of sixuntilme,
    I will miss your amazing writing and sassy humor,
    so many times I read your blog and think ‘Me too!’
    Your ability to inject humor (and poetry) into the ever evolving challenges of type one is has made me giggle many a time
    Best wishes for your next chapter
    Kylie xx

  51. Cuttin’ out on Star Wars Day, huh? May the Fourth be with you my Islet-Cell Challenged Friend. You will be missed. Like Obi-Wan.

  52. I’m not sure if I’ve commented on any of your posts – but I’ve been reading them for years when I was a younger T1 and before our middle child’s diagnosis). I have been grateful for all you’ve been willing to share and I’ll miss this voice being a part of our regular community activities. Everyone and everything changes with time, and I look forward to seeing what comes next.

    Wishing you the best of health, happiness, and prosperity,

    Cheers,

    Aron

  53. Bernard Farrell

    Thanks Kerri for all you’ve done in the initially nascent DOC and beyond. I hope you have a fun summer and look forward to following your goings-on via social media and maybe, just maybe, in person if I get down to RI. Love you lots.

  54. Oh gosh. what to say? This blog has meant a lot to me. Yes, new adventures are good but it will be weird not to be able to log on and say to myself “how did she know to write about this right now when the same thing or similar just happened to me???”

    All best wishes to you!!

  55. Love you lady! Thank you for your book and blog posts! You’ve reached out to so many! We all love you! Blessings to you always!

    Love,
    Tiff from Twitter @TiffsterM

  56. I can’t believe its been that long that I’ve been reading your blog. I can say that I will miss your thoughts. I wish you well in your future. When one door closes another opens. Love? Yes I guess in a way I do love you! Hugs

  57. Thank you for being you.
    Thank you for making the d stuff fun sometimes.
    Thank you for welcoming everyone/anyone who needed support.
    Thank you for – well, everything.
    Most of all – thank you for being the first comment when I began my own blog. You’ve always, always taken the time to encourage the rest of us.
    Thank you for being amazing.
    PS – thank you for introducing all of us to each other.
    Love, Colleen in NH but moving to Virginia.

  58. Thank you for all these years. I’ve been following along for 13 years; I found you when we first entered diabetes world when my teen son was diagnosed. You helped me understand living with diabetes which helped me parent.
    Good luck in your future endeavors.

  59. So odd that I randomly visited your site today. I found you fourteen years ago just after my son was diagnosed in April of 2005. It’s as if you were destined to help me through. I occasionally would visit your site but that dwindled over time. I randomly came upon your site today to see this would be your last post last week.

    You helped me through some of the most difficult times and made me smile more times than that. I wish you the best as life takes you to new endeavors.

  60. It’s been a pleasure to read, understand and relate to all you have written. It was only in recent years that I searched online to connect with others who were living with diabetes and I found out that I was not alone. Thank you for the support, it pointed me in the right direction and I have never looked back

  61. Wow… Thank you Keri for all you have done. I found your blog when I was first diagnosed as a T1 and it certainly helped me alot. Wishing you the very best as you pursue other avenues and adventures.

  62. Kerri,
    Thank you for being the voice my now 20 y.o. daughter needed to hear so many times. Your words have provided guidance, strength, love, laughter and common sense through an often times difficult journey. Thank you again and best wishes in your new adventure(s)!
    Jill

  63. Be forewarned, questionable poetry does follow.

    I revere all posts made to this grand site
    For exposing the magnanimity of diabeter’s(not a word but it rhymes)
    We all tow the wagon upon waking each morning
    Assessing our push, pull, and tugs vs the meter
    We strive to excel, where ever we delve
    And are thankful to Kerri, the greeter.

  64. Thank you for everything you put up there over the last years. It gave a lot.

    I think I’ve said it before, but just to be sure: You will be missed. Seeing how much I’m goining to miss you tells me that I probably love you too. I might have to join one of the other social media options after all, just to get a glimpse of you somewhere every now and then.

  65. Thanks so much for your honesty, vulnerability, and strength, Kerri, and for being so courageous as to document it all.

    All of us are just trying to find our world through our T1D skewed world as best we can. You showed us it can be done and well, but that we can also help others in our community along the way, our family.

    You were the first to reach out to us at the Dads and Diabetes podcast literally an episode after we launched! You encouraged and promoted us, and our interview on your blog remains one of the highlights of our journey to date. Please let us know when you are ready to launch your new projects; it would be our pleasure to have you on the show to talk about them.

    We can’t wait to see what you have for us next!

    Mark & Alan
    Dads and Diabetes podcast

  66. Thank you. Yours was one of the first resources I found after my daughter was diagnosed. It gave me so much hope to hear your words as a parent. Six years on from that, my daughter is graduating high school and is ready for college. The wonderful mess that we all get to be, regardless of pancreas status is somehow the point.

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