(Seems appropriate to write about the flurry of resolution and organizational ideas in my head as a frigging blizzard mows through the Northeast. There’s over 14 inches of snow outside. The cats remain a combination of unsettled and putting on their cat snow gear to go sledding.)
The new year turned while I was dealing with a freak eyeball injury, so once that healed, I felt liberated. HEY I CAN SEE and also, I am grateful I can see, so shouldn’t I buckle down and channel some of that gratefulness into productivity?
The answer is yes. As the political climate (and actual climate) continues to churn, I need to keep active or I’ll settle into a bad mental state.
So, for the first time in several years, I started making resolutions.
ORGANIZE. I’d like to minimize distractions and actually get things done. This has been my biggest problem since having my son and needing to work employment around parenting two kids. Working from home is an amazing opportunity and I am so grateful for the chance to be with my kids and also to have a flexible schedule. Full stop there. But maintaining a sense of structure to my day is my biggest challenge. I am lucky to have multiple clients and a busy freelance calendar, and I need to train my brain to focus (read: tackle a short, effective to do list without being sidelined by housework, phone calls, and family needs) so that I can do my job in order to continue to have a job. (And if you have advice on ways to get organized, I’m all ears.)
RECLAIM. When I was away last week and my eye was injured, I’ll admit to sliding into a pity party about my broken body. It was not my best moment. The list of things that weren’t physically working wrongfully seemed to outnumber the ones that were, and I was feeling really down about my body’s inability to function at a decent level. Wah, wah, waaaaaah.
But my body is not broken; it just needs some attention. No need to take me apart … yet. I have a bad habit of putting my self-care last on a long list of family needs, and that has to change immediately. I need to reclaim my body, because it needs some service. A tune up, but not just an oil change. I need some detailing. Small changes will make a big difference. My eyeball is healed now and hell yes I ordered non-prescription glasses to serve as mom goggles (“moggles,” as my friend called them) in order to help prevent further injuries from my son’s quick and curious hands. I am in physical therapy for an issue with my abdomen that has been nagging at me since my son was born. Frustrations I’ve had with my body aren’t going to be mitigated without hard work, and I need to make that hard work as routine as checking my email. (Oooh, I should answer more emails, too. Add that to the organize point up there.) And after an endo visit this morning (not my best work), I see that diabetes management needs to become a higher priority if I want to see results that make me feel proud.
I’m not the type to set crazy ass goals like “workout 10 times a week!” or “check my blood sugar every time I blink!” at the outset of a new year, but I am the type to be realistic. More on realistic goals next week, but for now, I’m looking at my health as a work in progress instead of feeling defeated. Hopefully the defeatedly feeling stays out of the picture.
FORGIVE. I won’t bail on these resolutions, but they won’t be simple to maintain throughout the year. They’ll require work. And will be annoying at times. Slipping up might require forgiveness and then pushing through, but I can do that.
I will realize a bigger goal: I’d like to be an ancient bird, annoying my children well into their old age. Accomplishing that will be hard work, but damn, I’m good for it.