Whoa – this was the longest unintentional blog break I’ve taken in ages. Maybe ever. And it’s not like I didn’t have diabetes-related things to say or conversations I wanted to contribute to.
I just didn’t feel like writing. Which is weird. I usually feel like writing.
After the Target low, I was on break with my family for a while, and then in Dallas for a TypeOneNation event. I took a short pump break. I saw some PWD in the wild while traveling and the urge to hug them was unrelenting. I read a bunch of crap about “diabetes in a cup” and had that desire to climb on a soapbox clutching a unicorn frappuccino in one hand (but not taking a drink of it ever because my insulin has better things to unpack and also I keep picturing a liquified unicorn, which grossed me out further). I read a blog post and watched our community react to it. And I saw a bunch of angry Tweets and uncomfortable people and hurt feelings and just so much stress.
Oh, never mind the fact that I open the CNN homepage whilst looking through my fingers because there’s always some new yick storm.
I needed a breather.
So I guess I pulled back for a while. We celebrated Birdy’s seventh birthday as she crossed that threshold into an age that I remember (I totally remember second grade and my friends back then and riding my bike in the neighborhood and reading books and all that stuff – I have some clear and vivid memories of seven. I was also diagnosed with diabetes that year, so I keep looking at her through that lens, wondering if I appeared simultaneously so big and so little to my own mother.) We traveled without the Guy for the first time and it was kind of stressful for me, being away from my smallest little, but made me grateful for my mom and stepfather once again, how they are always willing and thankfully able to mind my kid(s).
… oh, and I am the last person on the planet to learn that if you are typing a text message on an iPhone and you turn the phone sideways, you can create a handwritten text message. THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE THING and I am madly in love with this feature. I have sent several ragtag cats, two ten gallon hats, a pair of jeans, a plane that looked more like a shark, a bunch of grapes, and boobs to unfortunate recipients. Anyone in my contact list is at risk of receiving nonsense and I AM NOT SORRY.
After a few days, I felt a little clearer. I cracked open my email and confirmed calls for the coming week, met deadlines that were looming, and created a document titled “Shit to Write About” with bulleted ideas of shit to write about. We paid our taxes. The tulips bursted up in the front lawn and they look like an army of happy. I felt a little bit productive, not so drowning in diabetes, and kind of ready to open a “New Post” tab on my blog platform.
So I did. And here I am. And here it is.
It was nice to work a little bit on a non-diabetes writing project I’ve been tooling around with. I liked sending the plane shark. I really enjoyed dealing with diabetes as a stand alone thing instead of repeatedly documenting it. Diabetes is all day and sometimes it needs to be tabled as a content source, with “shit to write about” waiting until I feel ready.
Which now I do.