Not a cook. Nope, not me. Which is why this recipe for cauliflower rice was so useful, because it requires little thought, little cooking, and very little insulin.
- Buy a head of cauliflower. Become friends with it. And then rip it into small sections, keeping hold of mostly the florets (the tops of the trees, in Bird terms) and discard the stiffer stems.
- Rinse the florets. Dry them.
- Put them in a bowl and mix with a little bit of olive oil and salt, to taste. Also add garlic, if you’re gross. (We’re gross.)
- Take a food processor, if you’re one of those fancy people who has a food processor, and pulse the florets for 20 – 30 seconds in order to reduce them down to the teeny rice sized bits. If you’re not the fancy type who has a food processor, take the blender and use that. And if you’re full analog, grab a giant cheese grater and grate the florets. (This last option will take a long time and you may be adding finger to your rice, so choose wisely.)
- Fluff the “rice” with a fork and put into a bowl.
- Take a picture of the bowl and realize it doesn’t photograph well, but put it on Instagram anyway.
- Realize the whole process took four minutes and high five yourself for making such a healthy thing in minimal minutes.
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At our house, we used the cauliflower rice as a base for our eggplant parmesan, replacing the pasta. I won’t lie and say it tastes just like pasta, but I won’t lie and say it caused a wildly high blood sugar, either. We had eggplant parmesan that required 1.8u of insulin to cover it (mostly for the pasta sauce carbs).
Most recipes online that I saw clocked the cauliflower rice in at 5 grams of carbs per cup, so that’s the ratio I used to calculate my insulin doses. Which means I did not bolus at all for it, since I only had a half a cup and my I:C is 1:12.
WARNING: If you put it in your fridge overnight, even if it is in a tightly-sealed tupperware container, your whole fridge will smell like gas. And not the “runs my car” sort of gas. Beware.