There’s a little boy who lives in my house now and he seems to likes us. He likes his big sister and he likes his mom and dad and he likes the cats. He likes socks. And fluffy blankets when we go on walks. And he loves taking naps while the sun shines through the living room windows.
What he doesn’t like is sleeping during the night. He fucking hates that.
As a result, we are not sleeping at night, either. The dance of feed/change/snuggle/attempt sleep/feed/change/snuggle is endless throughout the night, making the baggage under my eyes significant and the days are starting to blend together into one, big diaper change. My mind is on a sad circuit of this monkey:
But this is a diabetes blog. So how’s the diabetes stuff going? There might not be sleep, but is the brain responding to diabetes related requests?
Shit, the same gif. That’s not optimal.
Diabetes is still there. I still have it. It didn’t “go away after I had the baby.” And sometimes, throughout the day, I have myself fooled into thinking I’m on top of things.
But I’m sort of not.
Stuff I’m not on top of:
Blood sugar checks are not happening as often as they were, or as they should be. I’m checking my fasting blood sugar (making a point to do it immediately upon waking, because once I’m out of bed, I space out), but that’s sometimes it until after lunch time. Not optimal once again.
Exercise is also not happening, but that’s because I’m still under the lock-and-key of the c-section. My six week follow up is in two weeks and I’m hoping to be cleared for exercise, etc. but until then, I’m doing slow walks around the neighborhood with the tomato in the stroller and hoping my scar doesn’t rip open and all my guts spill out. (This is a mental image I have with frightening regularity.)
Food remains a challenge, as well. Weirdly enough, I’m having trouble eating enough these days (a stark contrast to my delight at eating too much a few weeks ago) and my spotty food intake is making breastfeeding a little bit of a challenge. (As in, I produce less on days that I consume fewer calories. It’s a frustrating tell.) I am trying to make more grabby, healthy snacks (see also: balls) so I’m able to eat on the fly without too much effort.
But this will all come with time. Or so the mystics tell me.
Hey, but there is stuff I’m still on top of:
I’m still using the Dexcom every day,and that data is keeping me informed on how SWAG-gy my boluses have been. My graphs have been all over the place, but I chalk that up to hormones re-balancing after giving birth, insulin:carb ratios being tweaked for postpartum needs, and a sleep schedule that is abysmal.
I’m also on top of my doctor’s appointments. As I mentioned a few days ago, I’m building a hyper-local care team from the ground up and I’ve been on the ball about finding doctors, scheduling appointments, and working to flesh out the team. So far, so good.
And I’m staying on top of what my kids need. Laundry is all clean (granted, not folded and put away, but all clean and a lovely, sorted mountain of clean it is!). I have a steady flow of breastmilk being stashed in the freezer (in anticipation of upcoming travel, Grammie visits, and overnight feedings that Chris handles). The Bird is being shuttled to friends’ houses and soccer practice and school without missing a beat. My son is fed, diapered, and hugged a bunch, and is a very laid-back (albeit nocturnal) baby. I might have only JUST NOW sat down to answer emails and work today, but my frigging KIDS are managed, so I’m calling today a mangled version of success.
Soon – SOON?! – we will be reunited with sleep. Just in time for the time (and lancet) change.