If I were ever Gretel, finding home would be a snap
A trail of bloody test strips mark my way across a map.
If I were ever Batman and in need of a grappling hook,
The most-used lancet in my bag would do the trick to catch the crook.
If I were ever Superman, and lows my kryptonite,
A jar of cherry Glucolift would save me from my plight.
If I were ever Katniss, my District would go “Whoa,”
Because The Hunger Games have nothing on a meter reading “LOW.”
If I were ever Mario, I’d find all my 1 Ups
At the bottom of a juicebox or a kid’s juice sippy cup.
If I were ever Vader, I’d embrace the ol’ Dark Side
Because in robes like that it’s easy to make my Dexcom sensor hide.
If I were ever Walter White, I’d wear diabetic socks
So only my feet would have the ‘betes while I’d be the one who knocks.
If I were ever Pinkie Pie, there’d be lows and I’d be in it
Because that little tweaky pony can’t sit still for a hot minute.
If I were ever Legolas, and had a midnight hypo fright,
I’d wake up with food in my bed. “Crumbs have been spilled this night.”
If I were ever Aquaman, I’d still workout in ocean gyms
Because my insulin pump is waterproof, and still works while I swim.
If I were ever Dumbledore, I’d be at peace with D
Because it matters not my pancreas, but “what I grow to be.”