Dear Shoes,

It’s been a while since I dropped you a line, and I’m thankful for that fact – mainly because I’m not living anywhere near you and your clompy-heels-on-the-hardwood-floors.  It’s not that I don’t miss you, but more that I’m really enjoying sleeping through the night now, before Miss BSparl arrives and changes that whole dynamic.

Oh Shoes, you and I have quite a history.  Three and a half years of memories.  Do you miss me as much as I miss you?  Did you know that I actually wanted to get a broom and bang it against the ceiling when you were playing with DogShoes or hollering at BoyfriendShoes, banishing him to sleep underneath the mailboxes?  I never did these things, Shoes, because I’m not an 80 year old wizened woman, but still, my internal wizened woman thought about it.

The new place is very nice, and no one lives above Chris and I, except for the bright blue sky and the clouds.

Le Ceiling Gnomes

Oh, and the ceiling gnomes.

We live near some open fields, and there are all these geese that hang out there, smoking cloves and making out.  They toddle around and ultimately end up on the roof, where they sleep for a few hours and then run like hell for the edge of the building, taking off into the sky. 

But from my apartment, it sounds like we live beneath a commune of ceiling gnomes that scamper back and forth throughout the day, most often in the morning when the sun is shining brightest.

The cats aren’t sure how to handle these critters.  When the pitter patter of gnomey feet starts progressing across the rooftop in a hurry, the cats all stop DEAD whatever they’re doing and they turn their furry faces to the ceiling, bewildered.  

“What IS that?”  Siah breathes as she scurries across the floor, trying in vain to follow in the footsteps of the ceiling gnomes.  

Shoes, it’s the weirdest thing ever.  The little clicking footsteps, and then NOTHING.  Silence, once the geese take off, leaving the cats unsure of what to do next, other than stare frantically at the ceiling.

But it’s funny.  And it entertains me endlessly, especially when all three cats stop and stare in perfectly synchronized motions.  And I find it oddly calming, that I live beneath ceiling gnomes instead of your high heels.

Kisses to you, my Shoesy.  Hope you’re well, and torturing the new tenants.

Love,
Kerri. 

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