The phone rang. Note that said phones are suspended in mid-air, as hands are unnecessary in my dream world.
Larry Bird: Hey Kerri. It’s me.
Kerri: Hi, Larry. I haven’t heard from you in a while. What’s up?
LB: You’ve still been going to the gym, right?
Kerri: Yeah. But it’s been tough lately. There’s been some stressful issues with work and I’m getting really bored with my workout…
LB: (laughing in that deep, Larry Bird voice) Have you hit your 33 minutes of cardio per day? That’s the only way you’re going to make it on the Dream Team, you know.
Kerri: I definitely hit the 33. At least 5 days a week, oftentimes six. But I’m burnt out, Larry. I am sort of dragging myself to the gym lately. And the weather has been so nice … I don’t want to work out in that Gathering Of Large Dudes [note the capitalized letters] much lately.
LB: (in a very reassuring tone) Kerri, you don’t have to go to the gym every day. Go walking outside. Or you could play tennis. I know you’re horrible at it, but you like it and you have to run all over the place chasing the balls you miss…
Kerri: Are you thinking about the time…
LB: (deep chuckle, reminding me of the quiver of the net after he sinks a shot) Yeah, that time you and I played doubles with those two old men and they mopped the court with us?
Kerri: I remember that! It almost got as violent as like when you and Dr. J. got into that “exchange” on November 9, 1984. Remember when the benches cleared for that one?
LB: (after a few seconds of silence) I was fined $7,500 for that.
Kerri: Oh, that’s right. That sucks.
LB: Well, I just wanted to check in with you and let you know that you’re doing a good job of keeping up with your exercise routine, even though you aren’t excited about it at the moment. Staying motivated is hard. Seriously, give the tennis a thought. And maybe you could go run around outside instead of in the gym.
Kerri: Good though, Larry. I know I can always count on you to reignite my exercise motivation.
LB: Anytime. Keep practicing that jump shot, kiddo.
Kerri: Will do.