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“Generation D” on dLife

So it’s about the daily life of a twentysomething living with diabetes. The whole bit about dating and sex. Telling your coworkers about diabetes. Going out and enjoying a few martinis while maintaining your bloodsugars. Driving safely. Working out at the gym. Going on a cruise. Letting nothing stop you.

Living life.

It’s called “Generation D” and it’s a recent addition to the “Daily Living” columns on the dLife website.

And it’s my column.

It would be an honor to have my much appreciated Faithful Readers take a stroll over to dLife and have a read at the new column. Let me know what you think!

 

Six Thoughts.

1. I tell them to protect myself. With my insulin sensitivity and fluctuating stress levels constantly affecting my bloodsugar levels, coupled with the tighter control I’ve achieved over the last three years, my levels can plummet without much notice. One minute I’m drafting a letter to send to a client with ease and the next moment has me struggling to navigate my fingers on the computer keyboard, a fog settling around my ears and that tiny flicker of unregistered panic in my stomach. It happened so fast this morning that I barely had the wherewithal to tap on the desk of the woman who sits behind me and ask for help.

“Can you please go buy me some juice? I need it in a hurry.”

No questions asked. She was gone and returned in barely a moment. She even brought me a straw.

“Do you need me to sit with you?”

I shook my head as I downed my eight. And she went back to her desk, occasionally leaning forward to check and see if I was okay.

After 15 minutes, I was safe again.

I tell people because their knowing keeps me safe.

2. I made banana cake and it was delicious. Chris’s grandmother ate a piece and agreed.

3. Once in a while, I find myself wondering what it would be like to set fire to all the insurance papers on my desk and, as the flames lick towards the ceiling and people are scattering in bewilderment, I sneak out, never to return. Obviously I would never follow through on this. But that fantasy is often replaced by the one where Chris and I are living in a terrifically posh NYC apartment, with a stainless steel freezer stocked with Hoodsie Cups and royalty checks coming in the post by the pound.

4. My father once told me that I had a gift with words and that, in the moments that people often forget about, I am able to find beauty. He wrote that on a post it note and stuck it to a college paper he had stumbled across while cleaning the house. When I’m at home and trying to find words for my book, I often think of that yellow sticky note. I hope I make him proud.

5. Chris has taken to calling the little cat “Siah Sausage.” I don’t want the cat to be called Sausage. I told him this. Yet he continues to call her Sausage. And this morning, damn it, I called her Siah Sausage.

6. The pictures on Dee’s and Kassie’s websites over the last two days brightened up my otherwise monotonous day at work.

Consider my day: made.

The Xanax Experience.

Tonight is the test run of Kerri’s Xanax Experience.

Because I’m so anxious about taking an anti-anxiety pill that I have to test it before the flight. That’s normal. But the questions run rampant in my mind. What will happen to my bloodsugars? Will I fall asleep? Will I be able to function at all after downing this pill? Will I become a babbling, silly fool? Will I become intolerable and prone to crying fits? Will I be so pleased that I offer to fly the plane myself? Will it make my stomach upset? Will one pill be enough to calm my fear of flying? Will …

Oh just take the pill and shut up already.

And get ready for a happy, happy flight.

Oooh, and on another note, I am attempting to compile a “Dictionary of Diabetes Terms, Unabridged Morrone Edition 2006.” I’m looking for those terms we come up with as a diabetic community, like Rage Bolusing, Panic Eating … Wil, I’m looking for you in particular! If you have any terms that you employ in describing your diabetes or methods of treatment, offer them up. It’ll be a “Sniglets” for diabetics, of sorts.

UPDATE: The Xanax is just dandy. Everything is just dandy. Seems like two will be the magic number for the flight. The plan is to dose up for the flight down there and not have to bother with any medication on the way back. But I’m here, two hours into the Xanax, feeling very calm and serene and no bloodsugar fluctuations and I’m still able to test and apparently update the blog. However, I have no desire to take something like this all the time. I feel too mellow, which is so terribly un-Kerri of me. 

Mission Accomplished. Bring on the cruise!

UPDATE TWO: Jen, who had de-lurked herself today in a comment, has a new diabetes blog called “17 Going on 50?” Go on over and check her out. She’s a college freshman with a very honest and no holds barred approach to her diabetes.

I Heart Insurance.

My diabetes supplies are everywhere.

Pump caps adorn every stationary surface. Sometimes the cats trot off with them in their mouth and then play versions of Cat Hockey on the kitchen floor. Stray testing strips litter the floor of my apartment, my desk at work, and my boyfriend’s car. Once he woke up with one stuck to his face from my 3 am testing.

I gently peeled it off and threw it away before he could notice.

The bathroom cabinet, purchased exclusively to house diabetes supplies, holds no less than $6,000 worth of goods. There are several boxes of infusion sets, pump reservoirs, IV prep wipes, and countless blood meter test strips. Two Quick-Serters for the infusion sets are wedged in between boxes of infusion sets. I have a One Touch Ultra Smart meter that I use everyday, but there are three back up meters stored in the cabinet. There are also back up boxes of strips, each test strip costing about a dollar. Lancets are everywhere. The crappy meter that came with my Paradigm 512 pump is thrown in there, too. A stash of AAA batteries for the pump and AA for the meter lie on the second shelf. Also, my old Humalog 1.5 pen (which I had run over twice with my old car and it survived to tell the tale) and the accompanying needle tips are hiding in the cabinet, too. And boxes upon boxes of short needle syringes are lying in wait for those moments when the pump fails me.

Oh, and lest we forget the abundance of the coveted glucose tabs.

I used to take stock of my supplies and not think about their monetary value. I was covered by my parents’ health insurance and they picked up the balance of anything owed. Then, all of a sudden, I graduated college and the burden of health insurance was mine to bear. That was 2001.

Since that May, I’ve worked in the following fields: Banking, car repair (admittedly random, yes), arbitration, and insurance.

Out of those employment opportunities, I’ve found satisfaction in: None.

What I would actually like to involve myself in doesn’t appear to be able to finance my diabetes habit. Anything in the realm of publishing, freelancing, PR, and marketing either isn’t available in my immediate area of RI or doesn’t offer medical insurance. I oftentimes find myself bored and miserable at work because the job does nothing to stimulate my synapses, but I won’t up and quit because I can’t afford my medical supplies without insurance.

Cyclical indeed.

Couple that cycle with the fact that my current insurance sports an obscene deductible before they’ll kick in and I’m working at a job I despise to pay for a disease I don’t particularly want. And since my entry into the work force four years ago, medical insurance costs more and covers less.

I sense a frightening trend that I fear could affect my ability to provide the supplies necessary for my disease.

Today’s Pity Party is sponsored by Kerri’s Boring Job and the daunting insurance bill waiting to be paid on her desk at home.

Good thing I have Eddie Izzard to lift my spirits.

Good Morning, Diabetic Feed!

I had the pleasure of speaking with Christel Marchand last week, host of the brilliant Diabetic Feed, about my blog, the book, and the general chaos associated with my being diabetic. Diabetic Feed broadcasts weekly installments of information regarding diabetes, proudly stating “We’re dedicated to bringing you the latest news, information, and people who impact the diabetic community.” Christel hosts the program while John Aprigliano produces. My interview is part of Broadcast # 24 for Diabetic Feed and marks the beginning of my contributions to their team.

So you can hear my voice, albeit altered by the popping of the audio to the point where I sound like I have a stuttering problem, if you download this week’s broadcast. And yes, Faithful Readers, you should download this podcast every week. Aside from being informative and very supportive of the diabetic community, the music is pretty cool, too.

To confirm: No, I don’t have a stuttering problem.

But yes, I do talk that fast.

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