Holy December - I can't believe it's the end of the year already!  Holiday chaos reigns supreme, starting with this past weekend's Thanksgiving holiday and stemming straight into New Year's.  Since I've been wearing the Dexcom pretty regularly (approximately five or six days in a row, then a day or two off), I realized how awesome it is to have that little thing attached during holidays like Thanksgiving. 

I slapped on the new sensor last week and it stayed pretty solid until last night, when the adhesive was peeling too much for me to handle.  (It gets itchy once it starts to peel, and that makes me craaaazy.)  

This is the sensor after six days of changing clothes, working out, spending hours in the car, wool sweaters, multiple showers, and the general wear and tear that I put my body through in the course of a week.  The sensor is still attached, but the gauze around it isn't in good shape.  So I decided to pull the site and reapply it this afternoon.  Dexcom discard.  I'm freewheeling without the Dexcom at the moment.

The graphic on the Dexcom receiver that indicates ending a sensor run makes me laugh every time.  The little guy tosses off his sensor with reckless abandon into the garbage can.  Then it asks me, "Okay?"  Okay, let's throw the whole thing out.  (Note:  You don't throw the whole thing out.  You remove the EXPENSIVE transmitter first, then throw out the sensor housing.)

This past sensor was a bit of a needy one - it didn't want me to shower, apparently, because it kept throwing the "???" at me (meaning it's "confused" and needs a few minutes to catch up) every time I was in the shower.  It also wasn't as tolerant as usual when it came to distance, so instead of keeping it on my bedside table or on the back of the headboard, I had to tuck it under my pillow.   Maybe wearing the site on my lower back instead of my arm caused the difference in transmission - I'll have to see if it happens next time.

Watching my numbers closely for the holiday really helped out a lot.  I saw that a glass of white wine on an empty stomach actually made my blood sugar spike almost instantly.  I also saw that lemon meringue pie (de-li-cious) didn't do much after 15 minutes, but the 40 minute mark showed a real intense spike.  Insulin?  Yeah, it takes at least 35 minutes to impact my blood sugars, but knowing that made me more precise in when I bolused.  The result?  Elevated blood sugars during Thanksgiving (avg. about 195 mg/dl) but I didn't hit the wicked highs, and once I was high, I wasn't stuck there for hours.

Thanksgiving has come and gone, but I'm thankful to have another effective tool in dealing with diabetes.  Now it's time to get to the damn gym and work off that pie. 

Posted by Kerri Morrone Sparling at 01:07 PM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

Oh, the food meme.  And what better day to post this than the day after Thanksgiving, when we're all recovering from the non-stop indulgences?  (Also, what NabloPoMo is complete without a few memes tossed in for good measure?)  Stolen from Lee Ann, here are my answers:

1. Can you cook? If yes, do you like to cook?
I can barely cook, but there are moments when I make attempts.  And I halfway enjoy these moments, when the food doesn't burn.

2. When do you eat with your whole family?
Chris and I eat together all the time.  But my whole family?  Like the whole mess of them?  Big holidays only, unfortunately.  We live far away.

3. What do you eat for breakfast?
Greek yogurt, a protein bar, or oatmeal.  But always, always coffee.

4. When, where and how do you eat on weekdays?
I eat predictably on weekdays, usually having breakfast at work (at my desk), lunch at home (sometimes joined by a cat), and dinner either home with my husband or out.  How do I eat?  I eat with my face.  what kind of question is that?

5. How often do you eat out (in a restaurant)?
We love to dine out - it's tops on list of fun things to do.  We used to go out four or five days a week, but with the economy tanking, we're down to only about two times - including our Sunday breakfast ritual when we're in CT for the weekend.  :)

6. How often do you order delivery/take-out?
Very rarely - maybe once a month, if that?

7. Regarding no. 5 and 6: Say there weren’t financial reasons would you do this more often?
Like I mentioned before, we love, love dining out.  If we were rich, we'd do it every night.

8. Are there any “standard dishes” you serve regularly?
The green ones.  I like the green dishes best.  ;)

Unfortunately, I am not a talented cook so I do not have a standard dish.  I can make chicken salad, excellent minestrone and lentil soup, and eggs any way you like 'em, but that's about it.  Above and beyond that, we dine out.  

9. Have you ever cooked for more than 6 persons?
Yes, I hosted Thanksgiving dinner a few years ago with my then-boyfriend.  He was a good cook.  I ... I encouraged him.

10. Do you cook every day?
No.  But I eat every day.  I'm still trying to figure out how I accomplish one without the other.

11. Have you ever tried recipes from blogs?
Yes.  The internet saves me on a regular basis.

12. Who cooks more frequently at your home?
My husband, because he is actually good at it.

13. And who cooks better?
See above.  But I'd also venture to guess that Siah is a better cook than me.

14. Do you cook totally different compared to your mother/parents?
Yes.  My mother cooked.  I do not.  

15. If yes, do you nevertheless eat at your parents?
I like my mom's cooking.  And my dad is a good restaurant date.  And I like hanging out with them, so sure.

16. Are you a vegetarian or could you imagine being one?
I'm not a vegetarian, but I believe I could give it a whirl for a few weeks.  I know I would miss chicken, though.  But I like a good veggie burger now and again, so maybe.

17. What would you like to cook which you haven’t dared to make yet?
I'd like to make a meal that doesn't taste bland.  And I've dared to do it, but I just haven't really accomplished that goal yet, persay.  :)

18. Do you prefer cooking or baking?
I can't cook, but I can bake.  I can make awesome flourless chocolate cake, banana bread, cheesecake, popovers, brownies, cookies, cakes ... basically, anything I "shouldn't" eat, I can make with precision and prowess.  Cruel irony.

19. What is your greatest misery in the kitchen?
That the dishes are never really done.

20. What do you dislike?
I don't like seafood (except New England clam chowdah).  And I don't like eating anything gamey.  I also despise curry.  And I also dislike war, economic crisis, and anything with more than four legs.

Need a meme to help round out your NaBloPoMo?  Grab this one!

Posted by Kerri Morrone Sparling at 12:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

Over the summer, Chris and I spent a weekend in Acadia National Park in Maine.  While we were there, we had tea and popovers at the Jordan Pond tea house.  Chris was very emotional about these popovers - "These are awesome!  Awesome!" - and hell-bent on bringing them to our families for Thanksgiving.

Well guess what?  We didn't remember in time to order the batter.  So we had to make them at home from scratch.

Oh how I love a baking challenge.  They're the only ones I can attempt! 

Following these instructions on the King Arthur Flour site, I made a few dozen popovers using just a few ingredients:  eggs, salt, flour, butter, and milk.  The result was a basketful of fluffy, light popovers that steamed when we opened them.  Awesome.

Here's the full recipe I used, from the King Arthur site (popovers from the Round Table, it seems).  The directions are mine, which means they are a bit tanged:

    * 4 large eggs
    * 1 1/2 cups milk (skim, low-fat, or full-fat)
    * 1/2 teaspoon salt
    * 1 1/2 cups King Arthur Unbleached All-Purpose Flour
    * 3 tablespoons melted butter

1.  Preheat the oven to 450 degrees.  The heat of the oven is apparently KEY to making sure the popovers do their popover thing.  Put the oven rack on the lowest shelf so the popovers have room to expand.

2.  In a medium sized bowl, whisk together the eggs, milk, and the salt until everything is smoothly combined and you can't see the egg yolk streaks.

3.  Dump in all the flour at once and whisk just enough to have it combined, but not smooth.  Lumps help lift the popovers.  :)  Don't beat the batter or whisk it until it's completely combined - just mix it up.

4.  Stir in the butter, and then set the batter aside for 15 minutes.

5.  While you wait, grease up a standard 12 cup muffin tin and make sure the oven is preheated. 

6.  After the 15 minutes has passed and the oven is ready to go, give the batter a quick stir to recombine it and then fill the muffin cups to about 2/3 or 3/4 of the way full.  Put the pan on the lowest oven shelf and shut the oven door.

7.  Bake those suckers for 20 minutes, and resist the urge to open the door and ogle them.   After 20 minutes, turn the oven temperature down to 350 degrees and bake for an additional 10 - 15 minutes.  You want to make sure the popovers are swollen and are a nice golden brown.

(A tip from the website - to help the popovers hold their shape and refrain from collapsing, bake them for an extra five minutes if you can, without burning them.  This will cement them into shape.)

8.  Once they're done, take them out of the oven and eat one.  Seriously.  Throw some butter and strawberry preserves on them, or add some salt, or just chow one as is.  They're delicious.

I have no idea what the carb content is on these, but I know they're totally SWAG-worthy.  Try them out for your Thanksgiving feast!!  Or at midnight on a Tuesday.  Whatever.  :)

Posted by Kerri Morrone Sparling at 10:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (18) | TrackBacks (0)

I've had several emails about how to apply the Dexcom sensor (watch the video), how big is it (like two quarters side-by-side), does it hurt (not usually), does it automatically give insulin (no - that would mean it's a pancreas), does it need to be fed or watered (no), can it fly (yes - when I throw it), do I like it (yes).

I wanted to do an akward little instructional about how to apply a new Dexcom sensor to my lower back, and with Chris's help, I think we captured most of it.  It gets a little shaky in there when we're clipping in the transmitter to the sensor housing, but you get the gist.  Hopefully.  :)

As far as placement goes, I've worn it on the back of my arm, on my abdomen, and on my lower back.  My main issue is keeping that sucker STUCK to me for the full duration.  For those of you wearing a Dexcom, where are you sticking your sensors?  Any tips on new places?  

(Please forgive me for talking so damn fast on that video.  I forget that not everyone communicates at the same foolish warp speed as me.  I need to take a breath!) 

Posted by Kerri Morrone Sparling at 09:21 AM | Permalink | Comments (18) | TrackBacks (0)

Diabetes supplies used to be pretty damn tough.  And insulin storage was downright badass.

When I was in college, I was on injection therapy, taking Regular insulin and UltraLente.  Instead of my current insulin pump, I used orange capped syringes and old school insulin pens.  The insulin pens were awesome and made out of metal, making them almost bulletproof.  One afternoon, I was heading out with one of my roommates to go to class and I back up the car along the gravel driveway.  To feel a little bit of a buckle and a crunch.

"Oh for crying out loud," I muttered, wondering what I just ran over.  I opened the door, popped my head out, and rolled the car forward to reveal my insulin pen, crushed underneath the back wheel.

"Shit!  I killed the pen!"  I unbuckled and retrieved the pen from the driveway, expecting to pick up shards.

But the thing was perfectly intact, only a few scratches on from the gravel.  I was impressed.

Then there was "the blue case."  From the time I was a kid, I stored my insulin in this blue cool pack that was virtually indestructable.  It was a blue zipper case with a heavy cool pack in the middle that I'd store in the freezer at night and then stick in the bag for the duration of the following day.  This pack was dragged everywhere from the beach to school to sleep overs to the car for long road trips to airplanes to my first apartment.  And it withstood the test of time, refusing to succumb heat, cold, jostling, and being slammed in the trunk door by accident.  (I am an abusive insulin keeper, it seems.) 

Even though I've switched from injections to insulin pumping, I still have these diabetes relics from ancient times.  The blue case is under the bed somewhere, and that metal insulin pen is in the pen cup on my desk at home.  Saving these bits of diabetes memorabilia isn't just unique to my dLife - apparently, Jim Turner does it, too.

When he came to visit the office a few weeks back, he brought in this little pellet of a thing that stored his insulin vial.  "Protects it from being cracked if it falls or something." It was worn from several decades of use, but it still did its job.

I thought it was awesome.  It was like a beer cozy for insulin.  (Cozy?  Koozi?  Kangaroo?  I have no idea.)  I have only broken a bottle of insulin once, but of course it was the last one in my stash, thus creating chaos.  Anything that protects supplies, I am a fan of.

What kinds of tools from years gone by are you still hanging on to?    

Posted by Kerri Morrone Sparling at 12:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (16) | TrackBacks (0)

Six months ago, Chris and I got married.  (Holy crap, six months already?  I can't believe it's been that long!)  When I picked my gown, I spoke with the seamstress about creating a pocket for my insulin pump to hide in all day long.  And on my big day, my pump was safe and secure, and so was I.

Over the past few weeks, I received emails from other women who had just tied the knot.  These two different, wonderful, recently-married women also had their insulin pumps worked into their wedding day, like I did.  And they agreed to let me share their stories - and their gorgeous photos - here on SUM! 

Here is Lindsay:

"I've been a reader of your blog since this spring when I Googled 'insulin pump' and 'wedding dress' in the same thread.  Your site popped up and I was hooked.
 
I wanted to thank you for showing your readers pictures of the insulin pump pocket that your seamstress made for your wedding dress.  I, too, was wondering how I'd manage a pump in that corset-back dress with a very full skirt (and no way to access a thigh holster!)  Attached is what my seamstress came up with.
 
I was able to have my cake (and champagne) and eat it too, all while maintaining a 121 mg/dl throughout the wedding."

(The best part of this is that her best friend, Jenn, emailed me months ago about how her best friend is diabetic and is getting married.  She and I corresponded for a bit ... then Lindsay emailed me a few months later!  Small online world!)

And this Suzanne: 

Suzanne on her big day - with her big smile!

"I only bolused once during the whole reception.  It was one of those rare 'perfect diabetes days' - hovered between 85-110 mgdL all day!  I didn't have the cake & danced like crazy, so that probably had something to do with it.  :) 

Anyway, it was a grand day, but my husband and I marvel at how great every day since then has been.  We love being married!"

I love their pictures.  I love the look on their faces - gives me goosebumps!  Thank you so much, Linsday and Suzanne (and hi, Jenn!) for letting me share your stories and photos here.  There's no better way to end the week than by celebrating love and showing that diabetes doesn't stop anything - not even a beautiful bride on her big day.

Posted by Kerri Morrone Sparling at 09:34 AM | Permalink | Comments (12) | TrackBacks (0)

Wake up with a start as the alarm begins to blare,
Groggily come to and push aside my mussed-up hair.
Reach out to the nightstand and retrieve the zipper case,
Fumble with a strip and finally get the thing in place.
Lance my finger, squeeze a bit, and for five seconds wait,
Hear the beep, watch the screen, and see the "108."

Disconnect the pump with a quick and easy snap,
Grab that little plastic thing that I call a "pump cap."
Bring the Dexcom with me and connect it to the door
So I can shower, get all clean, and data will still store.

Towel dry - so careful, watching for the set and sensor,
Grab my robe and reconnect to the insulin dispenser.
Blow dry hair, drag a comb, and make attempts to dress,
Aim for outfits that conceal my pump with learned finesse.

Make my lunch and grab some snacks, minding carb-y grams -
Greek yogurt, green beans, protein bars - my morning snack grand slam.
Throw it all into my bag - I just have one more thing to add!
Toss in a tube of glucose tabs for all the lows this week I've had.

Snake the pump tube down my leg, tuck the pump inside
The trouser socks I love to wear - perfect for pump to hide.
Check the Dexcom to see for sure that I'm okay to drive,
Pet the cats, throw on my coat, and I'm out the door in five.

So much is diabetes, but it isn't my whole life.
I'm a daughter with type 1; I'm a diabetic wife.
It's in the fabric of my day, in the subconcious of my mind.
It explains so much of what I do, but I am not defined.

Posted by Kerri Morrone Sparling at 03:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

The last few days have been nothing short of annoying - and I have the blood sugar logs to prove it.  In this past week alone, I've had six low blood sugar episodes ringing in under 50 mg/dl.  The lows are intense, sneaky, and have me fumbling with my meter, my hands, my words. 

Hypoglycemic unawareness is very, very scary to me.  It's this weird mix of being proud that I can still function at a blood sugar of 31 mg/dl, but also frightening because I'm not feeling the symptoms of a low until my body has almost crashed.  Last night, as I was getting dressed to go to Chris's film event in the city, I felt the teeniest twinge of a headache, but nothing that stopped me from doing my hair or brushing my teeth.  It wasn't until Chris asked me, nicely, if I was able to pull up HopStop on my Blackberry from the train.

My snippy response:  "Yeah.  I can, okay?"  Pause, realizing I was being enormously bitchy.  "I'm going to test.  I think I'm low."

A few seconds later, I'm looking at that officially scary number of 31 mg/dl staring back at me.  Still, no real symptoms.  I drank some juice, finished getting ready, and put on my coat and scarf.  It wasn't until I was all buttoned up and ready to go that my legs gave out and my brain went on hiatus.  It took about 30 minutes to fully recover.

Later on, during the screening, I tested at random and saw a blood sugar of 48 mg/dl.  More juice.  More nervousness, because that one came without any warning whatsoever.

I'm not sure what's been going on these past few days, but the lows have been unpredictable, yet daily.  I can't explain them with an "Oh, I over-bolused," or "I did a more intense workout than usual," or "Whoops, I forgot to eat!"  I even (TMI) took a pregnancy test to rule out any possible biscuit building.  Negative - no biscuit.  So now what?

My Dexcom sensors arrived via FedEx yesterday and I put one on this morning (after charging the receiver - I always forget to do that in advance).  Actually, Chris put it on for me because the sensor is on the back of my right arm today.

"I'm glad this is back on," he said, expertly pulling out the needle and attaching the black sensor to the housing on my arm.  Since I wear my sensors mostly on my arm or my lower back, Chris is the one who knows how to put them on best.  His hands move quickly and surely, talking to me as he attaches this device to my body.

"Me, too.  Yesterday sort of sucked.  The gym on Monday sucked, too."  The sensor clicked into place and he kissed me on the cheek.

"All set."

Now that I can watch the numbers trend and burn, I'm going to run a basal test for the next few afternoons, so I can see what the hell is going on with my body.  Am I suddenly more sensitive in the afternoons?  Is there something going on in the morning that is affecting my afternoon numbers?  Are the glucose gremlins on vacation?  I'm counting on my meter, the Dexcom, and a little old-fashioned freaking vigilance to help me find the source of these lows.

Either way, I'm still on this diabetes trapeze.  But at least I have a bit of a safety net now.

Posted by Kerri Morrone Sparling at 01:09 PM | Permalink | Comments (12) | TrackBacks (0)

They left me alone for several months, but now the lows have returned, and they brought friends. Last night, before we left the house to go to the gym, I tested at 137 mg/dl. Knowing I'd be doing at least 30 minutes of cardio and some weights, I figured I should eat something. Grabbed a bar from the cupboard and chomped on it.

"Will that do it?"  Chris asked as he mixed up his protein shake.

"Yeah.  It has like 18 grams of carbs.  If I disconnect and eat this, I should be good."

Munch, munch.  Feeling good.  We drive off to the gym and go our separate ways - Chris to the weight room downstairs and me to the women's cardio section.  I hit the treadmill and dial up a 30 minute workout.

Music is loud - a little Muse.  My legs feel strong and my sneakers pound against the treadmill.  Strong, healthy, strong, healthy ... the words jostle around in my brain with each step.

But I start feeling a little funny at the 20 minute mark.  The music is too loud.  My headphones feel tight against my ears and my hands are numb at the very edges.  I scan the far wall of the room and the walls look a little wobbly.  My legs are a little wobbly. 

With the treadmill still running, I jump off quickly to the side and grab my meter from my gym bag.  Jump back on to the treadmill with the meter in hand, slowing down the pace so I can unzip the bag and lance my finger.

33 mg/dl.

"That sucks."  I press "Stop" on the treadmill interface and open my bottle of juice, taking eight long slugs from the plastic bottle.   My legs, which just a few minutes ago were holding me up just fine, feel like they're made of yarn.  Leaning against the railing of the treadmill, I finish the bottle.

This low feels particularly rotten.  Waves of nausea and a feeling of extreme light-headedness are coming up from my knees and cresting over my eyes.  I know I need to get downstairs and find Chris, just in case.  My legs work on autopilot, bringing me downstairs and into the weight room, where Chris is working out.

One look is all he needs.

"How low?"

"Thirty-three."

"Hmm.  Larry Bird."   He guides me by the elbow over to where I can sit down.  "Did you drink juice?"

"Yeah. I'm frustrated.  I only got 20 minutes into my workout.  And I feel like I'm all ..." Words aren't processing properly in my head.  "Mushy.  I feel mushy."

"You just need a few minutes.  You'll be okay.  Right?"

"Right."  The affirmation makes sense.  "Baby, I'm sort of tired of Larry Bird."

He smiled and we waited for the numbers to climb.

I don't know where these lows are coming from, but they are sneaky, intense little suckers that buckle me at the knees and steal the words from my mouth.  I'm waiting on my next order of Dexcom sensors to be shipped, but last night was one of those moments where I missed the Dex.  I would have at least seen the low creeping up on me a little bit.

But the wildest part is how strong I feel when I'm in that range, that 90 mg/dl range.  It's my magic number.  I feel strong, capable, almost borderline athletic.  (For those of you who know me in real life, you know how remarkable that statement really is!)  It's crazy how much just a little fluctuation in these numbers can really change how our bodies respond. 

Dex, I need you back, buddy. 

Posted by Kerri Morrone Sparling at 01:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (14) | TrackBacks (0)

Last Friday, on World Diabetes Day, I had the pleasure of spending the day with Fran Carpentier at the Young Voices event in NYC.   Discovery Health showcased the video submissions from people with diabetes and they had a talented panel of guest speakers and ambassadors, including Lee Fine from FiveHumans, the adorable Charlie Kimball of racing fame, and Miss Black USA Kalilah Allen-Harris. 

I had some great interviews with these folks that I'll be posting over the next few weeks, but in meantime, I wanted to share some photos from the event.

Former Mets player Todd Zeile, Fran Carpentier, Kerri Sparling, ESPN report Brian Kenny, and country star Steve Wariner 

Fran, me, and Kalilah Harris

Charlie Kimball and me.  :) 

A big part of what was discussed at this event was the DAWN Youth Initiative, which is dedicated to improving the level and conditions of psychological support for kids and young adults with diabetes.  The DAWN Youth WebTalk survey was conducted in partnership with Novo Nordisk, the International Diabetes Federation (IDF) and the International Society for Pediatric and Adolescent Diabetes (ISPAD).  I had a chance to speak with Dr. Barbara Anderson, DAWN Youth Advisor (and a former part of my own personal diabetes care team at Joslin!) about diabetes, depression, and how we deal with diabetes.  "It's important to be in touch with other young people with diabetes," she said, and I thought of all of us here in the diabetes blogosphere.  Our interactions with one another are crucial to our diabetes management.  We keep one another sane!

World Diabetes Day was recognized across the world and the outpouring of support was tremendous.  Over 1,000 landmarks were lit in blue.  Those of us in the blogosphere wrote about our diabetes lives, created videos, and even expressed ourselves in song.  But there is still a lot of work to be done (check out the comments on my YouTube video for examples of miseducation and ignorance).  And every day, we all help to raise awareness in our own ways.

How did you celebrate World Diabetes Day?  Feel free to post your link in the comments section.  And with almost two weeks left in Diabetes Awareness Month, how will you close it out?  (Should I dye Siah blue?  Somehow, I think she'd find a way to thwart me.) 

(And, for the record, I wore a bright blue scarf on Friday to show my support.  But it was muggy as hell in the city, so the scarf ended up crumpled up in my purse instead of around my neck.  I tried, I swear!)

(One more post script:  Today is my brother's birthday, so wish him a happy one!) 

Posted by Kerri Morrone Sparling at 10:46 AM | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBacks (0)

The clock stared back at me.  5:22 am.  I stared at the green, digital numbers for a few minutes.  They stared back.  5:24 am now.

I reached over to the bedside table and pressed the spacebar on my phone - it told me the time was 5:28 am.

"That's not right.  My clock was set against my phone.  How are they different now?"  I thought about this for a few more minutes.  Chris was asleep on my right, his chest rising and falling with his even breaths.  The little gray cat was curled up at the foot of the bed, but her ears were starting to tilt towards me.

Exhausted.  I could just roll over and go back to sleep, but my hands reach out automatically towards the black zipper case on the bedside table.  I unzip the case and my hands fumble to retrieve a strip from the bottle, then clumsily shoved it into the top of my meter.

"Meow."  Abby called from the floor.  A statement, from the cat who always seems to know when I'm tumbling down the well.

"I'm testing."  I said to her.  To the cat.  I'm talking to the cat at 5:29 in the morning while I test my blood sugar.  Even as the result came back at 44 mg/dl, I had to laugh at the ridiculousness.

But something about seeing that number made the symptoms of the low show themselves.  Seeing that 44 made me notice the dampness on my forehead.   I felt like I was about to burst into tears and into a fit of laughter at the same time.  Chris was still asleep - shouldn't I wake him up and tell him I am so low?  

No.  Instead, I threw back the covers and made my legs move me towards the door.  One step, two steps, a few more steps, get to the fridge, open the juice bottle, drink, close the fridge, skate back towards the bed, collapse back into bed, stare at the clock which is blinking 5:32 now.

"Hey.  You okay?"  Chris stirs towards me.

"Yup."  Just lying on my back, waiting for the feeling of sinking through the mattresses to stop.

"Did you have juice?"

"I did.  A lot.  Grape juice."  Details he doesn't need to know, but I just want to hear my voice and confirm I still have some control over what's going on.

Clock is now at 5:34 am.  The sky outside the picture window is just starting to turn the dark blue-gray of the witching hour, and my lips are stained with grape juice.

Low blood sugars haven't been a part of my routine for several months now, and I credit the end of wedding stress, less aggressive bolusing, and the power of Dexcom.  But last night, my last sensor came loose and I haven't received my new sensors yet.  I had a 230 mg/dl before bed and I took a correction bolus.  And for some reason, the bottom dropped out in the wee hours of the morning.

You can be prepared.  You can plan.  You can have a medical team and an emotionally supportive team and a basket full of technology that can help you manage your diabetes, but a high or a low can still come and grab you when you aren't looking.

Tricky little suckers. 

Posted by Kerri Morrone Sparling at 10:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (10) | TrackBacks (0)

This past Saturday, Chris and I had the absolute honor of being Fran Carpentier's guests at the JDRF Promise Ball in NYC.  At the Waldorf=Astoria hotel, where I felt waaaay out of my league but thrilled to be there. 

We don't have the opportunity to rock the black tie very often, so it was a fun treat to get all dressed up again.  

Chris and I at the gala, feeling rather spiffy.

Fran Carpentier, me, and Gina Capone with our big grins.

A D-Blogger sandwich, with Mr. Tom Karlya at the center.

The night was beautiful, with friends and wine and many laughs.  With Mary Tyler Moore speaking to the crowd from years of experience with type 1 diabetes, and with Elaine Stritch backing her up in style, the crowd was impassioned, inspiring, and ready to spend. 

And oh how they spend.  I have never before seen 2.5 million dollars raised in the matter of an hour.  One quick lift of a sign gifted the JDRF with tens of thousands of dollars.  I sat there in awe, trying to keep the tears out of my eyes as people gave so much.

I don't know how many people in that room were living with diabetes themselves, but I know that at my table alone, Fran, Gina, and I tested our blood sugar before eating.  I know that there were others in the room who were also living with this disease, like my friend Jon who I worked with at dLifeTV, and Allison, and several children who would grow up, just like we did, with type 1 diabetes.

The JDRF is a remarkable organization, but there's still so much left to do.  I've been diabetic for 22 years and I have not yet seen a cure.  Fran has been diabetic for 40 years, and has not yet seen a cure.  Isn't it time?  Time to tell people that diabetes doesn't go away, that it can't be ignored, and that it deserves the attention of the nation?

November is Diabetes Awareness Month, and we need to remind our country - our world - that we are still waiting for our cure.  Raise your voices this month and let people know what life with diabetes is all about.

Posted by Kerri Morrone Sparling at 09:12 AM | Permalink | Comments (11) | TrackBacks (0)

Today is the fourth D-Blog Day, and I'm proudly raising my voice with you guys, the diabetes community.  Three years ago, I wrote about why my blog is called "Six Until Me."  Two years ago, I wrote about my heroes.  And last year, I wrote about what matters.

This year, I wanted to thank you guys for being such a crucial part of my health.  You are all heroes, and I appreciate every one of you.

Posted by Kerri Morrone Sparling at 04:24 PM | Permalink | Comments (22) | TrackBacks (0)

Do you tell people about your diabetes? How do you handle disclosure when it comes to employers, casual acquaintances, friends, and romantic relationships? Are you the type to slide it in there - "Hi, I'm Kerri. I'm recently married and I work in health media. I have a couple of cats and... hey, what's that over there? Ihavediabetes. Anyway, I also love Italian food." - or do you have in-depth conversations with people about your disease?

Posted by Kerri Morrone Sparling at 02:46 PM | Permalink | Comments (15) | TrackBacks (0)

Well that title gets the prize for Worst Pun on the Planet.  It's Friday, I was up way too late last night trying to find a stupid purse, and I woke up this morning with Siah trying to faceplant into my collar bone.  Foolish Sausage ... but at least there's a Friday Six.

1.  ReliOn has issued a recall on some of their insulin syringes.  (Thanks to all of the readers who sent me a head's up on this one.)  According to the press release, ReliOn is "recalling one lot of ReliOn sterile, single-use, disposable, hypodermic syringes with permanently affixed hypodermic needles due to possible mislabeling. The use of these syringes may lead to patients receiving an overdose of as much as 2.5 times the intended dose, which may lead to hypoglycemia, serious health consequences, and even death."  Check the release to see if this development affects you.

2.  Last week, I wrote about the Hannah Montana and diabetes episode that the parents at CWD, and other folks as well, were fighting to have pulled by Disney.  And holy power of the diabetes community - it was pulled off the air!  Parents are pleased, some fans are disgruntled, and Miley Cyrus is now encouraging people to ... Drink Water, Not Sugar?  Not sure where she's going with this, but I'm curious to see.

3.  And because I haven't had a chance to mention it yet, I wanted to thank everyone who came out for the JDRF walk in RI on October 26th.  The day was absolutely gorgeous, and there were about 6,000 people at this year's walk in Roger Williams Park.  My mom, stepfather, brother, nephew, niece, sister- and brother-in-law, Chris's best friend, and my ever-supportive husband walked as part of Team Six Until Me.  I had a chance to meet a few RI readers, chat up some parents, and enjoy a nice lunch out joined by Chris's mother and grandmother.  Diabetes awareness has become a family affair, and I'm so honored and proud to have their support.

4.  This Sunday, November 9, marks the fourth annual D-Blogger Day.  The details are on Gina's Talkfest blog, but the general gist is this:  If you are a diabetes blogger, November 9th is the day we collectively come together and post about diabetes.  Sure, there are other things going on in our lives, and who wants to blog on a Sunday?  But D-Blogger day has been a tradition in this here blogosphere and I've been a proud participant for three years, so be sure to raise your voice on Sunday.

5.  And next Friday is World Diabetes Day - are you ready to mark the occasion?  There are events taking place all over the blogosphere and in the "real world," as well.  Will you dress in blue to show your spirit?  Will you blog about diabetes and educate others?  Are you helping to light a building in blue?  I'll be in NYC marking the day - where will you be?  Do you love questions?  Does it sound like I have upspeak?

6.  Wow, five very diabetes-centric things.  I think I need a little levity.  So I'll consult Le Sausweege.  I went to grab my work bag this morning and it turns out that Siah wanted to visit dLife.  She was sitting patiently in my bag, her little paws pressing the buttons on my cell phone.

Thanks, Sausage.  You aren't annoying at all.

Have a great weekend, and since it's NaBloPoMo all month long (ahhhhh!), I'll see you tomorrow.  And Sunday.  And all next week.  :)

Posted by Kerri Morrone Sparling at 10:43 AM | Permalink | Comments (9) | TrackBacks (0)

I'm picking my priorities, petal by petal.

I'm choosing to wear this Dexcom and adhere another site to my body.  I'm choosing to have the beeps ring out and scrape against the walls of my office, letting everyone know I'm out of range somehow.  Sometimes the site doesn't bother me, sometimes it itches a little bit.  Depending on where it is resting, either on my arm or on my lower back, I sometimes see it in the mirror and am reminded of what I'm trying to accomplish.

I'm choosing to test my blood sugars and log the results regularly these days, even though keeping a log book goes against what appears to be my internal wiring.  I've always been challenged by keeping track of blood sugar numbers, even though just looking at a few days' worth of numbers really does help me isolate patterns.  I'm building a binder, and it's a pain in the arse, but I'm hopeful that tighter numbers will be the result.

I'm choosing to laugh at the things that hurt me.  When the infusion set hits a nerve as it goes in or when my CGM site bangs against the doorjam, I try to embrace my inner Yosemite Sam instead of letting the pain get to me.  Making this choice makes me hop around like a rabid bunny sometimes, and eventually gets me giggling, but it's better than feeling angry.

I'm choosing to go to the gym after work every weeknight.  I do not like the impact this has on my free time, and I don't always like the actual sweating part (oh how I hate to sweat), but I need to keep my heart healthy and my body strong ... and it helps clear my head a little bit, too.  So even though this hour and a half is something I want back at times, I know this choice is worth it.

I've chosen to limit my commitments these days, because over-extending myself leads to stress patterns that make my brain melt.  I'm stoked to do NaBloPoMo, but I've ducked out of doing NaNoWriMo this year.  I'm working at dLife and freelancing, but I'm being careful not to plan to be in fourteen different places at once.  I've decided to stay home in CT some weekends instead of making the long drive back to Rhode Island.  Peace of mind goes a very long way for me, and I'm making the choice to stay a bit more stable. 

Life gets busier and busier every time I blink, and I know it's not just me.  Everyone seems to have a side business they're cultivating, or organizations they're volunteering for, or events they're coordinating.  Life is blasting forward at a breakneck pace and we, as members of this community, have that added bonus of diabetes to manage in conjunction with everything else.  I'm trying hard not to get sucked into the stressful chaos of accomplishing everything, and instead giving a go at managing life petal by petal. 

Posted by Kerri Morrone Sparling at 03:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (8) | TrackBacks (0)

Last Friday, we had a little Halloween party at dLife, complete with costume competition.  And there were treats - oh holy sugar rush, there were brownies and candy bars and cupcakes and other delicious, carb-laden tasty bits.

But somehow, willpower had settled into my brain on the overnight and took up residence there, keeping my hands steady when the sugary treats were passed around.  And while other moments of willpower are hard for me to maintain, this one was easy.  I've felt a little "off the wagon" lately with my eating, so I'm trying to revert back to pre-wedding mentality, with a focus on lower carbohydrate consumption and ramping up my workouts a little bit.

"No thanks, I'm all set," as the candy dish is passed around.
"I'm cool," while the brownies are being cut and served.
"I'll have coffee," when offered a delicious cupcake.

And it wasn't difficult.  I actually felt unaffected by this mysterious willpower.  It was kind of nice to just coast without feeling any pangs of "Man, I wish I wanted to take the leap and eat that ..."

So why, dear diabetes, did you decide to take a mini-hiatus for the afternoon?  My "good behavior" was rewarded by a series of low blood sugars that righteously kicked my ass.  As soon as I got to work, I started taking pictures of my co-workers' costumes and enjoying the festivities.  But after a few minutes, I realized there was a hollow tin to the way everything sounded, and my lightweight Red Riding Hood cape felt like it was about 33 (Larry Bird) lbs of fabric.  

I tested, and sure enough:  34 mg/dl.

Fantastic.  I had to borrow change from a coworker and grab a juice from the kitchen, chugging it in almost one gulp.  Thankfully, my body recovered fast and by the time my friend asked, "Hey, are you okay?", I already was.

Forty-five minutes goes by.  And I'm sitting at my desk, typing away in an email and realizing I've typed the word "diabetus" instead of "diabetes."  I hit the backspace and tried to retype it, but my fingertips skidded off the keyboard clumsily.  The headache behind my ears was a pounding one, and beads of sweat were on my forehead.  Oh for crying out loud - another one?  I reached back and grabbed my bottle of glucose tabs, popping two in my mouth at once as I fumbled with my meter.  

Well lookie here:  48 mg/dl.  How did that happen?!  I haven't eaten anything that required a big, potentially miscalculated bolus, so what gives?  Whatever - treated it and tried to move on.  (But I giggled again at "diabetus," and promptly had Liberty Medical commercials stuck in my head for the next three hours.  Digression?  Don't mind if I do!)

We had our Halloween costume contest, gave out the prizes, and work resumed again.  I was talking with my coworker when I felt the old, familiar symptoms creeping back up on me.  Her voice was too loud, the heating vents were too loud, the buzzing from the computer screen was creeping into my brain and gnawing on my nerves.  I felt testy.  Overly sensitive.  I wanted to tell her I felt low but the words coming out of my mouth weren't ones that had checked in with me, first.  

"I wanted to ... you know, I'm sorry.  I think I'm low again.  I need to test."  Shunk.  55 mg/dl.  I didn't know what to say.  Why won't this low just back off!?  Does it want brownies that badly?  I moved my chair back and reached for the glucose tabs again, my coworker pausing to look at my quizzically.  "Apparently, I'm cured," I said with a shrug.

I do not understand what causes these lows that hang around for hoooooours.  I didn't change my basals.  I didn't do anything bizarre, like run five miles before work or start doing crunches at my desk.  I hadn't eaten anything out of the ordinary, and I was eating snacks at very regular intervals.  But for some reason, this low blood sugar was hanging with me - we were buddies.

Dear diabetes, if you wanted a brownie, you could have just said so.  Seriously. 

Posted by Kerri Morrone Sparling at 02:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (10) | TrackBacks (0)

I have to admit it:  I have a diabetes crush.  He is funny, upbeat, realistic, and is easy to identify with.  I've watched all his dLife segments and I think I speak for the entire dLife editorial team when i say, "Jim Turner ... sigh ... he's the best!"

And he came into the office on Friday, just in time to see us all decked out in our Halloween finest.  (Note:  I managed to ditch the red riding hood cape for the picture, but others weren't as quickly uncostumed.  The coworker on my left doesn't usually have this fluffy hairdo, for example.) 

Jim Turner has been living with type 1 diabetes for several decades now, but you wouldn't know by looking at him.  He looks healthy, seems happy, and has a wicked sense of humor that makes you giggle at things you didn't even realize were potentially funny.  If laughter is the best medicine, then Jim might be the ultimate endocrinologist. 

And of course he comes in on a day when we're all dressed up like goof balls.  

Thanks for entertaining us for the afternoon, Jim.  We remain your loyal fans!!  

Swoon again. 

Posted by Kerri Morrone Sparling at 11:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (13) | TrackBacks (0)

(Sounds sort of like a children's book title, no?  "Once upon a time, there was the Internet...")

My friend Berci at ScienceRoll asked me to create a video to show his Medicine 2.0 class how the web can impact chronic disease management.  My take on the whole concept is that it's amazing how the web can bring a world of people together to share their common experiences, which for me makes diabetes less isolating.  I used to be one of the only diabetics I knew - now I know hundreds! 

Thanks, Berci, for letting me virtually address your class.  I hope they didn''t think I talked too fast.

Posted by Kerri Morrone Sparling at 09:33 AM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

Today has been a day of awkwardness already.  To wit:

• I tried to get into the wrong car this morning because I forgot that I don't drive the Jetta anymore.  Whoops.  But I'm trying to blame that on a lack of coffee in my system.
  
• I walked into work with my skirt tangled in pump tubing, because I forgot to adequately tuck it all in before I got out of the car.  Argh.
  
• Made coffee in my fancy pants SUM mug this morning without realizing that the remnants of yesterday's coffee were still floating around in there.  Yuck.  Had to rinse and renew.
  
• Went to sit down in my chair while talking to someone and almost missed, nearly landing my arse on the floor.
  
• (Mind you, it's only about 9:30 in the morning at this point.)
  
• Fired up iTunes and blasted ... Yanni.  Yes, Yanni is sometimes the soundtrack of my editorial days.  I love him.  I want to put him on the cover of the romance novel of my life.  Yanni ...  (Awk. Ward.  But I love him.)
  
• Laughed out loud at something when the office was completely silent.  Nothing like waking everyone up with my mega-decibel giggle.
  
• Went for coffee downstairs and gave the lady a one instead of a five, causing me to stand there cluelessly while she neglected to ring up my purchase.  "You gave me a one instead of a five."  I returned from the mental moon.  "Oh, shoot, sorry about that."
  
• And walking back up the stairs to the office, the thigh holster I was wearing to hold my pump started to slide, causing me to grab for my leg and hold the strap in place while trying to waddle to my desk, where I could hitch the holster back up.  Nothing like having the people in the board room thinking my underpants are falling down as I walk up the stairs.  Fantastic.

Posted by Kerri Morrone Sparling at 12:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (8) | TrackBacks (0)

Here I am again, stepping waaaay outside of my comfort zone and admitting that I've seen that ridiculous TV show "Hannah Montana."  My niece M (formerly "Chris's niece M," but now that he and I are married, she's my niece, too!) has made me watch Hannah Montana many times, and it makes her giggle, so I tolerate it.

Now we all know that Hanna Montana is played by Miley Cirus.  Miley Cirus used to date Nick Jonas.  (Gag - I can't believe I'm writing this, but there's a point.  Bear with me being all TigerBeat.)  Nick Jonas was diagnosed with diabetes in November 2005.  And in an episode airing on November 2nd, diabetes makes an appearance on Disney's Hannah Montana show.

I've come full circle.  Finally.  ;)

This upcoming Hannah Montana show was brought to my attention by one of the wonderful CWD parents (full disclosure:  I love the CWD parents.  They remind me of my own mom and dad, and they rock!), and she wanted to know if I could help get the word out about this upcoming episode.  I watched the bootlegged show on YouTube several times, and I can see why the parents are up in arms about this.

Parents are protectors.  That is their job, and the parents of kids with diabetes are the ultimate protectors, acting as external pancreases while maintaining a normal life for their child.  So when a show that kids are rabid for, like Hannah Montana, highlights diabetes, there's this sense of hope.   Like, "Hey, Disney is involved with Nick Jonas.  They are tuned into kids.  They won't screw this up."

But did they?

If you watch the episode, you'll see plenty of references to diabetes, some accurate and some completely eye-rolling.  Calling the character with diabetes "sugar boy"?  Pointless.  (I'm not the most PC person you'll ever meet, and if someone called me "sugar girl," I wouldn't care.  But if it were my kid receiving that moniker, I'd rip heads off.  Yet I've digressed.)

However, the thing that struck me as completely off-base was the constant theme that Oliver couldn't have any sugar.  He spends most of the episode drooling after sweets, fantasizing about cotton candy, and even diving into a trash can to retrieve a tossed out candy bar.   The other kids in the show kept talking about how they need to keep sugar away from Oliver, at all costs.  This is what made me think, "Uh oh."  I get that the show is trying to talk about diabetes in ways that kids can understand, but this theme was dangerous. 

So what if Oliver gets low at school?  And needs sugar?  Is the lesson here that diabetics can't ever have sugar?  Holy food police training video.  This message sets a dangerous precedent, one that could leave a low diabetic child being denied sugar, if all their peers have to base their knowledge on is Hannah Montana.  And yes, I know that education comes in more forms than Hannah Montana, but lots of kid watch this foolish show, and I don't want their impressionable heads filled with misinformation.

I'm not blowing the whistle on this episode, not entirely.  I'm glad that diabetes is making its way into mainstream media, and I'm also glad that the end of this show had Hannah Montana and her friends reassuring Oliver that he was still the same guy and still their friend.   That's pretty damn important.  I just want to see this positive message of acceptance accompanied by accuracy. 

Watch the video (there are three parts) and let me know what you think.  Do you feel like this episode presented factual diabetes information?  Were there parts you liked?  Didn't like?  Wanted changed?  Are you of the mindset that all exposure is good exposure?  That intentions were good with this episode?  Or do you expect more from Disney?  Are you inclined to write a letter?  Plain don't care?  Are you sick of my questions?  Who the hell is Hannah Montana, anyway? 

Phew!  I'm off to read the newest issue of TigerBeat.

Posted by Kerri Morrone Sparling at 11:01 AM | Permalink | Comments (48) | TrackBacks (0)

We made it to the church just before the wedding started on Saturday afternoon, and the bride looked beautiful.  It was like a mini-roommate reunion, with all of my roommates in attendence and ready to celebrate.  But as we sat in pew and watched her say "I do," I noticed a run in my stocking. 

"Oh man!  A run.  In my stocking."  (I kept thinking about that lady in Lost In Translation, who encourages Bill Murray to "lip her stocking, Mr. Bob Harris.")

We had some time to kill between the service and the reception, so we stopped by CVS to grab another pair of stockings.  Being the awkward human being that I am, I managed to remove the torn stockings most ungracefully, ripping loose the infusion set that was (at one time) adhered to my left thigh.

"Damn it!"  Blood spurted out from the manged site, which was now fully torn out.  "Shit - I tore out the site."

"Do you have an extra one?"

"Yeah, back here somewhere." 

Thankfully, on our weekends in RI, we live out of our car.  My travel bag was in the backseat, where I had a backup infusion set and the Quick-Serter handy.  I prepped the site with an IV wipe and mutted to myself as I reprimed the pump.

"Thank God we had the travel bag with us, or I'd be screwed." 

"You have syringes with you, though, right?"  Chris asked.

"Yeah, but no Lantus.  I'd be dosing little weeny bits of Humalog every hour or so just to keep up.  Forget sleep - it would be a nightmare.  And even if we got a bottle of Lantus, things would be all mucked up on Sunday and Monday."

I popped the new infusion set in my leg and pulled on a pair of nylons.  New stockings, new infusion set - both "rips" were just blips on my radar. 

But it struck me how much I take this technology for granted sometimes.  I'm used to the pump being attached and everything just plain working.  A tugged out infusion set can throw my whole weekend into a tailspin.  I try and plan for unforeseen issues, but you can't plan for everything.  There's a lot of crap to remember!  Extra infusion sets, enough test strips, glucose tabs for a low, an insulin pen in case of a high ... and back ups of these back ups.  Diabetes pack-muling.

People have asked me why I bring so much stuff everywhere.  Why I'm always toting a bag that makes me shoulders ache after a few hours of carrying it on my shoulder.  Why when someone says, "Oh, do you have a pen?" or "Anyone have some gum?" or "Hey, would anyone happen to have grape flavored glucose tabs?" - I'm their go-to girl.  It's tough to pack light when you're trying to prepare for all the diabetes variables.

"Okay, so you're set now?"

"Set.  Literally."  (Oh, diabetes humor.)  "Want to stop by Second Beach before the reception?"

Diabetes can be a huge pain in the arse.  And sometimes it can just be a blip on the radar.  I'm thankful for the blippers.  :)

Posted by Kerri Morrone Sparling at 11:49 AM | Permalink | Comments (14) | TrackBacks (0)

I like when worlds collide. 

Christel and I originally met through our diabetes connection, about three years ago.  Conversations quickly stemmed from pumps and blood sugars to laughing our asses off at jokes and talking about our lives.  Nicole is a former co-worker who has had to deal with my ridiculousness at work and outside of work.  Two different parts of my life - work and the internet community.

Yet last night, they were both forced to hang out with me together.  Pals at Les Halles.  ;)  (Crappy pun, but when you mispronounce the name of the restaurant, as I often do, it rhymes at least a little bit.)

We dined at Les Halles (which is where Christel and I went last time she was up north) and the food was fantastic.  Steaks and frites and some wine and creme brulee (holy 273 mg/dl, Kerri) ... good stuff.  It was very cool to sit there with my "diabetes friend" and my "coworker" and realize that these two have stepped far outside of their labels and are true friends. 

Diabetes talk?  Sure, there was some of that.  Work talk?  Of course, some of that, too.  Plenty of silliness, as well.  Good food, good conversation with good friends. Worlds colliding, in all the right ways.  Thanks for the great night, ladies!

*          *          * 

Unfortunately, I won't be able to attend the DRI sessions on Saturday in NYC as yet another college roommate of mine is gettin' hitched in Newport this weekend, but I hope you guys have a great time!  And on Sunday, Team SUM will be representing at the JDRF Walk in RI, so if you are going to be at that walk, please stop by and say hello!

Have a great weekend!

Posted by Kerri Morrone Sparling at 02:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

Folks who commented on the last vlog post gave me some stuff to talk about, and this round I've tackled diabetes management and Halloween.  I was diagnosed in 1986 and have spent almost all of my Halloweens as a diabetic, so I've been trick-or-treating around the block for decades now.  (Hmmm ... that sounds a bit ... odd.  Yet I've digressed again.)

If you have any tips on managing diabetes during trick-or-treat season, feel free to toss 'em in the comments section! And share what your costume idea is for this Halloween! Chris and I are dressing up as ... well, you'll hear at the end of the video. ;)

Posted by Kerri Morrone Sparling at 09:07 AM | Permalink | Comments (31) | TrackBacks (0)

Over the past few weeks, I've received some terrific diabetes-related products and information from people out there who are aiming to make a difference.  Ranging from support groups to bracelets, it's time to help spread the word.  (Note:  I received all of these products as samples and have not paid for these items, nor have I been paid to talk about these items.)