« Not Zelda, But ... | Main | Diabetes Police: Revisited. »

Mark This As Certain, and Forever.

Dear Birdy,

Today is your birthday.  You're three years old, love. 

Over the weekend, we celebrated your birthday with some of our friends and family members, and at one point, you were out in the garden with your friends, running and laughing through a pile of raked leaves, your pigtails scrambling with each wild giggle.  And I just stood at stared at you, wondering where the little baby went and how this little girl managed to sneak in while I wasn't looking. 

This little girl with all the opinions ("Can I wear this Thomas shirt? I know it has lunch and dinner on it but it's clean on this sleeve and on the bottom?") or the lack of opinions ("I want sumfin to eat, please!" "What do you want?" "... I don't know.  Sumfin from your ideas, mom.").  The little girl who puts words and thoughts through the woodchipper in her mind, asking me if we're going to "shis house" (because if it's "his house," then the feminine must be "shis house") or why the squirrel is climbing up the tree sticks (branches).  This little girl who rides a bike (with training wheels) at a breakneck speed, ringing the bell like she's challenging the ice cream man. 

You're my favorite person in the whole world, Birdy.  And you always will be, even if I meet Thom Yorke and he offers to buy me a cookie.  As quickly as you can make my head explode and implode with frustration, often simultaneously (well done, you), you are just as quick to melt my heart into pancake batter when you gently kiss my Dexcom sensors after installation, telling me, "It will only hurt for a minute, Mom."   Words like "love" and "family" were redefined the moment I found out you were sprouting inside of me. 

I love laying in your bed at night and listening to you recap the day.  I love the way your hair curls into ringlets while you're in the bathtub.  I love the way your brow furrows when you hear a baby crying, wondering, "Where is shis mommy?"  I love the concern and compassion you have for people (the high school kids who were jogging in the winter without hats on, the lady at Dunkin Donuts who had a bandaid on her finger and you were concerned that she might need a kiss from 'shis mommy') and for non-people (the patchy stray cat that you and Daddy have named "Fluffy" and feed when you think I'm not looking, the hedgehog in the garden who eats acorns from piles you left on the deck last fall).  I love all the moments that make parenting awesome, and I secretly love all the ones that make it hard but would you please ignore what I just said and for God's sake eat the dinner we have prepared for you instead of asking for Spiderman fruit snacks.

Today is the last letter on this blog that I'll be writing for you.  While I love clicking on the "diabetic mommy" link and spinning through the last three years by way of these updates, it's time to retire the tradition, at least in a public sense (because eventually, you'll be like, "MOM!  Stop doing this.").  You have gone from my adorable baby blob of oft-gassy and constantly-smiling Bird to my smart, happy little girl with a personality and story all your own.  And while your story is so closely intertwined with mine, it remains yours.

I've loved you for a long time.  Longer than I've been laughing, or seeing, or breathing.  Three years ago, I was able to see all of my hopes and dreams come together in your eyes, and in your smile.  Thank you for letting me share these moments with these friends, Birdy.  I hope, by the time you read these letters, you'll realize that, even though I might be telling you not to wear so much makeup or to always wear your seat belt in the spaceship cars of the future, I love you.  And have always loved you.  And will always love you.  There aren't many constants in the world, but that's one that you can mark as certain, and forever.

Happy birthday to you, my gorgeous, brilliant, crazy Bird. 

Love always,
Mom.

Comments

Happy birthday to your daughter! May God grant her many many years!

Beautifully written!

Thanks for the party B-Zone.

We ate enough blue food coloring to where it looked like a bunch of smurfs were murdered on the porch table.

Perfect. =)

Waaa (times 2)! My ReeRee and your Birdie and almost the same age, and I nearly cry every time I read your monthly love letters(sniff #1). I am sad we will see no more of the letters, but I'm proud of you for being such a caring mom (sniffles #2).

I have been watching too much "Monsters, Inc" with ReeRee. At the end of the movie, Mike says to Boo,

"Go ahead. Go grow up now."

Go ahead, Birdie, go grow up:)

That just made me cry. That was beautiful! Happy bithday birdy. :) Your a great mom!

We will miss the "bird" letters. Privacy for the girl trumps but am glad to know the tradition will continue even if we can't read them. She's gonna LOVE these letters in the years to come. She'll always be your baby.

Thank you! I LOVE your letters to Birdie!

There are only a few reasons that I'm glad I have Type 1 diabetes. One is them is being introduced to your blog. Thanks again, Kerri, for another wonderful post about your precious Bird.

What a wonderful post - it will be a gift to your family for years to come!

just beautiful, all around
I'll miss the Bird stories

I'll miss these. Your letters to Miss Bird always make me smile and always bring memories of our sons.
Both sons though have said, "I'm so glad you didn't have a digital camera when we were growing up."
Keep enjoying your lovely daughter.

Long time reader - first time poster :)

I have loved loved loved reading all your Birdy adventures. This post in particular made me all choked up.... I will certainly miss reading them.

Please post a photo every now and then of your Birdface - your darling girl makes me smile everytime.

Awwwwwww *eyes tearing*

She's grown into such a beautiful lil girl!
You tremendously inspire me that one day I can be a type-1 mommy too...thank you for sharing your story -you really motivate me when times are tough.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts over the last 3 years. I will miss the monthly updates, but now that I have my own new daughter, I know some of the wonderful things I have to look forward to.

That is such a beautiful post. Your daughter will LOVE reading that when she is older.

Thanks for this post. Our little girl ist just a few month older and I'd love to be able to find words to write her in the way you do. Maybe I should just keep your letters for my girl and tell her that I felt exactly the same but unfortunately did not find the words...

I'll miss your letters to Birdy but totaly accept her privacy. Thanks for sharing these beautiful words with us until today.

Joe - The guy from Germany

AH! LOVE THIS! Thanks for sharing these with us. I have enjoyed each and everyone. She is so beautiful. Happy Birthday Birdy!

Love your blog. I have a 3 year old grandson myself. They are too cute for words at this age but you capture your thoughts and feelings beautifully. I wanted to give you a heads up about the Thom Yorke interview on the Here's the Thing podcast. You'll like it! Pump on. Nina

I know I've told you this before, but I swear that top picture is exactly how I would imagine a little-Kerri would look. (Not that I've ever met big-Kerri in person before, but maybe someday).

It's been three years already? Wow. Thanks for letting us in to the beginning parts of her life...

On the one hand, how on Earth can she possibly be THREE already. On the other hand, I think about that dinner at Bertucci's and the little yellow socks I gave you / her and it seems like eons ago.

I'm going to miss your monthly letters to her. :( We're just going to have to talk more often IRL so I can keep up with all the wonderfulness that she is!!

I remember when my daughter was three. She's 26 now and I still think three was my favorite year. Still so little but so grown up at the same time.

Happy Birthday Kiddo! And a huge thanks (for the hundredth time I know) to you and your mom for sharing your story and helping me believe it's possible. I can't wait to some day have you and my "Birdy" meet... Love and best wishes

Happy Birthday, Birdzone!!! While I will greatly miss your Momma's letters to you, I understand why she won't be posting them anymore. I'll comfort myself with the knowledge that you're just too cute to keep completely to herself so there will be pictures & the odd snippet or two.

And do us all a favor, stop being in such a rush to grow up. :)

Post a comment

(All comments are moderated. Thanks for your patience!)