From Abby: [D-Blog Week] What They Should Know.
Abby's take on the "What They Should Know" D-Blog Week prompt.
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If I had to tell someone who doesn’t have diabetes one thing about living with diabetes it would be this:
I joke around about diabetes most of the time. I make fun of it. I regularly reference Wilford Brimley. These are the times I’m not struggling with my diabetes. When I’m voicing how I feel, and joking about my dead pancreas, this is not the time to worry.
When I test my blood sugar, put the meter back in my purse, and then sit for a moment silently – that’s when I’m not ok. I probably just saw a number on that screen that defeated me morally and physically. I probably don’t want to talk about it. There is nothing you can do at this moment but appreciate that you don’t have to deal with it, and I’m doing the very best job that I can.
Diabetes is an extremely physical disease (see the giant bruise on my hip from a wonky CGM site) but it is also an emotional disease.
Frankly, you will never understand and I will never expect you to. All I want you to do is laugh at my jokes that aren’t funny and don’t make fun of my Sesame Street juice boxes in the pantry, and don’t judge me when I eat peanut butter on fruit snacks because my blood sugar is 43 mg/dL and it’s the most delicious thing in the world to me at that moment.
I guess what I’m saying is that diabetes consumes my life. It is always there. My reactions to each aspect of it will not make sense to me or you, and I don’t want you to put any effort into trying to understand it. If you are going to be my friend, then all I need from you is to be my friend.
Abby, the part about "don't worry if I'm making jokes," totally resonated for me. When I'm silent is when I'm the most vulnerable, not when I'm vocal about it. I loved this post.