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Looking Back: What I Want Her to Know.

Revisiting a post from last November, because it's all still true.

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After a tough low this morning: 

I love my daughter, too.

I want her to know that she was wanted so much, well before she arrived, and that her parents went to great lengths to make sure her arrival was as safe as they could manage.

I want her to know that those moments when she has to wait while I test or while I bolus or the times when I have to set her in her crib and gulp down grape juice while she stands there, her big, brown eyes staring at me while her mouth tugs into an impatient smile, that I love her and I just need to deal with diabetes for a few seconds so I can be the best mommy I can.

I want her to know that if my eyes don't get better, it's not her fault.  It's not my fault, either.  The fault lies with diabetes.

I want her to know that the reason I'll sometimes frown at a soggy diaper or a voracious pull from the bottle isn't because she's being "bad" or doing something wrong, but because I'm worrying.

I want her to know that just because I have it, and because some of her best buddies have it, doesn't mean that she will have it.  But I also want her to know that if a diagnosis of any kind ever touches her life, we'll manage just fine and take the best care of one another that we can.

I want her to know that when she smiles at me, it's like a thousand online communities inspiring me all at once.  That the hope of her was once the biggest incentive to improve my health, only to be superseded by her arrival in my arms.

I want her to know that regardless of what she may hear about this "diabetes," her mama is going to be just fine. 

Just fine.

Comments

What a beautiful poem/thought. Funny it can be apllied to a lot of things in life in general.

Wow....tears.

This post brought tears to my eyes. Thanks for sharing.

college education for your daughter...$75,000
first new car for your daughter.....$25,000...
wedding expenses for your daughter , (someday, not now, of course..$25,000)
an article like this one written for your daughter.....
PRICELESS...................

thanks, I feel my heart aching a little...=)

This brought tears to my postpartum eyes! As a fellow type 1 with a daughter (one month old!), you wrote exactly what I think, especially about the eyes.

Can I repost this (giving you credit, of course) on my blog?

This also brought tears to my eyes, even though I don't have kids yet. Many of your concerns have crossed my mind.

This still makes me cry! I posted it on my FB page (correctly credited to SUM!) Many thanks, again!

Thank you.....I was on pinterest and was looking at pregnant diabetics and the "I Love my Diabetic Mommy" outfit popped-up. I am diabetic and just got married 6 months ago, we want to have a baby in a few years and I recently was put on insulin. I was feeling SO guilty and worrying about the health of my future child, but reading this article inspires me because I know that whatever I have to go through to have a healthy baby will be totally worth it! Thank you, this was so heartfelt it made me cry!!

OMG, this is very precise description of my own feelings! I can't believe, wonderful. :)

Wow, what a touching sentiment that hits very close to home.

My wife (now 35) was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes at the age of 4, her dad has Type 1 as does my mom and three and a half years ago, my identical twin brother was also diagnosed with Type-1.

Our (now 5 year-old) daughter was diagnosed with Type-1 last September at age 4, just like her mother.
I got pretty emotional when I read your beautiful words, as we went through these same fears and worries with Emily right up until her positive diagnosis.

Now we just take it one day at a time and are so proud of our brave little girl and love her so much, trying to give her the most normal childhood we can. Sure, she has her down days where she says things that break your heart, but then the next day she'll talk about it with acceptance and humor.

While the family history may seem like a curse, it has certainly helped better equip us for dealing with this curve-ball that life has unfortunately thrown us, and we just submitted the paperwork to try to get Emily on an OmniPod (for which she is very excited!).

Emily has a younger sister Claire who is 2.5 years old and now are going through the whole worry-cycle again, hoping and praying for a different outcome this time around.

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