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Guest Post: For All the Ladies.

Carey Potash is one of my favorite writers.  Period.  Not one of my favorite bloggers or one of my favorite diabetes-centric scribes, but just plain one of my favorite writers.  His writing makes me think.  He makes me laugh.  (And he makes me cry while I'm laughing, but I don't realize it until my cheeks are wet.)  Carey has agreed to write a guest post for me today while I'm traveling, and I'm absolutely honored to have him.
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Several years ago I stumbled upon a blog post that flat-out knocked me on my ass. It was a riveting and terrifying account of a young woman experiencing severe hypoglycemia while at the movie theater

I was immediately pulled in emotionally. I couldn’t help but view this as a future window into my son’s life – when he’s in his 20s and I’m not there to protect him when he’s in trouble.

Her vivid and eloquent writing thrust me into the scene as it played out like a diabetes thriller. I was a wreck. I found myself screaming at my computer screen – at the girl working the concession stand - while biting off half of my thumbnail.  “For God’s sake, give her the damn juice! She needs juice!”

The writer’s name escapes me now, but whoever she was, she was a huge influence on me as a blogger. I think her name was Linda something.

Just kidding, Kerri. The blog was Six Until Me and I became an immediate fan. It was right about then that I decided that I too wanted to write about diabetes and share my story as a father of a child with this disease. It’s an honor to be a guest blogger today at Six Until Me.

This one goes out to all the ladies.

The fourth-grade ladies.

Hey, I know you’re a little young to be thinking of marriage, but …

Hey ladies.

Look at this face. Come on. Is this not marriage material?

Listen, I know you always thought you would one day marry Timmy Clifford. Timmy Clifford is a fine choice. I’ll give you that. But let’s not be hasty. Let’s not let his supernatural kick ball skills cloud your judgment. Have you seen some of the lunch trades he makes? Oreos for Fig Newtons? Fritos for cough drops? Are you kidding me? He is a failed stock options trader in the making. You’ll both be living out of a Walmart shopping cart by the time you’re 29.

If you’re thinking that Charlie would be perfect if not for diabetes, don’t. If you’re thinking that diabetes is contagious, don’t do that either. It’s false. There is so much more to Charlie than diabetes. Everyone is a bit broken in one way or another. So, Charlie’s broken thing is a sticky organ the size of a woman’s sandal. There are worse things.   Charlie is strong like bull. He’s smart and he’s determined and he’s got a good heart. He can do anything. And he’d never, EVER, in a million years trade away Oreos. Choose Charlie! Act now and we’ll even send you this incredible onion peeler free.

OK, sure, he has some flaws.

He counts down NASA-style before launching every fart.  Even worse, he gives the pre-emptive “Uh Oh!”  just seconds before each blast. Your fear that he might still do this when meeting your parents and your two sisters for the first time at a fancy restaurant in Manhattan are legitimate. I’ll grant you that. I can’t guarantee that he won’t. I really can’t. Hopefully he’ll outgrow that.

Diabetes, he won’t outgrow. I hope you’ll know that and not give a crap. I hope you are blinded by love.
 
Know this. We’ve had Charlie enrolled in intense diabetes management training for more than seven years now. At 9 years old, he’s already quite adept at counting carbs, testing blood sugar and removing infusion sites. By the time you are married, we will have molded Charlie into a highly advanced, technologically savvy diabetes machine. Hmm, that probably doesn’t help my case. Scratch that. We will have turned Charlie into a nice boy with good morals, high career expectations and the tools to manage his diabetes responsibly.

Think of the pros of marrying a person with diabetes. You like going to Disney World but can’t stand those long lines? Well, when you’re with Charlie you’re with a VID (very important diabetic). No lines for you. Red carpet, paparazzi, complimentary Botox … it’s all quite lavish. Caviar wishes and champagne dreams.

Don’t know the time? Charlie is a human clock.

Need protection from British rioters? Charlie is always armed with sharp foreign objects.

Ran out of cake gel for that birthday cake you promised to make but the supermarket is closed? Check Charlie’s diabetes bag.

Late for work? Pulled over for speeding? Defaulted on student loans? Tell ‘em your hubby had a low blood sugar.  Works like a charm.

Oh, and speaking of cake, don’t listen to what Timmy Clifford says. Charlie WILL be able to eat his own wedding cake. Feel free to shove that wedding cake into Charlie’s gullet and smoosh it all over his face. Just remind him to give himself insulin for the cake if he gets caught up electric sliding all over the place. Just be there for him in times of need. Just like he will be there for you. The way all married couples should be, disease or no disease.

Or maybe you’ll never know a thing about life with diabetes. You’ll never become the worried wife of a diabetic. You’ll just grow old together.

You will be on one of your evening walks with Charlie, your liver-spotted hands clenching his. He’ll tell you again about how he had diabetes when he was a child. You’ll remind him that it didn’t stop him from being a star baseball and hockey player and a world renowned architect. He’ll squeeze your hand and nod. He’ll recall the incredible party his parents threw for him when he was cured at age 22.

And you’ll smile, having heard the story many, many times before.

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Carey, if Charlie doesn't mind a younger bird, I know just the girl.  She's never liked that Clifford kid, anyway.

Comments

I absolutely love this post!

Carey do hold onto this article and show it to Charlie in, say, 7 years. He'll be at the perfect age to be horrified by it. By his 20s he'll probably be able to laugh at it again.

Charlie's a great kid. His dad is a superb writer with a comic streak that kills me, when I'm not reaching for the tissues. Thanks Carey.

Carey, If you're taking applications (and you should) for Charlie's future spouse, we've got a candidate for you. She also likes to fart, but at 15 weeks, she's hasn't learned to count down yet. We can work on that. I hope that doesn't take her out of the running. To make up for the no counting thing, I offer her ability to drool on cue.
I realize that our daughter is younger than Kerri's, but again... Zoe's stellar. And by the time they're old enough to marry, she'll have years of living with a T1 under her belt.
Then again... if Charlie's looking for an older lady, and doesn't mind being a bigamist, I'm your girl.

Ok, I can see why you love this writer. I'm falling in love after my first read. And, good thing I have a 4th grade daughter.

Oh, the end made me tear up! Someday....

Thank you Carey....for sharing Charlie, for just a little bit. If only I were 2 generations younger!! One but has to look at Charlie's photo to know that aside from being an endearing boy...he has strength beyond compare...he is bright and caring, not in spite of diabetes...but because of it. ♥

Such a cute post! Would Charlie be interested in an older woman? Say...15? Great job, I love this.

When my son Alex was diagnosed 5 years ago at age 5, I found so much comfort reading diabetes blogs, knowing there were other people in the world just like us. It's such a way of life. 5 years later, Six Until Me and Carey's blog on D life are the two places I look at every day. Carey - I will never forget two of your blog posts that just made me smile and say "Oh - someone else lives in this crazy world"

"Don't care if he whines, don't care if he cries, he'll never again eat Applebee's fries"

And also your post regarding handing Charlie one grape at a time at a baseball game and wondering what everyone else thought about that nonsense!

Thanks for sharing Kerri and Carey. It really helps alot.

Wow...this was awesome!

Beautiful post!

OMG I got goosebumps at the end. I pray that he is cured at 22, or sooner! Praying for a cure for all of us!

I can see why he is your fav writter! Great post! :D

This post was awesome-ness! I've often wondered about my daughter's future in this regard and hope that she can find someone who will look past the disease. Made me laugh and cry at the same time.

how awkward...everyone just asked me why I couldn't stop laughing....HAHAH

I love this! Amazing post :)

Loved this post! I have no suitor to offer to Charlie but I wish I did! And I too found myself tearing up at the end when he was cured at 22. I want that so bad!

I cried too. Love this:
"Everyone is a bit broken in one way or another. So, Charlie’s broken thing is a sticky organ the size of a woman’s sandal. There are worse things. " Beautifully written. As the wife of a diabetic, they do make great husbands... and father's too.

Our daughter Dalena (age 7 diagnosed at age 2 in 2006 ) wants Charlie to know to look for her at college in 13 years-she'll be in the theater department. She also said, "you gotta love a boy who brings snacks!". She has a point!

Ah-ma-zing! Smiles and laughs and chills and tears. Bean's going into 2nd grade...maybe a bit young at the moment, but when the time is right, two years is nothing!! ;)

LOVE this post! Amazing!

I'm laughing and crying. What a sweet boy and wonderful father. I got engaged two days ago to a guy with a fully-functioning pancreas. Last week, we were at dinner with some diabetes advocates. I heard him from across the table explaining to someone why pizza can be a challenging food for a T1 diabetic. I loved him to pieces right then. I know Charlie will find a wonderful, supportive partner when he grows up!

This post is just brilliant; I love it! (And Kerri, birdy may have to fight my niblet for Charlie's affections. He sounds like quite the catch!) :)

Thank you all so much for the wonderful comments and for offering up your daughters (and in some cases yourselves) for Charlie. Wow, that sounds so wrong! Seriously, you guys are great. Thanks!

I was so excited to see Carey here today...my absolute favorite and love, love, love this post!

Mr. Potash, you rock. Thanks for a great guest post - I loved it

Awesome post! I'm sharing this on my Facebook page with other D-mums!!

No fair throwing in the architect bit! I might have held it together, but that hit close enough to home to pull the tears out.

I am bawling my eyes out.

And I'm not sure how Charlie feels about the older ladies, but my daughter is Type One and will be 11 in January.

We could throw one hell of an epic party.

So beautiful. There is a line in a song that says, "beautifully broken", and it always makes me think of my 2nd grade daughter who also happens to have T1. We are all broken in some way, but these T1 kiddos/adults are the most amazing people I have ever met. Your post made me smile and cry. Thank you for your words.

This is hilarious! How have I missed Carey? Thank you for posting!

This post was awesome! Carey is also my fav writer, I've enjoyed so many of his blogs. Looking at that pic of Charlie, there's nothing to fear...he will have plenty of girl's to choose from...WHAT A CUTIE!!! :)

There you have it, I cried too. Beautiful. My husband always used to tease me in high school that he wouldn't marry me because I was diabetic (blame that on being a teenage boy who doesn't think before speaking)...but he did. And I can't wait to have a huge party when I am cured. Thanks for that image.:)

Loved the post! Laughed and cried. Wow!

Oh my! Kleenex please. Charlie will find the perfect girl who will love him for him and not focus on diabetes. She will look at him and only see the man that makes her heart skip a beat. I know that's my story when I met my hubbie & we've been blessed with two beautiful boys. I look forward to reading Carey's blog!

Love, love, love this post! You may have very well written this post to my daughter! She is also in 4th grade, and has a thing for handsome, dark haired, brown-eyed boys. Although she may fear what he may do when meeting her two sisters and parents, she would be excited to announce he had once had diabetes, too. You see, her 16 year old sister is diabetic also. I know any of my girls would make a great D-wife, they "get it". My middle daughter has her eye on the D-boy in 9th grade already. The fact that he has diabetes and a pump doesn't scare her at all. Until my daughter is cured, my hope is that she will find a man that "gets it".

This made me tear up. As a wife of a PWD, I can only hope that a cure is within Charlie's lifetime and his wife won't have to worry like I do.

As a 21 year old with diabetes, I too hope that your son is cured of his diabetes by age 22 because that would mean that I saw the cure in my lifetime. I loved this post. It was incredible, inspirational and so enjoyable to read.. I read it twice!

Your post made me so happy. Of course I cried when I got to the liver spotted hands part. In all of the hustle and bustle of our 8 y o son's diagnosis, I'd completely forgotten to hope for and look forward to a cure. Thank you!

Also, I love Charlie!

i wish you guys could have seen my face when i realized who the guest poster was today. i shouted at my family CAREY THE DUDE WROTE A GUEST POST ON KERRI THE MOM'S BLOG!!! (yes that is how i refer to you both to my family. used to be SIXUNTILMEKERRI but KERRI THE MOM flows better now, and offers a symmetry with CAREY THE DUDE. anyway.)

of course i loved this post, as did the legions of your other fans. i can see charlie's been working hard on his blue steel look. well played.

thanks, as always, for sharing yourselves, the twos of yous.

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