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Ways Life is Trying to Eff with Diabetes Control.

I sort of love that the dryer sounds like an ice cream van a-comin'.  But it does cause a helluva craving.Life is trying to further eff with my diabetes control.  (Or is diabetes trying to eff with life?  Is a zebra white with black stripes, or a horse with black and white stripes?)  I'm making efforts to get it together, but odd little things keep leaping in the way.   Oh efforts to thwart: let me count the ways!!

  • Recently, the jar of glucose tabs in my car was empty, so I was forced to stop at random store and buy a regular Mountain Dew from the vending machine.  But I had to open it and let it settle a little first before I could chug it, because draining a can of fizzy sugar would make me instantly ralph.
  • It snowed and/or was freezing on the days I went to the gym.  But on the days I didn't go?  Sunshine and warm weather.  Stupid weather wants me to be fat.
  • I lost my Dexcom receiver for about five hours, until I heard its muffled scream from between the couch cushions. 
  • The sound of the dryer finishing a load sounds like the happy tinkling of the chimes on an ice cream van.  Which spawns this borderline insatiable craving for ice cream.
  • During my meetings last week with PWoutD (people withOUT diabetes), my blood sugar cruised inexplicably into the stratosphere, forcing me to rage bolus in order to be able to eat more than the plate garnish during lunch.
  • But of course, I crashed hard and instead of enjoying the fact that the luncheon staff supplemented the decadent dessert with a lush bowl of fresh raspberries, I had to wolf it up and then ask for a glass of juice to chase it down.
  • At this same event, during the evening dinner, the group walked over to the restaurant later than I had anticipated, so I was already low by the time we were being seated, forcing me to beeline straight to the bar and ask for an orange juice ("without alcohol, please"), making me appear to be belly-up to said bar way too eagerly.  
  • Walking back from the bathroom to my seat on the train last week, my pump tubing got tangled.  On someone else.  And it took a full 30 seconds to awkwardly disconnect myself from the old woman's handbag.
  • (I also tried to get into an uncover cop car instead of the car that was sent to pick me up at Penn Station.  "Oh, are you here for Sparling?"  "No.  And you don't want me to be."  Realized there were lights mounted on the dashboard.  "I'm .. I'm ... you aren't a car, you are a policeman.  I'm sorry."  Excellently awkward.)
  • And lastly, BSparl tried to gnaw on my pump tubing, so I moved my pump to the other side of my body.  And didn't see Siah come up and grab my tubing.  Cat tried to drag me under the couch.  Like a demon.
Life, stop trying to mess with my diabetes control.  Back off.  Or if you're really dedicated to screwing with me, at least bring soft serve.

Comments

Oh, Kerri... I'd have loved to see your face with the cop car thing. Also when Siah the demon cat tried to pull you under the couch.

"It snowed and/or was freezing on the days I went to the gym. But on the days I didn't go? Sunshine and warm weather. Stupid weather wants me to be fat."
haha I have debated that thought/idea for a while and I've discovered that it is totally true. So I took a "gym" class at school. costs more than a personal trainer (yay high tuition) but its a guaranteed 1 hour workout 2x a week and an easy A.

as for the Dex, yeah, mine rolls around in bed with me so its a mad race to find it in the morning between the 9 pillows, 2 blankets, sheets, and the cat in the bed, good thing it screams, huh?

does your dryer have the option to turn off the chime? most do. Use your oven or microwave timer instead, much more annoying, much less like ice cream truck ;)

As for social control over bs control... you could always say something like "I'm really thirsty, Im going to get some juice, anyone else?" so it wont look like you are a lush when really, you are low.

and lastly...

was the cop at least good looking? and if so, did you get some innocent flirting in? Because its always good to have an officer on your side as you never know when an emergency will crop up.

Stories like these get me through the day. Thanks!

I'd have given up my soft serve to be a fly on the wall when Siah attempted to take you to the Dark Side! Oh, and the undercover cop... PRICELESS!!!
Love this post!

Oh gosh, Kerri. Sounds like you have had a rough go at things lately. But I have to admit. The last bulletpoint has me giggling. I can only picture this scenario happening. BSparl and Siah have it in for you, so they work out this brilliant plan before hand to double-team you. They probably fist-bumped later.

Ha! Loved the imagery of the demon-kitty dragging you under the couch.

I've somehow managed to keep my cats away from the tubing except for sometimes overnight. Then I feel playful batting. The next step will be to drag me under the bed.

Sharing your day to day challenges sure makes my life seem normal. We all go through it (except for the cop thing). Just the other day I had to force a

Kerri I enjoyed reading your story and as a fellow diabetic it does make the day interesting carrying things around.When I go through the airport check points it does make it funny sometimes and I will write about it on my blog site in the coming days. Thanks again.

Kerri, this was awesome.

I love how you have learned to handle even the most awkward moments with a grace that many (including me) are envious of. :-)

I hate to laugh at your misfortunes, but this is seriously funny. That Siah has it out for you!

Oh, wow, Kerri. What a riot. It took three times as long to get through this as it should, thanks to all the laughing (while sitting in my office at my desk...). Co-workers think I've lost it, after babbling something about undercover police and demon cats... Thanks for the great read! Hope Life and D stop playing chicken on your end!

Ah lows. Got that hate/love thing with them. If I'm at Sams Club when a low hits, I get to have a root beer float. YUMMMMMMMM

The part about your tubing getting caught on another person -- made me laugh out loud!

Well, Siah dragging you under the couch isn't so bad. I had a cat that chewed through my tubing, not once, not twice, but THREE times. And one of them was when I had JUST finished changing out the first tubing she chewed through. It's a very insecure feeling trying to sleep when there's a mouthy cat roaming around! All I can say is that she passed away peacefully last year, and I'm sleeping a lot better now!

Stupid diabetes. Mine likes to eff with me on a regular basis to. It's favorite trick is that I'll be stuck with a stubborn high all afternoon before I have a dance lesson . . . . but five minutes before it's time to cha-cha and swing, I plunge into the 60s.

OK - the last three had me laughing out loud... and I'm at my desk in my office where I am supposed to be WORKING, so thats not necessarily a good thing. Anyway. You crack me up. :)

I have been having one of those "years" it seems. Thanks for the giggle, it only makes us realize that any control is a win for us....days like this is about the D-monster (as I call my diabetes) having a great belly laugh at our expense.

Ugh!!! I'm right there with you! Had to work over nights this weekend at the hospital, and it's like I caught the flu! Blood sugars are inexplicably high for no reason, and then I bolus, then RAGE bolus and then nothing and then all of a sudden all that insulin kicks in and I'm low. Totally feel you're pain this week.

Tubing problems? Been there, and now I am a devoted Omnipod user. Is it the smartest pump on the block? Unfortunately, no. But no tubing takes it to a whole new level in my book and once you go there you won't ever go back!

Ugh, the tubing is definitely not baby- or pet-safe. Our little one often gets a leg around my tubing during the night. The tug-tug is one of my *least* favorite sensations ever.

You have a great sense of humor : 0 )

Thanks Heidi. I needed that reinforcement, even after my 47 year with this disease. And, "fun size" Butterfingers are sometimes my "low" treatment although I'm not sure I actually taste, or enjoy, them then. Good health to you, and to all of us.

"Rage bolus" - I love it! Add that one to the dTOEs dictionary. :)

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