I Can Only Use One Word?
A few weeks ago, the WEGO Health editorial team was hitting up the Twitterverse, asking people to finish the Tweet: "My health in one word is _______."
My health, in one word, is VARIABLE. As are my emotions related to it.
Since that question was asked on a day when I was watching giant Ms and Ws dance on my Dexcom graph, I wasn't feeling empowered or particularly rah rah. I was pissed, because despite the fact that I had woken up at the exact same time and had eaten the exact same breakfast and taken the exact same insulin dose as the day before, the results were completely different. (One post-prandial was 146 mg/dl and the other was 288 mg/dl. What the fern?) So "variable" was a tamer way of expressing other "one words" I could have used, like "frustrating," "infuriating," "stressful," and "bogus."
However, if you asked me to finish that Tweet on Monday, when I felt like I had things figured out, I would have said, "My health, in one word, is achievable." Or "resilient." "Unflappable." "Strong." And it makes me wonder - are these positive words I'm using to describe my health, or myself? The negative words seem to point their wordy little fingers right at diabetes itself, but the positive ones seem to give the PWD a pat on the back. (And rightfully so, because a day of in-range blood sugars isn't because of diabetes; it's the result of the hard work of the person with it.)
Which is why "variable" seems to be the best word to describe my health, and my life, with diabetes. Every day includes diabetes, but not every day plays out the same way. Some mornings, I wake up to a flatlined Dexcom and a meter reading that would make my endocrinologist dole out a shiny gold star. But other mornings, the Dexcom is hollering at me and my endo would probably poke me with a stick and tell me to stop sleeping through high alarms. (She's very nice, and I don't think she'd actually poke me with a stick. Maybe she'd stick marshmallows on the end of a stick and poke me with that, which is what Chris and I have threatened to do to the cats in efforts to gently punish them. Marshmallow punches. Holy digression there.)
Diabetes is unpredictable. Hard to tame. Karen called it "complicated." Cherise called it "wacko." It's demanding and pushy and relentless and difficult. It's a child throwing a tantrum. It's a lion with an attitude problem. It's ever-changing. It's variable.
How would you describe your health, in one word?
Comments
One word: draining! This disease drains the life out of me, literally (blood) and figuratively (emotions). Every number has an emotion tied to it: pride, joy, sorrow, frustration, depression, etc. It's so hard not to feel personal accomplishment or failure after a 5-second blood test.
But I'm currently getting off of a major glucoaster for the past 24 hours. Ask me again tomorrow, and my answer might not be so melodramatic. =)
Posted by: Holly | January 27, 2011 10:40 AM
Chaotic in this sense:
b : the inherent unpredictability in the behavior of a complex natural system (as the atmosphere, boiling water, or the beating heart
meriam webster dictionary
Posted by: denise | January 27, 2011 10:43 AM
needy!
Posted by: Anonymous | January 27, 2011 10:55 AM
My word is unpredictable. I can do the same thing each day and get different results.
This week, I agree with Holly on draining (this after 5 days with 103+ degree temp and the flu!).
Posted by: Emily | January 27, 2011 11:00 AM
Rollercoaster-ish!
I know I know, not entirely proper English, but to me this means overall, when things are good they're really good. When things (sugars) are not so good they're chaotic, variable, challenging, wako and all the words the other ladies said already.
Posted by: Amanda S. | January 27, 2011 11:00 AM
"My health in one word is MINE!"
I have complete control over my health. That is not to say my diabieties, weight, or anything else is what we would call in control. What I mean is...
I can choose to be healthy, test regularly, and do the things I need to do to keep myself healthy.
I can also choose to do the things I know I should not like ignoring my testing, eating poorly, or not exercising. When that happens I also must suffer through the consequences. During these times I know that I have no one but myself to blame for my BG looking like some psychotic roller coaster.
Posted by: Monty | January 27, 2011 11:06 AM
Do hyphenated words count? How about "pancreatically-challenged"?
Posted by: Nicole | January 27, 2011 11:17 AM
capricious ...definitely noticing a trend... :-)
I love the idea of little "marshmallow punches" but think getting a sweet treat that close to me would not be in anyone's best interest! ...gonna be dreaming of hot chocolate and s'mores all day now!!!
Posted by: Jules | January 27, 2011 11:19 AM
Lifetime... at least for me. Diagnosed at 2 1/2, I really have not known life without diabetes.
Posted by: Belinda | January 27, 2011 12:04 PM
one word today:infuriating
one word when i'm able to understand my numbers: variable.
I wish there was a machine that yelled at you telling you what happened that produced this number. Frustrating when you have a crazy number you have no idea how it came to be, yet you feel like complete garbage.
Kerri- you should do a post and encourage us to respond to you with what makes us so happy diabetes can for maybe just a minute-be second in our life. Like baby BSparl or a kitty, or our pets..:) Think it could be fun!
Posted by: Cassie | January 27, 2011 12:25 PM
Resilient. At least for now, no matter what number my meter throws or what shape my Dex draws, some core of good health keeps me showing up and moving forward. This body may not be "healthy" but I've learned how to work with it and use technology to help it function. It may not be "reliable," but with skill and mindfulness I can be. I know things will change with age, but for now I'm grateful to still have resilience after 31 years with D.
Great post...
Posted by: Laura G. | January 27, 2011 12:54 PM
I carry three different machines around, two different things are attached to me, I leave a trail of blood soaked test strips all over the house, and there's an rolling outside chance I wake up to medical personnel in the next two hours. One word? Inconvenient! Haha!
Posted by: Sam | January 27, 2011 01:06 PM
Exasperating. Sometimes my numbers are so good I think the diabetes went away while I wasn't looking. Sometimes I can't get them down no matter what I do. And what I hate worse than the M's and W's are the TABLES -- when your BG is just plain high and won't budge!
Posted by: Natalie Sera | January 27, 2011 01:27 PM
High-maintenence. Definitely. Unless we don't allow hyphens, in which case I choose cantankerous :)
Posted by: val | January 27, 2011 01:41 PM
Can I use four? Pain in the Pancreass!
Posted by: Rikikitty | January 27, 2011 01:42 PM
My health is present. The numbers might be perfect, or perfectly awful, but my health is always there, by my side. It's always on my mind- whether it's making me happy, proud, hopeful, depressed, frustrated, or uncomfortable, my health is present in my life, and it's a part of me. I take my health with me everywhere I go- to work, to the gym, and even when I'm biting into a huge chocolate brownie- after bolusing, of course ;)... my health is there.
Posted by: Jessica | January 27, 2011 01:44 PM
unique
Posted by: Joan | January 27, 2011 02:00 PM
Challenging - but it will not beat me! Feeling very good and in control since giving up carbs. Losing weight too!! Great post!
Posted by: Christina Sanne | January 27, 2011 02:13 PM
Excessive.
I get the first gold star of the day for following your pictures request!!
Posted by: Kevin | January 27, 2011 02:34 PM
we call it a dragon. sometimes it bites you, sometimes you bite it.
Posted by: michele | January 27, 2011 03:01 PM
"Hard" -- just plain hard
Posted by: "D" as in "D" | January 27, 2011 03:24 PM
#painintheass. Because technically that is one word. Just like starting a sentence with "because" is proper English. :)
Posted by: Scott & Traci | January 27, 2011 04:07 PM
Demanding. I am pregnant with twins, and I have to give the placentas what they want, so that they will give me the healthy babies that I want!
Posted by: Erin | January 27, 2011 04:51 PM
Unpredictable
Posted by: Rachna | January 27, 2011 10:07 PM
Mysterious.
Posted by: Suki | January 27, 2011 11:50 PM
"Demanding." Not to far away from the concept of draining. But I hope more on a positive note. There is so much to do. So much to know. So much to worry, cheer and battle; with failures and successes. It takes a lot of my and my family's time and effort.
Posted by: Christine | January 28, 2011 12:59 AM
Exhausting
Posted by: Anonymous | January 28, 2011 05:46 AM
Oooohhh yes, variable is a great one too. It's part of what makes it so "complicated"!
Posted by: Karen | January 28, 2011 01:15 PM
It's interesting to read this. I've been living with type 1 for only 8 months, and often think that the daily fluctuations in readings is just part of my initial learning curve. Being reminded that, some 24 years after your diagnosis, random unpredictable readings are still a part of your daily routine, is both sobering and oddly comforting. It reminds me that the delicate, daily work of diabetes management never ends, and so to take it easy on myself when I get those surprise highs or lows.
Posted by: Sarah Pearson | January 28, 2011 01:32 PM
I know this may be inappropriate to post, but do you know the scrabble letters posted can spell car sex?
Diabetes word: apathetic (at the moment for me... and yes, I know I should be more motivated)
Posted by: Glenda | January 29, 2011 09:29 AM