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It's Nothing.

Tricky little sucker, ol' Blue.When I was pregnant, my eyes were constantly monitored by the combined team at Beth Israel and Joslin.  Actually, diabetic retinopathy is the sole reason for my c-section delivery of the baby, because the spots they saw were too close to the macula for the medical team to advise "push" for me.  (And if you are inclined to comment about how c-sections are evil and how I should have pushed anyway, save your comments for someone who has the option to chose.  Because my kid is asleep in the other room right now, and I can't exactly shove her back in and try again.) 

After the baby arrived, I was scheduled for several follow-up appointments with the goal of checking out my kidney function, the healing of my c-section incision, and the progression of my retinopathy.  But then things got all jumbled - my six week follow-up turned into a seven week one, and it was hard getting into the city with a newborn, and then we moved again ... excuse after excuse, but I have yet to re-dilate my eyes.

A few days ago, I noticed a little ... you know, I can't really describe it accurately, but it's a something in my eye.  Right eye, lower right hand side, sort of like a Pac-Man ghost you can't quite catch.  I've Googled it and some have described it as a "floater," but in any event, it's new.  It's not there all the time, and it usually comes into play after several hours of computer work, so I'm inclined to chalk it up to eye strain.  Or exhaustion.  Or a combo of both.

It could literally be nothing.

Or it could be something.

And because diabetes is a piece of garbage, I have to check this ghost out.  So I'm calling today to make an eye dilation appointment.  This is one bit of follow up that I can't duck out on, especially since the worsening of eye complications kind of goes hand-in-hand with BSparl building.  I'm on new medical insurance, so it could require some juggling and hoop-jumping, but I can't let today end without that appointment secured.

Eye complications are one of those things that I've always had a healthy fear of, but with the advancements in the treatment of both retinopathy and diabetes as a whole, I'm confident that if there's an issue ferreting around in there, I can deal with it.  It's the lack of knowledge that kills me.  I don't do well with fear, and I definitely fear the unknown.  I'm aiming for answers, regardless of what they are, because I need to nail this thing. 

It could be nothing.  But if it's something, I'm ready.

Comments

Thinking of you AND hoping it is nothing.

The eye thing is my big hangup with getting everything checked out as well. I'm SO glad I'm not the only one. I don't know if it's my fear of kidney dialysis, or if it's just that every time I go to the eye doctor I feel like he is judging me based on the other diabetic patients he has that don't try to take care of themselves as well as I do. But like you, I need to make that appointment as well. I just hope that here in north Florida they have the advancements in treatment as well, should I need it, else I may find myself with a skull 'n crossbones eye patch and an inexplicable urge to yell "Aaarrrggh!" for no reason whatsoever.

Good luck Kerri.

Even if it is nothing, you are a real role model in facing the future head on. I truly hope it is nothing. If it is, you have taken the reigns and tackled it straight away - the best thing you could have done. Please let us know how you get on.

Perhaps you are just temporarily blinded by your wonderful daughter's smile. Have you been looking at that lovely smile too much again? xx

Hoping it is nothing.

I have been getting these little flashers for 35 years. They always precede a headache, mostly migraines. I ususally will then get my period 3-4 days later. I need to take advil or fioricet (Script) immediately or they just get bigger and bigger blocking my vision to the point of, Hey, I need not to be moving around right now! Also, a cup a strong coffee makes them go away too. My doctor said they are benign buggers and related to my monthly cycle not my diabetes

Good Luck Kerri. Obviously we all want it to be nothing, but we'll be here for you if it is something.

Hoping it's "nothing" as well!

Kerri, I get a little floater sometimes when my BG is low. It is definitely annoying. Thanks for the reminder to make my eye appointment, too! I had to reschedule due to the doctors vacation time, and forgot!

I hope it is nothing!

I'm fighting against amacula oedemia since 2 yeras! And last six months it was growing and it was too close to the macula.And my ophtalmo said take your A1C down (I was at 7,2%) and in June she discovered a micro anevrismand told me that maybe it was it that made this. I was living with fear. She made 4 shots in June and I met her last september: the oedemia is smaller (and my A1c is 7 %. But I have retinopathy since 1993, 43 years of type 1; lots of shots of laser.Just to tell you that sometimes I had those ghosts in my eyes and it was nothing for the doctors. And sometimes it's before an headache. So , go to see your ophtalmo and tell me about it. And one more line, your daughter is adorable.

It sounds innocent enough, and I hope it is! Good luck today. I've been down the road and back with retinopathy, so if you ever want to talk to someone, I'm all ears.

I have had Type 1 for 30 years. A few years ago, I too, was moving, in transition, etc. I went to eye doc BEFORE I went off that old insurance and she said there was no sign of retinopathy in either of my eyes, which I thought strange, bc ever since I was 15 (I was dx'd at 11), I've been told I have a little retinopathy. But, I took it at face value. I had some floaters and temporary blurry spots since then. Then last December, completely BLACK in the middle of my left eye's field of vision, covering about 80% of the entire field of vision. Have had numerous laser tx's since then and even an injection (SCARY thought, but not so bad in reality), and I am happy to say that just in the past month, I've regained about 90% of my vision in my left eye. Only thing that remains is some blurriness in some spots. But my depth perception is back. No BLACK spots anywhere (that was the scariest). In fact, I could happily live with this vision the rest of my life, although I hope to regain all of it. So, even if it IS something - I am one case of pretty much being 100% blind in my left eye, and now am back to near normal due to the miracles of modern technology. Fret not, Kerri!!

I hope it's nothing. I hate hate hate eye appointments...eye trouble has always been my biggest diabetes fear, so I am right there with you.

I could learn so, so much from you in your "knowledge is power" behavior toward stuff like this. I tend to opt for the avoidance technique. Blech. Must get eyes checked....

Ugh, I'm the same way. Aaaand today...you've inspired me to go ahead and make that appointment I've been putting off...the one for my A1c and other blood work. Thank you for the "push" (hey this one didn't have to hurt your eyes!)

I'll be thinking about you!

Hope everything goes fine Kerri.
Good luck from me too :-)

I've had the same thing on and off for a couple of years now. A little ghost and when I blink my eyes rapidly the spot kind of stays in the same spot in my vision - like when you look at the sun too long. Very hard to describe.

I get my eyes dilated every year at Beetham. I freaked out a little bit the first time the spot happened. They did see a spot on the pictures they took but said with good blood sugars it might just disappear, which it did. (I love how I say that casually now when I very much remember crying for hours after coming out of that appointment.) Every now and then the spot comes back, but it hasn't been a true issue yet and I'm hoping to keep it that way.

Good luck at your appointment. I know what you're saying about being ready. I try to be ready every time I step foot into Beetham and Joslin. Takes a ton of energy. I'm tired after those appointments ;)

Not knowing and waiting is the hardest part, but I'm no fan of having my eyes dialated. Go to the appointment and the unknown will be taken care of. Oh, and the goal of pregnancy is a healthy baby, not the means of delivery.

I noticed the same thing in almost the same place you describe a couple of years ago. I went to a specialist who checked it out and found nothing. He sent me to a retina specialist who also found nothing. I'm not content to leave anything health-realted to chance, especially my eyes. They check it every year. I hope you have the same outcome as I did.

Darn pesky Pac man! Fingers crossed for you.

I'm sure you will be fine Kerri! Thinking of you!

I had the same thing, my Opthamologist said it was just that a floater something about you eye is gel filled and it's just some of that

It's all about "knowing" and not "wondering."

Diabetes is garbage. And that is not pronounced Gar-baaauge.

Sadly, I'm getting used to mine being "something". I hope yours is "nothing"! Good luck Kerri, and keep us posted!

Hope it's nothing, Kerri. I'm also one not to want to leave anything to chance and wonder, but to get it looked at.. My dad had a detached retina last year out of the blue after a few little floaters, and so that terrifies me now. Of course, I too think that everything that happens is D-related, and am so relieved when I learn it's nothing or something totally not related to D. Anyhow, good luck!

I'm hoping it's nothing, but here's to you for getting it checked out before it's something!

Good for you Kerri, better to jump on this than wait and hope it goes away. I do hope it's all OK.

While I was pregnant with my daughter they discovered I had severe retinopathy.
I had a retina specialist who treated me very poorly and told me my laser treatments would be extensive and painful. I requested a different specialist and went to my first laser appointment listening to calming classical music and hyperventilating on my lavender sachet.
I managed my laser treatments "like a trooper" and have even had shots in both eyes. The first time I had a floater I freaked out and went to emerg that same night. They are annoying but the specialists don't worry about them to much. They seem different from what you are describing.
Hoping this isn't what is going on with you but if it is it is definitely managable; I know all to well.
Good luck!

Hoping it is nothing, as well. I find that a good nap or a good night's sleep takes care of floaters whenever I get them. Can never catch the buggers, tho'... I like how you compared them to the Pac Man ghosts!!

And as for putting BSparl back in and trying again... ewww! ouch! My D friend had a c-section for the same reason. I had to have the c-section because I had a stubborn breech darling son! They never mentioned having one because of my eyes. How can anyone judge because you had a c-section instead of a natural birth. Gosh!! Some people!!

Hi Kerri!

I wanted to reply even though I don't know if its similar to what you're experiencing. This is just another thing you can look at which points toward the "its nothing" side.. and then I read your comments so I wanted to reply @Angela (rikikitty) too.

I frequently get these things called opthalmic (or ocular) migraines. Basically it starts as a little flashy spot somewhere in my field of vision. It will start off as a line or a circle and kind of spread out and move around, usually just kind of falling off the side of my field of vision. They will obscure my vision while they're there, but they only last 20-30 min. PERSONALLY, mine seem to be brought on by stress, by moving from dark to light areas, and if i stare at my computer for too long. Other people I know have mentioned getting them becuase of the weather, and also from eating various things (chocolate in particular).

After researching this becuase it really freaked me out when it first happened, I have discovered that they are harmless. In MOST people, they are not followed by an actual migraine headache, but they CAN be.

One really basic site that I found that can give you a general idea is http://www.allaboutvision.com/conditions/ocular-migraine.htm

Sorry that this is so long, but it was so scary the first time I had one of these things, and there are a LOT of people who don't have a clue what I'm talking about when I try to describe them.

Hi Kerri!
I think it was smart not to push (especially since BSparl is already out) because I blew blood vessels in both my eyes pushing little Alaina out (maybe because she wasn't that little). Pushing is hard on the eyes.

I'm also glad you posted this because Harry's eye doctor has been calling for months and actually sent him a letter telling him to come in for a check-up. Let's see if this lights a fire under him. :-)

Good luck with the appointment... we'll be thinking of you!

It really could be nothing...I had the same scary floater like 10 years ago and was supposed to be doing annual ophthalmologist check and hadn't...I was convinced that this was the first step to my blindness and scared myself silly. Well, I go in finally (somehow) and dilate the eyes, etc. And it's a "normal" floater. I had no idea there were normal floaters, but I was happy to have one! I still have it, although I see right around it and forget it's there...and my eyes have barely had a touch of retinopathy happen in my 24 years of Type 1. SO...all that to say...it really could be nothing, because I guess floaters are normal!

Good luck and I will be thinking good thoughts for you.

Kerri, good for you for getting it checked out. Let us know how it goes!

I'm hoping it was just a brief visit from Casper the Friendly Ghost.

I hope that all will be well. I have serious eye issues, (retinal detachment in right eye), but yours sounds like simple floaters... check your cholesterol levels... that can cause "floaters" too. Good luck! And hey, she's here, she's healthy, and so are you! That's the most important point. Both of mine were c-sections too!
Beth

Good luck to you! I have the same thing in my left eye, it's like this little thing in my eye that I notice especially when I look against something light, it moves with my line of vision, etc. and is worse after being at the computer or television. I saw the eye doctor and it was just that, a floater, he said it may go away, it may not. He was actually able to see it in there which made me feel better, that I wasn't nuts :) I hope yours is just as simple but it's always such a worry. No one likes reminders of the potential that something could happen ;) Hang in there!

I have the same "floaty" fella in my right eye. The opthamo..er..eye doctor called it "nothing" "just a floater." How can a black pac man ghost in my eye be "nothing?" It bother sme most when I am swimmming. Thanks for reminding me to make an eye appointment. Wink Wink.

Yes yes yes - welcome to being a post baby diabetic - where your needs are easily overlooked due to the precious little miracle. My kids are 9 and 11 - it is still always a struggle to find the time for my appts. Good luck.

Here's to hoping it's a nothing. All the best to you!!!

sending calming vibes and prayers...(hugs)

I've had floaters - many, many floaters - since my late teens (a good 14 years or so before the T1 diagnosis). The eye doc was kind of shocked that I had so many and had had them so long, but he said they're normal. It's the vitreous in your eye changing viscosity. I think the floaters are the part that aren't changing viscosity. They tend to get all riled up when you move around and eventually they'll fall to the bottom of your eye. I noticed them first when I would layout in the pool and stare at the sky. Now I just attempt to see past them every single freaking day as I work at the computer. It's annoying as hell, but I would bet lots of $$ that it's not diabetes-related. Just age-related. Enjoy your 30's.

I'm not a diabetic (I read your site because my bf is T1), but I've had a floater for a handful of years now...it comes and goes, usually comes when I'm tired, and for me it looks like a little piece of thread, very tiny. At first I thought it was a fruit fly or something flying by, but then that fruit fly was always in the same place -- upper right of my vision field. Anyway, had it all checked out, and it was nothing -- as another commenter said, "age-related". Wishing you good health!!

Yes, those stupid eye fears are so freaking scary!!! I'm sending hugs, virtual hand holding, and positive vibes that is isn't a Pac-Man ghost at all, just a big ole nothing!!

It is potentially a cotton wool spot. They suck, but they can mostly go away. With moderate npdr they are more common, but they can improve. I have like 10 in each eye but the brain fills in the space if they cause any permanent spots. I really want to talk to someone else who has the exact same retinaopathy level I have. Weird I know. ;-)

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