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Diabetes Control = Hot Mess.

I want to stop picturing these every time I test my blood sugar.Exhausted doesn't even begin to explain how I'm feeling at the moment.  Over the last few days, we've moved into a new house, worked and lived through some construction efforts in our home, traveled to the Toronto International Film Festival for the Buried Canadian premiere (by propeller plane, but more on that panic attack later), and then hoofed it to NYC for a screening (more on that later, too).  Our house is chaos, our schedules are all over the place, and my health management is under duress.

Even though all of this stuff is exciting and the journey to get here has been incredible, it's a lot to manage all at once.  I love to travel, but I hate the actual process of "getting somewhere."  I don't travel light, I have some physical limitations that make travel difficult (read:  tendinitis so bad that I can't lift a bag without wussing out), and I'm still not a fan of flying.  That, combined with the lack of sleep and a wildly varying schedule (including nights that push the 3 am envelope - hey, college throwback!), is a recipe for disaster with all the diabetes stuff.

Blood sugars have had pockets of success, like last night at the Tribeca screening, where I held rock solid between 100 - 150 mg/dl all evening long.  But there have been some disastrous runs, like the night of the Toronto screening, where I was over 280 mg/dl for four hours, despite boluses.  (I eventually took an injection and pulled the site, but the site seemed fine.  I hate when the cause of highs can't be nailed down.)  I'm testing a lot, but my body isn't responding to things normally.  Foods that I'm usually able to tolerate, numbers-wise, are now throwing me into the stratosphere  or tossing me into the trenches.  I'm living on a steady diet of coffee and lip gloss.  Infusion sets are staying in for four days at a time (instead of the three days I had committed to while pregnant - absorption is so much better when you follow the damn rules) and I think the last time I changed my lancet was when BSparl was born.  

I'm a hot mess.  And not in that cool way.  More in that "Geez, Kerri, you think you're cured or something, the way you've been acting lately" way.  (Note:  Haven't been cured.  Just a very scattered diabetic these days.)

I'm not sure if these hiccups seem more dramatic because they're in contrast to the very tight, very obsessive control I had while pregnant, but in any event, I'm not pleased with my lack of commitment to sparkle motion.  (see also:  hot mess)  But I have to get things back under control.  Events for Chris seem to be coming up every week, and I want to be physically ready to attend with him.  (As in, I don't want to be 39 mg/dl.  Or 399 mg/dl.)  And this is all without mentioning my smiley little daughter, who would do well to have a mom who isn't bouncing all over the blood sugar map.  

The next six weeks will be challenging for me, as both a diabetic and a new mom, because it's sort of non-stop until the holidays.  And even though the events are coming and going, the diabetes isn't.  I can't spend the next six weeks winging it.  I need to find a way to do these things without sacrificing all of my diabetes control.

I can do this.  If I was able to get my terrified arse on a propeller plane, I can wrangle in a blood sugar or two. 

Comments

Bless your heart! The crazy schedule, the new baby, the moving... it's no wonder you're all over the map! I hope things straighten out for you soon. :)

There is nothing more frustrating to me than testing and thinking, what the hell? Where did that high/low come from?

Don't be too hard on yourself - you had amazing control during the pregnancy and now you're back to a big more hectic schedule where the focus may be on other things. Hang in there and hopefully things will begin to smooth out.

You're an inspiration! Thanks for sharing all of your ups and downs with us.

My sugars always go haywire when I travel, although they were fine when I was on MDI...Maybe it's the weird hours and weird food, but I'm also (semi-) convinced it's something to do with stress impacting the physical stress on the body we already get at infusion sites. Which means there's nothing we can do except accept the inevitable. And carry extra candy.

This was a really helpful comment, I know.

I hate the pockets of set-backs. It's hard trying to get your *hat* back in gear -- it's like you have to work extra hard just to get to where you already were.

You can do it, though. We always do, don't we?

Surprisingly, this post made me feel good!

I have been having some troubles with keeping blood sugars down this past month or so, and it's nice to hear that someone else is going through it too. We can get through it!

Sometimes you have to give yourself a "snowday" you know. You have to take a day, and just focus on doing nothing except resting and relaxing,(and cuddling your baby)...you owe it to yourself. Don't forget this important concept over these days leading to the hectic slide to the holidays.

Keeping my fingers crossed that things will settle down soon enough, and that blood sugars will come back to normal.

PS: I don't suppose Amtrak is a viable travel option when doing Chris-related stuff, huh?

I never used to really notice the effects that stress had on my blood sugars until the last year or so. Now? Hot mess, indeed.

It's so hard to carve out the time to log, test 10-15 times a day, hide the diabetes paraphanalia in cute handbags for red carpet outings (oh wait, I've never done that!) and accuratley treat a high/low when so much is going on.

I wish I had more of a helpful comment...I just know how it is and feel your pain! You can do it ~ you ALWAYS do! Take care of yourself, girl!!

Kerri, we T1s know all too well that diabetes control is a consistent rollercoaster, and there will be times of "hey, I can do this!" to "I'm a hot mess and I have to fix this." Life gets in the way sometimes, and you roll with the punches, just like you have been for 24 years with this disease. I don't know of one diabetic who can say that they are "in control," all the time, 24/7. You have a LOT on your plate, lady. Be gentle with yourself and do the best you can--that's all we can do! Stressing about it will make our sugars even more wonky, am I right?

In the meantime, have a great time with all this new stuff. New house, your wee one, movie premieres...pretty rad! Try to relax and enjoy!

And eat more than lipgloss, please! ;)

Hang in there! Everything is somewhat temporary...especially with diabetes control. Enjoy your time with Chris and his achievements! Diabetes does not define you hon!

I love the "snow day" idea! I'm pretty sure I need one TODAY!

Kerri-

Have you stopped breastfeeding as much? With my first son as soon as I did, I was very similar situation as you are in right now.

I attended the Children with Diabetes "Friends for LIfe" conference this year, as you did. Natalie Bellini, nurse educator/CDE extraordinaire from Animas, told us all at a session on infusion sets that NO ONE should ever leave a site in past TWO days. That's what my endo. says, too, and even doing that I have infusion set problems. 4 days is WAY too long!

Emily - I have. You've just made me realize that this could be the problem. I think I need a basal check, stat!

June S. - Four days IS way too long. That's what I said! I also know it's not best to eat cookies when I'm 230 mg/dl. I'm trying my best, my friend.

Oh. Your blog post made me come over here, because it reminded me sooo much of me... er, what I want to be me. Just this week, thought, "I can't wait until this baby is born. I am going to throw caution to the wind for an entire week! I'm only going to test at meals and I'm going to RELAX!"

This is after about a month ago, I said to my husband, "Why can't I be one of the ones who gets to be on bed rest?!" LOL

I'm sure it's normal. I'm hoping you get some down time to relax and get back into the swing of things. Or whatever it is you need in order to get back into the swing of things.

This post was strangely comforting for me because I had an A1C result i was disappointed with this week.... after starting on an upgraded pump and starting to use a CGM, I was sad to be 7.2. But your post reminds me how challenging it is for us to find a balance and keep control.

I have two little girls, and my A1C's were amazing during my pregnancies.... but i could never live with that kind of vigilance and those kinds of lows all the time. I also moved when our first born was 1 and it was so hard! hang in there!

I know how your feeling with wack blood sugars. I started at 98 then what seemed like out of no where the last 24hrs I was over 200. I keep bolusing and did a another set change to find the one I just put in when i was 98 kinked. Tons of boulsing and finally made it back to 143 and 125. I'm just glad to be under 200 right now. This is making me want a CGMS now. Even though the thought of 2 "sets" on my body doesn't sound fun and the reason I haven't got on the CGMS train.

Kerri, First, lol on the last time you changed your lancet....I can relate. Second, relax, you are doing great. You've got lots on your plate. I have to boys and I have to tell you, there is a period after having a baby that your body just does not respond to things like it's supposed to. It takes a while before things get back to normal. Do your best and enjoy your baby. Things will settle back down. xoxo

Kerri,

Glad to see you have gotten through the move, and all the traveling, and with a small baby also!

I must admit, my boy is now 19 months old, and I am only now getting back on track - as silly as that may sound, but everything else always comes first.

But, if you put your mind to it, you know that you can do it.

On September 6, I made the commitment to get in gear. My 14 day average on my meter was at a whopping 9.4 (169 mg/dl) and my latest HbA1C was at 8.2 - high but what my body always ran consistently at, pre-pump. It's now exactly 2 weeks since I have started that commitment to myself, and I have my 14 day meter average down to 6.6 (118 mg/dL) Yay me! e I have been suffering from many lows today, but I am adjusting my pump about every two days and the work is paying of. But, my motivation is hopes for baby #2 -(that's another story) hmm, funny how 'good' we can be when it's for some other little being, isn't it?

And, don't forget - hormones, breastfeeding, etc. all contribute to the unexplainable wacky blood sugars sometimes as well.

I wish you the best in finding your balance, with everything.

Now I know why I stick close to home. :( Sorry to hear (read!) that things aren't textbook these days. (This reminds me.. I had a textbook day Sept. 9th, and I actually wrote TEXTBOOK in the comment section of my log book!) My doctor said that to me after I had my son, and my sugars were everywhere... he had the NERVE to say 'I know you can do this... you've done it already' GRR!! i could have screamed! It's NOT that easy... I think my comeback was something like 'I did better when I was pregnant, maybe I should stay pregnant!'

The last time that I changed my lancet is when my daughter was born and she is 17! It has not been that long but I rarely change it. I love your blog you touch on so many things that I can relate to as T1.

I hate how hard it is to keep everything in control when life gets so busy.

I find that my blood sugar is nutso when I don't get enough sleep. But those events you've been going to are ones where you simply can't refuse! What to do?

I laughed at the lancet comment too. I have BAGS of lancets at home. A huge ziploc bag FULL. That will take me a lifetime to get through! hahaha

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