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Your Mom is Low.

Terrible habit, sarcasm.  Especially the "your mom" retort.  Like when my college roommates are out at the bar and someone asks for another beer.  Instantly, "Your mom wants another beer."  Immature retort?  Indeed.  But almost reflexive at this point?  Unfortunately, indeed again. 

(This intro has a point - bear with me.)

This morning, I woke up with my first bad low in a while.  For the last month or so, I haven't seen lows worse than 55 mg/dl, and my sensitivity to the symptoms seems to have increased a bit.  But while the lows of the last few weeks have felt mild, this morning's 49 mg/dl raked me over a little bit.

I woke up feeling groggy and warm, despite the air conditioning and the fact that I'd slept about seven hours straight.  (Yay for Sleeping-Through-the-Night-in-her-New-Crib BSparl!) The corners of my mouth were numb and I felt like my whole brain was encased in cotton balls.  I reached for the black meter case and brought it close to me in bed.  Fully intended to test.  But instead fell back asleep for a few minutes, with my meter snuggled against me.

Once I did wake back up, it had been another eight minutes.  And my symptoms were progressing, giving rise to shaking hands in addition to the cotton ball veil.  But it's strange, where my brain goes when I'm low.  I had a juice box right on the bedside table.  I knew I was low and didn't need to test to confirm, but I was on some kind of OCD autopilot.  I had to test.  Instead of grabbing the juice from beside me, I instead grabbed my meter from the bed, walked out into the kitchen, and set up the machine on the counter top. 

Sorry for the old photo.  (Your mom is an ... old photo?)

BEEP!

Shunk.

49 mg/dl.

"Okay,"  I said out loud, and took some glucose tabs from the cupboard.  (Chompy, chompy ... always a weird effort to get those things chewed up when I'm that low.) 

And then I heard BSparl stirring in the next room.   Not crying, but just stretching her little BSparly legs and easing into the morning routine.  I went in to stand at the side of her crib while I waited for my blood sugar to rise. 

"Hey sweetie girl.  Good morning!"

She kicked her legs and grinned at me.

"Hi!  Hang on just a few minutes, okay?  I'm having a low blood sugar and I need to wait before I get you up.  Just another minute or so.  I'm low.  Your mom is low."

And I thought of my roommates tossing the "your mom" retorts around with reckless abandon. I stood there giggling like a fool for at least a minute, the smile of irony on my face causing my daughter to bust out with an even bigger smile. 

"That's right, baby girl.  Your mom is low."  

Finally - FINALLY - the "your mom" actually makes sense.  (And with that, I've come full circle.)

Comments

We're going to have to come up with retorts that begin with "Your mom's so low . . . ."

....that's what she said.

I love when overused jokes come to life!

Why do we do that sometimes? We know we are low, why do we want to see? There is something about seeing the number.

Maybe it's because people will ask, "What is the lowest you've been?" Who knows but it seems silly and yet I do it too!

For me, it's because I can "think" I'm low but if I don't check, I could be actually in the 70's or something and end up treating when I'm not really low. And yeah, cause I totes want to see to see how low I've really gotten. Diabetes makes me OCD.

I'm pregnant now and am wondering already about how I'll be as a diabetic mom. I wonder if it will feel like me, baby, and diabetes? (Lord knows diabetes is the third wheel for pregnancy.)

@Jacquie:

Your mom's so low that when Flo-Rida's "Low" comes on and they sing "got low, low, low, low, low", your mom just stays put! =P

ZING!

I agree with Erin. I've had some lows that weren't really all that bad (technically speaking) but that felt awful! I didn't check first, grabbed the juice and ended up way over-corrected. I gotta know just how bad it is to gauge how aggressively I'm gonna attack. (HA! As IF I'm able to be so thoughtful during a low...)

This is such a timely post, as I had my worst low ever this weekend-43 and the symptoms were bad. But, like you, I stood around for a while, then put the meter out on the counter, then got a new bottle of test strips (the old bottle wasn't even empty!), and then tested...By then I was in such a bad state I over treated it. So funny that someone else had this same experience this week...something in the air or the moon, perhaps?!

Your mom's so low (how low is she?) that she pricks her finger once and three blood drops come out.

or

Your mom's so low (how low is she?) that her meter reading is less than her age.

I don't know... that's all I could do off the top of my head. :)

Your mom's so low she thinks froast is actual food.
Your mom's so low she used the same test strip twice.
Your mom's so low she refilled a prescription for "out-sulin."
Your mom's so low she asked for Domino, yo.
Your mom's so low she thinks a quarterback is a refund.

(Could low = brainless? If so, then I've got plenty of these jokes on tap. For your mom.)

Your mom's so low that when the doctor told her to suspend her pump, she hung it in the closet.

Your mom's so low she doesn't need glucose tabs, she needs glucose frisbees.

Your mom's so low, her meter read "WTF."

Your mom's so low that her endo has rediagnosed her with chronic hypoglycemia. A malpractice suit is pending.

Instead of "your Mom" my sister would say "your FACE!" I don't know. But that "your Mom" thing made me think of that.

Out-sulin! HA! SOO funny!!!

@Rachel: My sister and I say 'Your FACE!' all the time too! That is also too funny!

Your mom's so low she tried insterting a test strip into a blackberry (whoops...except I actually did that once.)

How do you open those juice boxes while low? I have trouble with them on a good day!

THAT was funny Kerri!

your mom's so low, she followed the wikipedia link and got lost following links for an hour.


ohhh burrnnnn!!


waitasecond... that was me. and that doesn't make any sense at all!

Your mom's so low, her meter read "WTF." ...LOVE that one!! Made me LOL.

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