Working on my Fitness.
Before BSparl, I went to the gym every day. But wait - I have a good excuse! My then-boyfriend/now-husband already had working out as part of his daily routine. So, in folding our schedules together, I somehow ended up at the gym with him. I can't complain, though. It helps to have a very motivated partner to help keep me motivated.
But I do not really enjoy working out. I'm not one of those endorphin junkies. Of course, it feels good to push my body and to have that limber, stretched feeling, and I really like sports bras and yoga pants (comfy!), but I don't really like to sweat.
Don't get me wrong - I see the benefits of exercise, and not solely from a diabetes perspective. A good workout helps me lower my blood sugars (most of the time, unless it's one of those freak times where exercise makes me higher), increases my muscle mass (which helps me better use insulin), and also helps me maintain my weight (helps ward off insulin resistance). But diabetes stuff aside, I also like the way that exercise keeps me toned up. Before BSparl, I wasn't the slimmest or most fit creature on the planet, but I didn't feel ashamed of how I looked. I felt pretty strong. And my body had a more athletic tone to it, which was nice. And while I'm not a huge fan of the gym, I really like going hiking and riding my bike and doing activities that keep me moving and out of the confines of four walls.
However, now I'm in the After BSparl realm. It's decidedly ... squishier. My body feels and looks completely different to me now. After nine months of a constantly growing belly and hormone levels pinging all over creation, my body is a bit worse for the wear. During the course of my pregnancy, I tried to keep exercising, but by the end of the second trimester, I was starting to puff up. And by the end of the third trimester, I was hospitalized. Not to mention the whole c-section thing, which was my first surgical experience and left me unable to get out of bed comfortably, nevermind start climbing mountains. Today, even four weeks out from BSparl's birthday, my uterus is still in the process of shrinking back to its normal size, leaving my belly flompy and with a nice scar along the southernmost part.
It's hard to look in the mirror these days, especially after working so hard for years to maintain a good weight and decent muscle tone. It's strange to not be able to do sit-ups because (even though I know this is a ridiculous thought) I keep picturing my incision giving way and flapping open. And it's frustrating to wait through the six week healing process until I can start working out again. But I'm trying. And I'll continue to try. Right now, my workouts are limited to long, easy walks on the treadmill. I'm looking forward to lifting even little weights again. (For now, I'm using BSparl as part of my makeshift my resistance training. She's 8 lbs of wiggly weight!)
Every day brings me closer to "healed," and spending all this recovery time snuggling with my daughter isn't a exactly a bad thing. Besides, chasing after her once she's able to crawl will definitely burn some calories! I should rest while I can. :)