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BSparl's Birthday: Part Two.

The door opened and Chris was escorted in by one of the nurses.  He was wearing a bright blue jumpsuit over his clothes, and a face mask to prevent germs from entering the operating room.  My hands, which had been held by one of the nurses (because I asked her to hold my hand because I was scared, I'll admit it), fluttered animatedly and reached for Chris.  

"She's on her way," I said to him as he took his seat up by my shoulder.  He and I were both above the sterile field, listening to the sounds of the procedure as the anesthesiologist gave us the play-by-play as she peeked over the curtain towards my belly.

"Your daughter is almost here.  Just a few more minutes now," she reported.  I could hear her smiling underneath her mask, despite the fact that I couldn't see her face. 

My body was completely numb, but I could still feel the pressure of what was taking place down there.  It was like having dental work done, where you can't feel the pain but you feel the pressure.  I felt them shifting things about inside of me, but it wasn't uncomfortable.  

My obstetrician's voice rang out from below the sheet.  "Ready, Mom and Dad?  She's just about here!"

Chris held my hand, and I felt this enormous shifting inside of me.  And then the sweetest sound I have ever heard broke through the din of the operating room.  The sound reached into my heart and my mind and wrapped around the most vulnerable parts of me and closed tightly, making me feel safe and terrified and excited and … ready.  All at once.  

It was the sound of my baby's first cry.  The child I had been hoping to have for as long as I can remember.

My daughter.

Chris said I burst into tears instantly upon hearing her cry.  I don't really remember all of the details - everything became somewhat of a blur at this point, as the anesthesia worked in combination with the euphoria I was feeling.  A nurse came and asked Chris if he wanted to help wash the baby off.  He took pictures of her while she was being cleaned and weighed and swaddled.  The nurses working on me kept asking if I was okay, and finally let me take off my oxygen mask.  The surgical team worked to put me back together down there. 

So much was going on, but the only soundtrack I could focus on was the sound of my daughter, crying with all her might and proving that her lungs were strong and healthy.  

Suddenly, this little creature was brought to me, wrapped tightly in a white and pink striped blanket, a yellow hat on her head.  She was pouting with her full, little lips, her chin quivering just a little bit as my husband put her in my arms.  

My child.

"Oh, my baby.  It's you.  I'm your mommy.  I love you."  I remember murmuring the same sentences to her, over and over again, marveling at the fact that this tiny baby was just tucked inside of my body, and now she was breathing the same air as me, nestled between her mother and father for the first time in all of our lives.

Even though it took about 40 minutes for the surgical team to close me up and finish the surgery, I was completely absorbed by my child.  Her long eyelashes and her tiny nose.  I thought about how hard I had worked in efforts to make my baby healthy and strong.  How hard I would continue to work to ensure that she and I, and her daddy, would have a long, healthy life together.  Diabetes wasn't part of these moments.  My heart didn't have room for anything that hurt.  I couldn't focus on anything but this incredible moment.

I looked at Chris, who was staring at his baby with wide, tear-filled eyes. 

"This is our baby, Chris.  She's ours.  We did it."

He kissed my forehead, then kissed his daughter's forehead.  

"We did." 

Comments

Well, heck, Kerri, thanks for making me cry. :-)

We were there with you thanks to your sharing the event with us. You make us feel like family. Glad to share in the happiness.

Cheers

Wow. I've always know you have a way with words, but this time you totally had me. This is a 2 tissue blog!!!
How sweet. What a little miracle. God Bless all 3 of you!

Yep, reading this, on my birthday, has made me cry! I'm so happy for you! She IS a little miracle1

I am crying like a chld!
So, so, so happy for you and your family! I think you will never forget this sound of your doughter...the sound of life you and Chris have created! I wish you a great, happy and healthly motherhood!
Kisses and hugs from Slovenija!****

Even just her little tiny hand is so beautiful I want to cry.
I'm so glad you & Chris have her and that she had you & Chris.
You did it!

wwwwwaaaahhhh,... I have tears streaming down my face. That was a beautiful account of bsparls birth!

Well done!

Ahhhhhhh! Such a great and happy story! I can't wait to have one of my own! Glad to share in your little miracle! :)

This post made my heart swell and my eyes tear up. Thank you so much for sharing this with us.

This is a beautiful story, Kerri. Happy birthday indeed. Until today, I had never cried while reading a blog post. Thanks for ruining my street cred =)

My heart is overflowing with joy and happiness for the THREE of you!! It amazes me that a woman who most people who read this blog have never met can touch so many lives and inspire so many people. You are truly an inspiration and I can't think of anyone more deserving than you to be given the gift of motherhood :)

Totally teared up reading this! So happy and excited for you guys!!

Thank you for sharing your baby story with us and congratulations.

Just wonderful. :)

GAH there go the waterworks!

I started shaking when I read about the epidural. I can handle needles and stuff, but not ones I can't see/poke in myself. And the "enormous shifting inside of [you]"?! Ay caramba. I'm teary and freaked out at the same time, but so SO happy for you three!

Wow, Kerri! That is beautiful... I don't cry easy but I am bawling. Thank you for sharing this journey with us. You don't know what an inspiration you are for those of us who are parents of CWD's. Enjoy every moment!! Congrats!

Thanks for sharing. As a labor & delivery nurse who has been in on more c-sections than I can count, I felt like I was right there with out while reading your post. Congratulations, she's beautiful!

OMG Kerri! I'm in tears here! Thanks for letting me relive the birth of my five girls through your words. Our deliveries may not be the same, but the emotions are. God bless you all!

Cograts! this was so touching! Enjoy every moment

So wonderful! Thanks for sharing. :)

YAAAAY PART TWO!!!!

Simply awesome, Kerri, thank you so much for sharing this with us. It means so much to those of us hoping to follow in your footsteps. Thank you.

How awesome! Thanks for sharing. I'll admit I'm a jealous - after both my c-sections they whisked the babies off, worried their blood sugars would go low, so their first hour of life was spent with nurses with Daddy watching.
Your birth story made me cry too. I'm so very happy BSparl is here!

yup- I'll join the others.....I am crying too

oh kerri, you've just brought me to tears! What a beautiful story!

I was crying by the second paragraph of Part 1. I'm equal parts amazed and maybe a bit horrified (you know - all that stuff about birth that doesn't get told - the stark naked and feeling your insides being shifted around part). Even though we knew two weeks ago how the story ended (spoiler alert: healthy happy beautiful baby!!) thank you for sharing the whole story with us. :)

OMG. Total water-works flowing! This post was written beautifully. I felt as if I was in the room to share your joy. (Of course, all of your posts feel that way - like I'm right there with you.)
Once again, congratulations to you and Chris.

Wow.

There are so many things in life I cannot understand on my own, but every so often someone describes a personal expeirence that explains why a particular decision or action is so important. This is one of those times.

Niagara Falls here (:-)

Congratulations, motherhood is the most amazing thing you'll ever do, all if it truly awesome from the pregnancy, to giving birth, to the actual raising of your baby, all of it the good, the bad and the ugly is the best thing you'll ever do.

Congratulations, motherhood is the most amazing thing you'll ever do, all if it truly awesome from the pregnancy, to giving birth, to the actual raising of your baby, all of it the good, the bad and the ugly is the best thing you'll ever do.

And here's another one, blubbering at her desk. Again, congratulations! Best of everything to you and Chris and your precious baby. (And oh my goodness, do you have a way with words or what?!)

Wow.
Thanks for sharing such a private moment. It fills me with hope and inspiration for the future, for when I go through something similar. Also, I'm no longer afraid of C-sections, which could be in my future too.
Thank you.
Going to show your blog to my guy now. :)
Thanks again and enjoy your newly-expanded family!

Wow... what a sweet story, Kerri! Like many others have said, I too was in tears reading this! Congrats to the new family!!

This is the first time you made me cry. I hope someday I can have a husband as wonderful as yours and a baby of my own.

Once again I am bawling my freakin eyes out at work! Kerri, I am so happy for all of you. My husband and I are 11 weeks along with our first babe, and I cannot thank you enough for sharing your BSparl-making journey. You are an inspiration to us all!

You are getting me all chocked up. That was beautiful and it brings back memories for me 17 yrs ago when My Identicial twin girls were born. Thanks for sharing

Wonderful post! I'm crying here at work too. :) Thanks for sharing your story with us.

Seriously incredible post. Congratulations again, Sparlings!

Yes you both did it....

Congratulations again on the three of you becoming a family (oh and your pussy cats too)....wishing you all the best in your new journey together....and what a wonderful one it will be...

Happy Parenting
Love Always
Carolyn
~xxx~

Thank you for sharing. It brought back so many memories for me.

OH man water works! Congrats! Life is so great.

As a 37 year old type 1 about to undergo my second round of IVF, hoping and just hoping this will be the time it works, I can't help but be overjoyed for you. I want to be a mother so badly, but worry so much about my body failing me (never mind all the diabetic stuff to worry about), and never being able to experience this joy. For now, I will live vicariously through you, and continue the hope that someday I can experience this as well. Much love to you and your family, Kerri!

Congratulations !!! Beautiful fingers...It reminded me of a similar picture I took of my daughter when she was born !

Pass the box of tissued my way please! Takes me back 6½ years - one of the best moments ever.

What a precious hand in hand picture! Congratulations and thanks for sharing your story.

Oh Kerri, I think we are all crying. Well, tears of joy for all of you. You are such an inspiration to me and give me hope that one day I will be able to do the same. My boyfriend (of 6 years - future husband, and future baby's daddy) has found a deeper interest in my diabetes after reading your journey and how Chris was there for you. He wants to be able to be there for me in the same way. Congrats. A million times over.

Goodness! I didn't cry when my own daughter was born, but i certainly did reading about your daughter's birth! Then again my daughter's birth wasn't quite so eloquently narrated. :) Beautiful birth story - and congratulations again mummy Kerri!!

And for one previous poster...I'm a 34 yr old type 1 and both my daughter and the 15 week old bean in my belly were conceived by IVF. I keep my fingers crossed for you!

Kerri and Chris, so happy for the two of you!

Now, to wipe the tears away and get back to work. (glad I have a closed office)

Welcome to the world, little girl!

Kerri, your story is so touching and so familiar. I remember my daughter's birth-day so well, even though it's been almost a year. Congratulations! Enjoy her!

Wow Kerri, that is simply amazing.

that is so beautifully written...

CONGRATULATIONS! I'm very happy for you!

Welcome, BSparl!

how wonderful... I am so happy for you and your family!
You can read as many book as you want that tell you about the birth of your child, but you never know what it feels like to witness a miracle, until you do...
Congratulations!

Oh boy. You really got me with the water works this time. Thank you for sharing this with everyone :)

I think I just posted a non-comment. Ooops! Been one of those days. But your lovely account of the birth of your little girl is such a nice way to wrap up an otherwise stressful day for me! Just beautiful. And I adore those teeny little fingers!

Congratulations you THREE!!! You have brought me to tears - I am so happy for you! And thank you for breathing life into my hopes of becoming a mom one of these days (though the idea of c section is FRIGHTENING)

:)

Beautiful start to a awesome future with Bsparl. Enjoy it because she'll grow up fast.

beautiful. Along with everyone else I was crying too! I'm just so happy for you! I hope that one day I get to experience that joy :)

Beautiful. Just beautiful.

A lovely, lovely story. I too was waiting for the "and they took her away to the NICU..." but seriously, how delightful that she stayed with you!! :) All that hard work to get her here safely - totally paid off in a nano second of seeing her in her perfection. Such a heart warmer. Congratulations.

PS: They do grow so fast - our baby girl is 9 months tomorrow - and it still feels like it has been just weeks, not months!

ditto here..crying as well. Wonderfully written. Time to write a book Kerri!!

Congratz again on the beautiful baby and simply 'Good Job'. You guys did it!

Beautiful Kerri,congratulations to you and Chris!

The first part was so scary to read, but the second part made it all worthwhile! What an amazing feeling that must be. Congratulations to both, no, ALL THREE of you! You give me hope as a T1 diabetic who faces IVF. Thank you so much for sharing.

Oh Kerri, I'm completely in tears right now. Thank you so much for sharing. You give me so much hope!!!

I had my endo's "go ahead" this month, and we began our journey of trying to have a baby! Me too, I want to become a mom for as long as I can remember, so your story fills me with hope.

I've never had any kind of surgery before either, or even an I.V. as well. So your post really made me less anxious about a c-section. Thank you!

BSparl is really beautiful and you have done such a great job!!!

CONGRATULATIONS to the three of you. You guys make such a beautiful family!!!

*siiiiiiiiigh* *sniffle* That was gorgeous, Kerri. Congratulations to you and Chris and welcome to the world, little BSparl.

What a beautiful, beautiful baby. So worth all of the effort and care you have taken to make sure she got the best possible start.

You even have us crying across the ocean here in Scotland! You are an inspiration. Thank you for sharing.

As the mother of an eight year old daughter with diabetes this was so beautiful and hopeful for me to read. Thank you for sharing your experience. I know there are many diabetics having healthy deliveries and babies, but it is one of my fears for her and reading this brought comfort. Thank you and God bless your family.

ohhh KERRI! that was so gorgeous. thank you.

Tears of joy over here for you....

Thank you for the message back on my blog. It is so nice to hear from someone who already lived the stage that S is living now. I've never really thought about the time in her life when she will realize all her family has done for her. When she does I hope she feels very loved and blessed.

Okay, so most of the time your quirky and fun posts keep me laughing, but how in the heck could I prevent myself from welling up while reading these two posts! Congratulations Kerri and Chris! She couldn't be more beautifully perfect.

Congratulations! I admit I was worried about you. I'm glad both you and BSparl are well - more than well! It's a scary but exhilarating experience, isn't it? I'm just amazed you're posting at all. I too gave birth at BIDMC - the nurses are great! And everyone gives you confidence they've got things in hand - even if they don't have the best sense of humor.;)

A hearty congratulations!

This probably isn't that relevant to most people reading this, but I adore the fact that you didn't miss a beat with blogging. You rock!

Just catching up, as I've been away, but I had to comment.

Awesome. And beautiful. Thanks so much for sharing. And congratulations again!

What a beautiful little miracle! We are waiting to adopt our miracle. I'm so glad you were able to have a successful delivery with such a gorgeous baby. What a better way to learn to live w/ the pain than to have a little angel and just forget about it altogether.

Many, many blessings,
~Dana~

YOU are a miracle too!
Judy Westerfield

Wow, Kerri. I see births everyday in my work as a L&D nurse, but your description of the event gave me goose bumps. I love hearing about the experience from a patient reflection. Congratulations. Enjoy every moment! I know everyone says, "It goes by sooo fast" and as you are in the midst of midnight feedings and diaper changes sometimes it feels as if the challenging aspects of parenting will never end, but I assure you, it does fly by. Enjoy it. Blog every moment. Photograph her everyday. Snuggle her as often as possible! Cheers to a successful pregnancy and a beautiful birth!
C~

My son was born March 26th and this brought me right back to that day.

Funny how diabetes and other negative things just fade to the side on days like that...

I am type I and just realized I am pregnant! reading your article, although difficult with these tears in my eyes, gave me hope and made my fear turn into happiness and impatience. Thanks for sharing such an special moment with us, it definitely made me stronger! All the best to the three of you,

M.

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