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Looking Back: The Beginning.

I am SO itching to write my updates from Sundance, including posting photos and really describing how unreal this has been for my husband, but Internet access is pretty crap here, and I've had a lot of trouble keeping up with the online world.  Monday, I'm all over it. :)

What did dawn on me is how much has changed in the last 4 1/2 years, since I started this blog.  Back then, I had a different last name, lived in my own little apartment in South County, RI, and worked at a job that made my skin crawl.  I didn't know another soul who had diabetes, nevermind having access to hundreds of other people with diabetes who really "get it," you know? 

It's strange, chronicling life with diabetes and seeing how much has changed in the last few years. So much has happened, from moving to Connecticut and then planning a wedding and then marrying Chris, and then all the stuff with our respective careers and now little Ms. BSparl?  Some really tough times, some really triumphant times, and all the gray (like Siah) parts in between, many shared with you guys. 

And it started with one crappy little post back in May 2005, when I was just learning what the hell a blog ("blaaaaaaaaahgh") was, and how it could help me heal, emotionally, in the ways I didn't realize I was a little broken.

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My name is Kerri.

I could go through the hassle of establishing a non de plume, but I wasn't thinking when I set this up and I signed in with my real name. Note to Potential Stalkers: Please don't.

The purpose of this is to make contact with other diabetics. It's one of those diseases (or maybe they're all this way, I'm not sure) where even if you have the mechanics of it completely mastered, the psychological battle is just as daunting. Every time I test my bloodsugar, the result stirs me up emotionally. If I'm high, I feel guilty. Or surprised. Or angry. If I'm low, I feel anxious. And slightly panicky. Or confused. A normal reading level might make me feel cocky. Or successful. But they all make me feel something. And it's not just physiological. There is so much involved in the daily maintenance of diabetes that a support network isn't just nice, it's necessary.

Reach out. Ask questions. Answer the litany I'm sure to ask. Network network network. And when that doesn't work, just repeat repeat repeat.

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Funny how everything has changed, but absolutely nothing's changed.  (Thanks for the line, Eddie Vedder.) How long have you been blogging, and what made you decide to take the leap into the online unknown?

Comments

I started in October 2009, so I am a newbie! I started for selfish reasons because I needed an outlet, a place to just put my thoughts and potentially get some feedback. I wanted to post what I was thinking and feeling because I thought that others should know, so they could maybe understand the girl in the back of the classroom that randomly gets up and walks out. So that the guy that is constantly putting fingers in his pockets might be able to explain why his fingers are all dotted.

Yours was one of the first blogs I read, and I started blogging about diabetes for the same reasons (though I have since stopped blogging about it exclusively). I was amazed to find that there were actually so many others out there, whereas before I had felt like "the only one". Not only that, but blogging helped me to accept the fact that you bring up, that it's not just the mechanics of diabetes which are difficult but also the psychological aspect. Before, I felt as if that psychological battle was something I should keep quiet, something that I shouldn't recognize... But being part of a community where so many people were vocal about it has been tremendously helpful.

I started about a week ago! I have just started the insulin pumps but couldn't find any blogs about the first few steps of the journey on the pump. In fact, it was your blog which helped me make the final decision to go on the pump. Because for once, reading a post from a positive (but down to earth) person made me go for it.

Thanks Kerri, thanks for saying it like it all really is

You must be tired of the times I have talked about how this all started and yet, the story is still so close to my heart.

Yay Eddie Vedder and No stalkers!

Can't wait to hear about the Sun Dancing or whatever.

You were maybe the third blog I read about diabetes. Which isn't say much since I think there were only about 5 diabetes blogs out there to begin with! I started mine just a few months after you, in July. I can't believe how far we have both come in 5 years, me from a college student in Oregon to a professional in NYC, and you from a lady who hated her job in RI to a married mother in Boston with a kickass freelance career.

We are rock stars, no doubt about it.

I started blogging before I was diagnosed with diabetes, and I did it because I thought I needed one to follow another blog, of a girl I had a crush on. I started blogging in April 2004, and was diagnosed with diabetes September 2006 (type 1, at age 17). I lost a lot of readers by writing obsessively about diabetes for a while. So then I made a new diabetes blog but really I shouldn't've, because I still mostly post in the old blog.

Love Vedder and your blog, Thanks for doing what you do. I hate to be a "lyric police"..but actual lyric is "everything has chains...absolutely nothing's changed..." From the song 'Corduroy'. But than again, your way could work in the song too.
Now where's that "Bathroom on the right"??

Started almost a year ago. After a hospital scare with my husband, we searched for info to share with our young daughter on diabetes. It was quite the search. We realized that there were few or no blogs or websites written by families living with diabetes. My husband and I take turns writing and venting about our personal and collective frustrations and how it all comes together in the end. It's been a great outlet and a great experience for the both of us as we've drawn closer and opened up to each other more. Thanks Kerri for a great website!

I started blogging in April of 2007. And YOU were the reason I decided to reach out. I, like you, was looking for a support system. People who "got it". And through your dLife posts, I found this blog. And it's just gone from there. :) It's made my world a much richer place having all of you in it. I'm glad I found you and the rest of the D-OC

Lou - I can't stop laughing right now. I SUCK with lyrics. (Like when I found out - recently - that the song "Night Moves" wasn't, in fact, "Night Moose.") I need the lyrics police to follow me everywhere. I'm pathetic :)

I started blogging because of my kid. I wanted to be a crafty scrapbooking mom, but since I've accidentally Krazy-glued my fingers together more than once, I probably won't ever achieve that goal. So instead, I turned to the blogosphere to keep a sort of living "baby" book. It's turned out to be a wonderful creative outlet for me as well as a constant reminder of how motherhood is not for sissies...(brace yourself, Kerri!)

Hey Kerri,
Great post about the beginning. I just started blogging, partly because of YOU and your great blog. I wanted some outlet for the new normal that we are now in as a family with a PWD in it. I do it more for me, but the whole blogging experience has been wonderful in developing a wide sense of community, of other moms who 'get it.' It has proved invaluable.

I'm newer at the diabetes blogging, though I've been blogging nonD since 2007. Hmm, what was it? I had a crappy cholesterol reading this past fall... then a crappy [for me] a1c. I guess I was just ready to reach out. :D Found you here, then a few others. And thought, I need to blog for myself, to keep track of me. I need an online diabetes camp--that's what I needed because I'd never been to diabetes camp. :D Now I'm feeling better, accounted for, got my CGM and a 5.8 a1c, which we are not considering the value of... ;-) LOL

You had a lovely blog. I love the color scheme.

Kerri,
Congrats to you and Chris. I'm a big film dork and follow Sundance every year, but it was such a weird experience to see articles about Buried and Chris and think, hey, I kind of know him... (For fellow blog readers, here is a link to the announcement that a distributor bought Chris' film: http://www.hitfix.com/articles/2010-1-24-liongate-unearths-3-million-plus-for-ryan-reynolds-buried

I really feel like I do know you (and Chris through your stories about him) which is the sign of a truly great writer. Thanks for allowing me a peek behind the curtain into what life with diabetes is like on a daily basis. I have a close family member with diabetes and I feel like I understand her so much better now that I read your blog. I have a chronic illness of my own that I'm pretty much stuck with for the rest of my life so I'm trying to make the most of it. It is amazing how many of the same chronic illness experiences apply. The guilt for not taking care of yourself better, the nosy people who think they know what is best for your body better than you do yourself, the lack of spontaneity inherent in always having to be prepared for how you will feel no matter where you go, and most of all, the feeling of comfort in knowing that you are not alone :) Thanks for giving me that comfort, Kerri!

Hello,

Thanks for a wonderful post on the beginnings.

I started blogging in August 2009 when someone on the ADA Type 2 message board asked what blogs we followed or if any of us blogged. I've found that there aren't a lot of blogs, at least that I've found, written by Type 2 diabetics. I sometimes feel like I have it easy in the diabetic world since I'm diet/exercise controlled (no meds), but a lot harder in the non-diabetic world because I can't eat something like a Burger King Whopper meal with french fries and soda without my glucose levels going through the roof. Sometimes I feel like I'm between two worlds. As you can tell, I like to ramble which is why my bog is called RFamHere's Ramblings.

I forgot to mention that you commented on my first blog post which encourages me to keep going. I have no idea if anyone reads my blog, but seeing as though I got a comment right after starting it... Thanks!

This was one of the first diabetes blogs I read. Six Until Me - a classic! My husband and I started asweetlife.org after my type 1 diagnosis last year. (He was diagnosed in 2002). I saw how much connecting with another diabetic helped me, and it made me want to reach out to others.

Hello. I've stumbled across your blog from another mom of a T1 diabetic. My daughter is 6 and has been diabetic since she was 2. She's on a pump now and it's good...but so much like starting all over again...

Anyway, nice to 'meet' you and I'll be back to read more :)

Stacy

Thanks for that first post Kerri. I started in July 2006 and the first several posts were awful, but gradually I've settled down. Over the last 3+ years I've met some great d-friends both online and in person, including Kerri. My diabetes control is way better. I'm thankful for the help and support that I get online every day of the year.

I started blogging earlier this month - mainly because I enjoy reading others entries so much...I wanted to contribute as well.

I started blogging in August 2008, three months after my two year old daughter was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. I needed to find other people who could relate to what we were going through and was so relieved to find such a strong and supportive community online.

Kerri, you wrote some encouraging words on an emotional post of mine that meant more to me than you are likely aware. I've been following your blog and following your advice to keep blogging ever since. Thank you.

Hi Kerri. I have enjoyed touching down on your blog several times over the past month that my daughter (8) has been diagnosed with type 1. Her diabetes has been both an eye-opening and frightening experience for us. I just wanted to say I appreciate your candor and honesty and openness in letting us into your life. Thirty days ago I ventured on the same sort of journey with my daughter and I can only imagine where it will take us. But your words and attitude demonstrate that having diabetes does not make life without envy only possible, but something very much achievable. Thank you.

Wow, we have so much in common! As a newlywed, I'm still getting used to my new last name, and my husband's (!) name is also Chris.

But this week he was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes at the age of 25. It's really overwhelming, the fear, the learning curve, the life I didn't know to expect. Thanks for making it seem much friendlier than the rest of the internet:)

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