It's been three weeks since my Joslin appointment and in that time, the accountability train, and thankfully, it hasn't derailed. Or smashed into me.
But also in that time, I traveled to Spain, had plenty of wonky lows while traveling, didn't have internet access, and battled the time-space continuum, in addition to working plenty of hours at dLife before the trip and upon my return. Stress levels? Not at their lowest. Also, logging opportunities? Minimal.
But DUDE. I'm still doing it.
Thanks to the power of the Kevin Spreadsheet and the fact that I sit on my rear end all day long, staring into the abyss of my work Mac, and also thanks to the jazzy little Ann Taylor flashdrive I picked up at BlogHer, I actually have logbooks that mean something. And I've actually stayed up on them for the last three weeks.
Note: I hate logging. I always have. I may always hate it, but the undeniable fact is that logging makes me accountable, too. Seeing those numbers and the patterns they form forces me to recognize tricky trends and gives me enough perspective to make tweaks. But I do so despise it. It's a pain in the arse.
The toughest part has been logging day-of. Before we went to Spain, I was at work and able to keep the spreadsheet open on my desktop and update it as needed, never really breaking from work to fill in the gaps, but just keeping up with things as they happened. And at night, I'd plug in the flash drive late at night, fill it in, and then start again the following day. It was a tedious system, but I kept up with it.
Spain, on the other hand, was much harder. No computer on hand during the day, difficult to track and log food (nevermind counting the stupid carbs) while we were exploring Barcelona, and even though the clock said 6 pm, my body was screaming, "Midnight, woman!!!!!" If it hadn't been for the Dexcom, I would have completely lost control. But since that Bad Larry was keeping me between the lines - literally - it helped me stay reasonably even.
Upon our return, it was hard to get back into the swing, but knowing my next Joslin appointment is next Friday helped get my priorities straight. Right now, I have three neat little spreadsheets on my Flash drive, with 100% of the blood sugar results and about 70% of the insulin doses and food logs intact. Chris is helping with my food and calculating carbs for me so that there isn't so much SWAG bolusing. This, my faithful readers, is flipping progress for this girl.
My 7 day machine average is down to 125 mg/dl. My 30 day is 130 mg/dl. This is with fewer highs and fewer lows (aside from a few episodes while traveling), which makes me feel more confident that I'm truly holding steady and not just averaging out. I feel sickly when my blood sugar is 180 mg/dl, which means I'm becoming more sensitive to highs and also not as used to them. (A major plus.) My A1C came back at 7.1% last time - a .5% drop from the time prior - and I'm certain that next week will show even more improvement.
I'm not messing around. I can't. I'm on a mission. :)
Another Stupid Note: I'm not posting these numbers to brag. Or to elicit criticism. For me, these numbers are - for the most part - an improvement and I am using both Joslin and SUM as my tools for accountability. So when you see the graphs and you see my machine average, don't think I'm inviting your commentary on my actual results. Your diabetes may vary, and mine sure as hell does, too. Cool? Cool.
So next week, I'll toddle off to Joslin with four spreadsheets crammed with information and hopefully a cool head. Chris and I will talk to them about making changes, and I'll leave feeling more in control. Even if the numbers don't improve as fast as my attitude towards them, I still need to move forward as efficiently as possible.