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Staying Accountable.

It's been three weeks since my Joslin appointment and in that time, the accountability train, and thankfully, it hasn't derailed.  Or smashed into me. 

Yet.

But also in that time, I traveled to Spain, had plenty of wonky lows while traveling, didn't have internet access, and battled the time-space continuum, in addition to working plenty of hours at dLife before the trip and upon my return.  Stress levels?  Not at their lowest.  Also, logging opportunities?  Minimal.

But DUDE.  I'm still doing it.  

Thanks to the power of the Kevin Spreadsheet and the fact that I sit on my rear end all day long, staring into the abyss of my work Mac, and also thanks to the jazzy little Ann Taylor flashdrive I picked up at BlogHer, I actually have logbooks that mean something.  And I've actually stayed up on them for the last three weeks. 

Note:  I hate logging.  I always have.  I may always hate it, but the undeniable fact is that logging makes me accountable, too.  Seeing those numbers and the patterns they form forces me to recognize tricky trends and gives me enough perspective to make tweaks.  But I do so despise it.  It's a pain in the arse

The toughest part has been logging day-of.  Before we went to Spain, I was at work and able to keep the spreadsheet open on my desktop and update it as needed, never really breaking from work to fill in the gaps, but just keeping up with things as they happened.  And at night, I'd plug in the flash drive late at night, fill it in, and then start again the following day.  It was a tedious system, but I kept up with it.

Spain, on the other hand, was much harder.  No computer on hand during the day, difficult to track and log food (nevermind counting the stupid carbs) while we were exploring Barcelona, and even though the clock said 6 pm, my body was screaming, "Midnight, woman!!!!!"  If it hadn't been for the Dexcom, I would have completely lost control.  But since that Bad Larry was keeping me between the lines - literally - it helped me stay reasonably even.

Upon our return, it was hard to get back into the swing, but knowing my next Joslin appointment is next Friday helped get my priorities straight.  Right now, I have three neat little spreadsheets on my Flash drive, with 100% of the blood sugar results and about 70% of the insulin doses and food logs intact.  Chris is helping with my food and calculating carbs for me so that there isn't so much SWAG bolusing.  This, my faithful readers, is flipping progress for this girl. 

My 7 day machine average is down to 125 mg/dl.  My 30 day is 130 mg/dl.  This is with fewer highs and fewer lows (aside from a few episodes while traveling), which makes me feel more confident that I'm truly holding steady and not just averaging out.  I feel sickly when my blood sugar is 180 mg/dl, which means I'm becoming more sensitive to highs and also not as used to them.  (A major plus.)  My A1C came back at 7.1% last time - a .5% drop from the time prior - and I'm certain that next week will show even more improvement. 

I'm not messing around.  I can't.  I'm on a mission.  :) 

Another Stupid Note:  I'm not posting these numbers to brag.  Or to elicit criticism.  For me, these numbers are - for the most part - an improvement and I am using both Joslin and SUM as my tools for accountability.  So when you see the graphs and you see my machine average, don't think I'm inviting your commentary on my actual results.  Your diabetes may vary, and mine sure as hell does, too.  Cool?  Cool.

So next week, I'll toddle off to Joslin with four spreadsheets crammed with information and hopefully a cool head.  Chris and I will talk to them about making changes, and I'll leave feeling more in control.  Even if the numbers don't improve as fast as my attitude towards them, I still need to move forward as efficiently as possible.

Good control is RIGHT on the horizon.  I can feel it.

Comments

WOOHOO you go girl! i need to get me a kevin spreadsheet. i hate logging (on paper) with a passion, and i'm at a computer day and night...might as well take advantage!

I, too, and planning a pregnancy in the next year and I am seriously trying to get myself on the logging and CGMs boat to achieve this goal. you're journey is so helpful - please keep us all up to date on your progress. it is inspiring!!

What you are doing is an inspiration! I also despise logging and after reading about Kevin's spreadsheet on your blog, I did get one. But I have yet to use it. Hah. At least I took the first step. Thank you for setting such a great example Kerri!

That sounds great. When we go on vacation with my little one, I have a small notebook that I write down the carbs for each meal as we dose them - since we are often dosing with multiple boluses as she eats more food, it helps us keep track of the boluses along the way AND the overall - and a great record when we get back and need to record it. Other than that, I computer log too and its great!

I'm glad for you! I wish I had half your determination. Good luck at Joslin next week.

I hear what you're saying about the 'your Diabetes may vary' and not trying to illicit responses specifically about your numbers. I believe in a much earlier post my response to those people was "F the haters." That remains true.

But thinking about what you wrote about being accountable to yourself, I think reading stuff like this can be a form of motivation for others. There is a big smiley face watermarked on this post, I'm sure anyone that is familiar with your quest for control and offspring can sense it. I read that you are feeling great about your control and have to believe that someone out there will read this and say 'well Kerri is feeling good and her numbers are great, maybe I'll feel great if I can get my own Diabetes under control.' Obviously to each their own, but positive vibes are contagious.

*golf clap*

My purse is always weighed down by too many notebooks & scraps of paper with logging notes and such. If anyone ever finds an easy way to keep track when you're not always on the computer, I'd love to know. (That's why my weekend logging and such tends to send me off into fits of blood sugar rage!)

Great job Kerrie. I am impressed! Keep up the good work! We are all rooting for you.

I hate logging too. I just started doing it for the first time since I was probably 12. It's paying off though. :)

Logging has always been my challenge, too.

Recently I discovered you can email (or tweet) to sugar stats, and that's helped me a ton. Looking at an open spread sheet all day makes me obsessive, so being able to send the numbers off into the abyss is nice. Then I'm only analyzing numbers when it's necessary and useful.

Great progress Kerri!

Congrats, Kerri! I feel inspired to starting logging again... right now!
Thanks for helping us all want to keep on track.

Great job! I'm also trying to get "ready." So far, the numbers are down to 140-150 average. I'd like them to be 110-120. Where can one get Kevin's spreadsheet? I've browsed his blog and didn't see any XLS downloads.

1) I love that you used the term "bad Larry". I haven't heard that in forever and a day.

2) I hope I didn't kill you with carbs the other night.

Where can I get a hold of "Kevin's Spreadsheet?" Sounds like a very useful tool and I could use some accountability here lately. :)

Duplicating others' comments - I too am "preparing" and am wanting to know "where to find Larry's spreadsheet?" Another question - Ann Taylor flash drive, where did you find that? Best of Luck!

Good for you!! What a lot of hard work. However, please consider switching to the minimed CGMS system. Honestly, it makes life so much easier. You do not have to log at all. The numbers are all there for you to see in many different ways. I love,love, love it!!Okay...I tried Now I promise to shut up.

Laura - I am so glad that the Minimed CGM works for you. I'm actually always happy to hear people having a good experience with the Minimed CGM, because my personal experience was that it didn't fit into my life very well (even though I still have a Minimed pump). So I'm glad you're sharing your positive experiences here ... but I'm happy with what works for me. :)

I may always hate it, but the undeniable fact is that logging makes me accountable, too. Seeing those numbers and the patterns they form forces me to recognize tricky trends and gives me enough perspective to make tweaks.

yeah. You're not alone. I need to get the software that hooks from the BGM to the PC. Bing, Bang, Boom. Downloaded, charted and printed. LOL I know it's out there. Had a doctor who used it...at one point in my life. It's hard to stay on top of the logging beast for me, too. Sounds like you are doing great, though. Keep it up.
~Bethanne

This post made me happy. I am excited for you.

I have been logging since I was diagnosed in January.. I don't mind it. Not sure if/when I'll stop.

Wonderful A1C! 7.1? !?!? That's awesome!!!!

I suggest using the MiniMed Carelink. It works great and really provides a tremendous amount of information with minimal effort.

Remember Joe S's talk? You don't have to like it, you just have to do it.

Go ahead and hate it for all it's worth, but keep up the good work with the logging. :)

Ahh, Kerri, good for you!

I am actually on the "other side" now. I've been pregnant or breastfeeding or getting ready to be pregnant for the past six years. Now my youngest (and last baby) is about to turn 1, and I have totally lost that motivation to log, to count those carbs, to check basals, bolus ratios, all that fun stuff. Now I'm struggling with finding that motivation I had. But your post helped me and I put back on my cgm today. (It's still not working yet, but at least I'm tryining :)

Also, you are so lucky to have your husband's support with counting carbs and helping with meal planning. So nice to have someone helping with at least part of the puzzle.

Good luck at Joslin!

Great job Kerri! Thanks for the update - we are all pulling for you!!!

Your post just inspired me to download my son's OmniPod data to run some reports, which I haven't done recently. While I was doing it my son, who lives with type 1, asked me to show him how to download the data. He then sat with me to look at his last week of numbers. Thank you Kerri for your continued inspiration.

Your blog gave me the inspiration and the means to start logging again. I downloaded that Islet app for my iPhone. Very, very helpful. I mean, I may be constantly attempting to manage a chronic disease, but I'm doing it ON AN IPHONE! That makes me cool, right?

Way to go Kerri!

I'm *really* proud of you for keeping up on it through all of the crazy that the Spain trip (and the crazy pre and post Spain trip) was. Fantastic!

Hi - I would love to get a copy of Kevins spreadsheet = can you please tell me how I can get a copy - I just stumbled across it for the first time -
Thanks for the info
Nancy

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