There's stuff that's bolus-worthy. New York style cheesecake. Chai tea on a snowy winter day. Wedding cake made out of red velvet with butter cream frosting. These indulgences are worth draining my pump reservoir for, and almost worth the spike I try to, but don't always, avoid.
I've been very, very attentive to my diabetes lately. Logging all these numbers, sporting the Dexcom, trying to manage stress levels, exercising ... whatever it takes to make me as healthy as I can be for the baby I want to have someday. But that wagon is hard to stay on all the time, and I have taken a risk or two in the last month. Like a trip on the Connecticut Wine Trail with some friends. And some pasta at Carmine's last weekend with my sister-in-law.
And blueberry swirl cupcakes from Crumbs Bakery.
My diabetes control isn't made or broken in one bite of a fluffy, delicious cupcake. Usually when I'm having a high sugar indulgence, I'm right on top of things, diabetes-wise. I bolus aggressively to avoid the high and I watch that Dexcom like a hawk for any subsequent lows. My management problems come more in the form of letting my numbers go untracked and pinging all over the place, letting highs creep up without corrections, then stacking boluses until I hit a nasty low, which I over-treat and rebound into a high ... you know the cycle. It's not the "one thing" but more my inability to care for more than an hour or two. The last few weeks of intensive management have been about keeping an eye on everything and not letting the cycle spin out of control.
And it's hopefully working. My machine averages are down, I'm seeing many hours straight of flat-lines on the CGM, and knowing my Joslin appointment is at the end of July keeps my mind on task.
Besides, it's not like I ate the whole cupcake. I split it with Chris and I asked for the estimated carb count before I took a bite.
But I did take the first, awkward bite.
And I did enjoy every other bite of it, too. Go ahead and judge! :)