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The Guy with the Heart Pin.

I.  Said.  HEART.(This has nothing to do with diabetes, but I had to tell this story at a dinner a few days ago and it made me blush all over again.)

When I was in college, I met my mother for dinner at a town halfway between her office and my dorm.  We decided on an Italian chain restaurant and asked to be put in a corner booth.  

"We're kind of loud," my mom said.

So we settled into our table and ordered our food from the waiter, who was wearing a white button down shirt, a red vest, and a black apron.  (And pants.  Don't get all crazy on me.)  After our waiter walked away to place our order with the kitchen, my mother noticed that a bus boy, clearing tables, was wearing a bright red  heart pin on his collar.

"Mom, do you know what that pin means?"

I always notice pins, ribbons, and other awareness jewelry. 

"No.  Our waiter didn't have one.  Ask him, he's right over there."

So I leaned across our table a bit and said, pretty loudly:  "Excuse me?  Why do you have that heart on?"

The tables closest to us stopped chattering and turned to stare, a shared incredulous look on their faces.  But I had no idea what was wrong.  So I cleared my throat and tried again, only louder this time.

"I'm sorry - excuse me?  Why do you have a heart on?"

The busboy stopped dead in his tracks and a bright red blush took over his cheeks.  "Um, what?"

(Oh.  My.  God.  What did I just say?!)

"No, no - oh my God.  I said a heart.  Like the heart pin on your shirt.  The heart.  Not hard.  No, no ..."  I'm crying, laughing, and trying to forget that the rest of the dining room heard something decidedly less appropriate than "heart on."  He shuffled over, about to burst into flames.

"Um, I'm wearing this pin because I made a donation from my check to the Heart Association and they gave me a pin to wear on my uniform to show what I did and okay?  That's why I have a heart on.  A heart PIN on."  The words came out of him in one steady stream, like a firehose.

"I am so sorry!!!"  I buried my face in my hands, laughing.  My mother was almost out of her chair, cackling, "You're asking him about a heart, not his manhood!  Not his manhood!"

The dining room errupted into laughter, old ladies dabbing tears from their eyes. 

The busboy shuffled off to call his therapist. 

And dinner arrived shortly thereafter, with a seven waiter escort because they wanted to see the perverted patron who accosted the busboy.  I could barely whisper a word, I was so embarrassed.

"I said HEART."  

Comments

OMG that was the funniest thing I have heard in a long time! Thanks for posting that. I am sitting here dying laughing!!

I am SO glad you shared that story. After all, laughter is good for the heart too!

Hahaha... wow... that really hit the spot on a day like today! Thanks for sharing!

OMG! Why, oh WHY couldn't I have been dining at that restaurant that day!? Too freakin' funny!

:)

Poor Kerri. My face turned red just thinking about it! :P

That was fantastic.

I have a heart on for you!!

This is why I ((heart)) you!!

I don't often post a comment here....but absolutely HAD to today! I LOVE it!!!!! So something that I would say and not realize either until too late! Thanks for sharing that story....I needed that laugh!

a kerri moment if there ever was one! LOL! thanks for the giggle today!

That just cracks me up! You made my day! That would be something my mom and sister's would do.

Yeah, yeah, you said heart, right??!!

That is the funniest thing I have ever heard!

Sure ya did!

My mom has a great story about as a teenager asking her neighbor if he had blue balls! She was baking Christmas cookies and menat the little colored ones you use for decoration. Sure ya did Mom!

O....M.....G!
Toooo funny :)

Kerri thanks for a great laugh. Even with your great retelling I wish I'd been there. :-)

LOL....hey, that new england accent gets us in trouble quite often!

ROFL....too much!

I read this yesterday, but had to come back to read it again, after telling my husband the story last night.
I'm sitting here at work cracking up at my desk!!!

A much needed laugh :)

You made me laugh out loud - something I haven't done in quite a long time. Thanks for sharing!!

I wanted to make a joke about how one of my previous clients called me once, asking for an emergency session because he was traumatized at work by a patron who asked about his erection, and how that must be an amazing coincidence, but I couldn't think of how to phrase it because it's almost 2AM and I need to get to bed.

Reminds me of the time I asked my husband if he wanted a cookie... he turned around wondering why in the world I'd be asking for a quickie while in my mothers driveway!
Yours is much better- always is when there's a public audience!

Classic!
Comedian: "I said to my wife,'how could God have made you so beautiful and yet so dumb' and without hesitation she said: "oh that's easy, he made me beautiful to attract you to me and made me dumb enough to be attracted to you!"

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