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Deflated.

Yesterday didn't go as well as I had hoped.

The nurse came in first and took my blood pressure (fine), weight (slightly higher than last time but I can deal), and my A1C.

(Yes - Joslin is finally giving their adult patients A1C results day-of!  I was abnormally excited.  "You mean I'll know in 15 minutes?  Really?"  The nurse looked at me like I was new to the planet.  But for a minute, I was ecstatic.  I hate waiting.)

While the results were being spun, my endocrinologist came into the office and she and I spent almost two hours together going over numbers, plans for improvement, and the specifics of pre-pregnancy appointments.  While we were talking, the A1C result came through.

"Okay, so you're just where you were four months ago."  

And I felt like crying.  It's overly-dramatic and pretty sad to feel so affected by this number, but it has always been the standard I judged everything against.  It was the number that defined my health. It was the only number in my diabetes world that mattered, and a result that was too high tarnished my spirit.

It spoke to my success, or failure, as a person.  

Or at least that's how it's always felt to me.  

So I felt very teary and felt totally deflated.  And my endo kept talking, moving on past this number and instead trying to isolate patterns in my blood sugars that could be contributing to this result.  We went over my January lab results, and she was very happy with my cholesterol and my heart health.

"You're exercising how often?  Five days a week?  That's great.  I wish more of my patients were into their cardio that way.  Your resting pulse is very low.  That's good."

I couldn't stop thinking about the A1C.  Even though we're not actively trying for a baby, I wanted to get the green light, at least diabetes-wise.  I want to be a mom, and I don't want diabetes being anything that makes me decide to wait.

"Yeah, but the A1C.  I mean, that's the same as last time.  I felt so sure that I was doing better."

She looked at me.  "7.5% is not where we want you. Under 7, if we can, and even closer to 6, if possible.  But it's time, isn't it?  You feel ready?"

I nodded.  A little afraid to speak because this is something I've always wanted.  To be a mom.

"Okay, so it's time to schedule the pregnancy clinic.  Let's get this in motion and we can make everything fall into place.  And I want you to meet with Doctor Boston because she's the leading high-risk maternal fetal medicine ob/gyn out there, and she'll be able to handle your type 1 diabetes, Factor V, and hypertension.  You have more than two decades of diabetes under your belt, so I know you're feeling vulnerable.  We'll schedule this for June?  Does that sound okay to you?  Between now and June, you and I will work together to make this A1C happen."

"So the three of us will be together on this appointment?  And she'll see me through my pregnancy?"

"She'll actually be delivering your baby.  She's the best.  You'll be in very good hands, Kerri."

I had this moment where I clearly pictured this moment of delivery, when I will go from Kerri to "mom" and Chris becomes "dad" and in that instant, diabetes won't count.  It will be about me, and my husband, and my baby.  I felt hopeful that maybe, with enough help, I could really do this. 

"June.  And if I'm good in June, we can actually decide if Chris and I are ready to get pregnant?"

"Some mommies, I worry about.  I worry that they won't be willing to give it the best try they have in them.  But you, I don't worry about.  We can get you there.  You aren't going to do this alone."

"Okay.  I can do better.  I really need to do better.  I'm ready." 

She printed my prescriptions.  They took photos of my retinas to send to the pregnancy clinic.  I paid my co-pay.  I asked Chris to wait for a minute while I ducked into the bathroom.

I closed the door behind me and cried.  I'm so afraid that I can't do this.  I'm so afraid to do this wrong.  I'm almost afraid to try.  I'm afraid to hope.  But I'm so sure that I can overcome these obstacles, just like other women with diabetes have done before me, and become a mom. 

Cried so hard I thought my heart would break because I think this can really happen. 

Hopeful.  Damn it.
 

Comments

Oh Kerri! You CAN make this happen. Its the longest, hardest D rode you'll travel, but you can do it!

Oh Kerri....my heart just broke for you reading this!

You CAN do this and you WILL do this because you WANT to and you DESERVE it!

You will do it and you'll have the support of all of us along the way!!!

GO TEAM SPARLING BABY!

I can happen Kerri. I know you can do this. The thought of you and Chris as parents gives me tons of warm fuzzies. I love you two and I think a child would be blessed to have you two as parents. Although uncle Darrell can be a little scary. :P

Kerri ~ You can and you will. You and Chris will have this precious baby you both want. I believe that you both have the desire and determination to work towards creating a beautiful, healthy baby...no matter what. You have lots of people who will support you! Me for instance! :)

Hi Kerri--I've never commented before, but I've been reading for a little while, I'm just a diabetic not a Mom.

I cannot wait to see your journey to becoming a Mom!

You'll get there.

yes, that is all I can say given that you've made me cry right before a training. ;)


I can imagine the emotions. It is a big deal to become pregnant. However, if your endo trusts you then you need to believe you can do it. Hurray for beginning! My first pregnancy was eighteen years ago and I had been diabetic about five years. We did not do much testing at all but everything went just fine. The other two pregnancies were also okay in spite of little support for my blood sugars. Good luck.

you can and you WILL! we're all rooting for you!

It CAN happen. I know YOU can do it. Chin up!

Your Blog, your twitter, etc - they helped me a lot when I was diagnosed T2. Thank You, and I can't wait to hear the happy news.

(In the mean time, practice, you know they say it make perfect ;) )

I never thought I would be a mum but then at age 41 it happened - and 18 months later again! I know it is a very different situation but never give up hope. Best wishes to you both and I am sure you can both do this! - well of course you need both of you:)

I'm the mom of a 7 yr old son with Type 1 (Dx at age 3) and my husband also has Type 1... I'm surrounded!! Anyway... I cried while reading this post. You'll be a great mommy and I know you'll take great care of yourself. I'm so excited for you & Chris!!

I read this feeling so sad for you...But you have all the determination you need to figure this out and fix it, and I'm sure you will and that you'll get on your way to mom-hood within the next few months.

Have you tried basal testing? It sucks, but it's the best way to tweak your levels. Waking up every couple hours in the night to test is another sucky but really useful tool. It seems weird that your A1C is in the 7's if you've only had a few really high numbers, so could it be that you (and your CGMS) are missing spikes?

One other really sucky but useful technique...I know a couple of pregnant diabetics who limited theselves to eating almost exactly the same thing every day--not just the same number of carbs but actually the same foods--because for whatever reason a carb isn't a carb isn't a carb, and your body can react differently to different foods. They learned exactly how to bolus for those foods to make sure they never spiked, and actually never had a sugar above 200, were usually between 70 and 130.

Sorry for the long post, but what I'm trying to say is that there are definitely ways to get this figured out and taken care of. It's a lot of hard work, but SO worth it (like motherhood in general, I guess.) You're going to be such a great mom!

You totally can do this! I'm at 13 weeks now with my first baby and have been Type 1 since 1985. Before I went for my pregnancy appointments my A1C was 7.1 and wouldn't budge. I got pregnant and my next A1C was 5.7!

When my endo told me 5.7 I literally threw my hands up to my mouth and gasped, like he had just put a Miss America crown on my head! I have NEVER had an A1C that low EVER. But look at me go. :) My next one was 5.8 and my OB actually told me to back off my basal rates because she was worried I was going too low. I could have hugged her right there.

You're smart, you're healthy and you can do this. Go team!

Kerri- You can do this! You brought tears to my eyes! So happy that the dr. gave you the go ahead- we'll all be here cheering you on!

You can so do it! You are going in with the right mindframe and the best people to support you. I wish you all the best!!!

YOU CAN DO THIS! You can absolutely do this! You are disciplined, smart and ready. You also know that sometimes it just takes a little bit of time to figure out why your H1c isn't exactly where you want it to be--but you WILL figure it out. You've got a lot of fans out here who have faith in you...and who are going through the same thing and will offer lots of support.

Can I ditto that I know you can do this!! This baby is so lucky to have you and Chris as parents.

I would also like to add that I am very suspect of the 'in the office' A1c results. Did they do it from a finger poke or a lab draw? I know the finger poke lab draw for me was a FULL POINT higher than the real lab draw, and I know of another diabetic who had a finger stick one, walked across the street to a lab and asked them to draw for a test and it was a half point lower. I don't want to question your test, but maybe you really were lower...

Kerri- take a deep breath :o) Everything will work out and you will be amazed at what you are capable of! I am type 1 and during my pregnancy I maintained a 5.5 A1C..normal A1C for me is in the 7's. Once you know you are responsible for another human being, suddenly everything changes. You have a strength and determination you never thought you had! It is a full time job maintaining tight control but the end is so worth it. I just wish I would have relaxed and enjoyed it more. Everything will be perfect!

You absolutely can do this Kerri. Wanting that baby and being pregnant is more motivation than you can imagine. I have had type 1 for 12 years and have an 8 month old. While my A1c has come back up over the last 8 months, i'm actually looking forward to knuckling back down to get my A1c low enough to start trying for number 2 in the next year or so. I'm sure you've heard of it already, my perhaps some of your readers have not... Make sure you check out www.diabeticmommy.com

Hi Kerri,
Your post brought tears to my eyes. With alot of work and determination (which you have) you can do it! My daughters are 17 and 13 and at that time I was still taking multiple insulin shots. My A1c was around 7. Its not always an easy road but definitely worth it - YOU CAN DO IT!! The doctors will take great care of you and the baby.

Oh, Kerri! You will be the best mom! My heart is breaking too, as I read your post. I just know this WILL happen for you and Chris. There are so many of us who are cheering you on...you give so much support to all of us...we need you to be a mom...just like we needed you to fall in love and get married. All us parents of little type 1 girls need that hope and reality that you bring! You have done sooo much in your life and you will soon have that little life in your arms too...

Oh sweetie, don't let one number make you doubt how strong you are and what you can do. You can and will have a beautiful, healthy baby. Trust me, I understand the fear of trying. Don't let it stop you like it does me - you just ignore that stupid fear and push forward!!! You can do it!

Of course you can do this! And three cheers for your medical team who will work with you and Chris. How exciting for both of you!

Totally selfish statement: I cannot wait for you guys to take on those parental roles! Our babes can be pals. See? Totally selfish... and totally awesome. ;-)

Kerri,

I think you're doing awesome. A1c was 7.8 when I first got pregnant...I was devestated. But a month later I had it down to a 6 and now in month seven I am at a 5.6. I think it is a combination of pregnancy hormones and taking care of the little one growing inside. I know that the Dr's mean well with their goals, but it's not all about the goals. So many people have healthy babies and don't follow the exact rules. Just my thoughts. Good Luck!

Hi Kerri - wishing you the best. I've read your blog practically since the beginning and I know how dedicated you are to your health. I believe in you and Chris - you will do this and it'll be great.

As so many other people before me have stated, you can do this. Your drive and motivation in becoming a mother are absolutely beautiful. I know that when it comes to those you love, you have no boundaries. You also have the love and support of some amazing people. You are not in this alone.

You and Chris will be wonderful parents, of that I have no doubt. One day your child might read your blog entries and know exactly how much love he/she had even before he/she came into the world.

With all these people you can't not do it. Have faith.

Kerri- you can. I know you can. The very fact that you are afraid says you can. You care. You will be scared the whole time, I think, I know I was. calling the doctor or the dietitian every time a number seemed off. But I'll say this: I have never had such good control as when I was pregnant. That baby in there makes you stronger than you ever knew you could be.
Good luck. Be strong.

Kerri- You will be an awesome mom, and you will sing camp songs to the little Sparling when he / she is up at night. Stay positive, be strong, take the diabetes challenges day by day. Believe.

I had an unplanned pregnancy and didn't find out until I was 7 months along that I was pregnant and then she was born at 8 months. If I can manage my diabetes during an unplanned one, it should be a breeze for you to manage it for a planned pregnancy. I have happy healthy almost 8 lb little girl who is 6 weeks old.

THIS IS SO EXCITING!!! I just started reading your blog...now I can't wait to read your journey into motherhood :)

I'm a mom of a CWD. I'm also a doula and was a L&D RN -- until I decided to stay home after baby #3. Baby bellies are one of my passions!!!

Kerri, you CAN do this and you WILL do it. I did it and I am not nearly as disciplined as you are. It's a learning process, but you are so far ahead of the curve already! Keep faith!

Kerri,
Tears in my eyes reading your post (again)....jumping into the mommy waters is exciting and scary and hard and a million other things all rolled into one. Jumping in with diabetes on your mind is a burden to be certain. But you and Chris will be FABULOUS parents and it sure sounds like your medical team couldn't be better! Your doctor is completely correct; if anyone can do it, you can! Go Team Sparling!

Kerri - You CAN do this. You WILL do this. It will be ok, all of it. I read your blog and you are full of so much hope and advice for people with Type 1. My daughter is only 6 and Type 1, but I can only hope that one day she is as healthy, smart, capable and focused as you are. You will make a beautiful mom. Don't let one number define what you want or leave you feeling so defeated. Get back on the horse that threw you is what my Mom always told me. So, you get back up, brush yourself off and tomorrow is another day. Hang in there, you have lots of support around you and a little one who is just waiting to call you Mom.

Hi Kerri, I have been reading your blogs for a while now, thank you so much for writing so elocuently. Just so you know, high (at least higher than desired for) A1Cs make me cry too, especially when I have worked sooo hard to lower that number. Don´t forget, you have lots of support and everbody is rooting for you!

I know EXACTLY how you feel about the a1c. I've been trying so hard, and even though I'd had a couple roller coaster rides, I expected something lower than my last one. Nope, still 7.6 like last time. I hope everything still goes smoothly for you in June!!! That is so exciting!

**hugs**

I couldn't read this and not say something. Sounds like you have great doctors, great support, and incredible determination and strength. Hang in there! You'll make it!!!

(And how exciting! Perhaps a Spring baby?)

Oh Kerry - your words just floored me. Hang in there - know that we are all behind you & Chris 100%. I have another friend who is currently trying to lower her A1C's down as she's 6 weeks pregnant - and it's hard - but just do your best without driving yourself too crazy.

Oh Kerri.
I just read all (I think) of the comments.
You have a great medical team, a great husband, wonderful family and friends.....and a slew of readers cheering you on!

Go for it. It is attainable. Yes you can, yes you will.

And it will be great, oh so great.

You can do it! I can tell by your blog's and tweet's you are a very determined person. You can make it happen. I'm not sure if you believe in God, if not please forgive me when I say this...
"With God all things are possible." I believe it. Sometimes we have to let go, pray and let God handle his business. Don't doubt yourself, the whole DOC know you can do it. Take care

Be Blessed
Cherise

I second everything everyone else has said. It'll be great. You'll do awesome. Try to relax and enjoy the journey. It's the most incredible journey and you'll want to be as positive as you can be while you are on it. We're here for you.

Your post made me cry...We're on the same 3-month schedule, and I also had my endo appointment today. Things didn't go as well either...my numbers are slowly climbing, my fastings are suck, and my C-peptide is a little low, so I'm supposed to start Lantus soon. You'll get there!

Kerri! You'll be a great mom!

By the way, I'm currently pregnant with my 6th child. I am a T1 (diagnosed while pregnant with my 1st 19 years ago), I also have Factor V Leiden and am on heparin shots for the pregnancy, and I have mild chronic hypertension. I saw an awesome perinatologist for the first 20 weeks, then because I'm such a "compliant" pregnant person, I was released from the peri's care and now just see my OB!

You can do it! :D

Dear Kerri,

I'm sorry that you have not able to tame this tiger completely own your own, using rudimentary tools of the early 21st century.

However, not bringing down your A1c to ideal PG levels on your own efforts is clearly not for lack of trying, right? You are battling mightily and clearly want this badly...and you will do the very best you can do with the help of the very best medical professionals in their fields.

It's really not a bad deal when you think about how it could be different if you lived in rural Arkansas or something! (My apologies to the people of the great state of Arkansas.)

With your the same best effort, the continued support of your fellow T1/2/3 peeps, and this added reinforcment on the medical team, you will succeed. Without a doubt!

JUMP

and you will find

WINGS

that you have grown

through determination

perseverance

hard work

and the

LOVE

of those around you

Dr. Boston delivered Baby L.

She is super awesome.

You will love her.

Email me anytime if you want more insight, but you'll do fine.

I am sure of it.

Hi Kerri - My experience is like Genie's. My A1c wasn't quite where I wanted it when I got pregnant. However, I am 25 weeks pregnant and things could not be going any better. All of my monthly A1c results have been You are set up perfectly for a great pregnancy - great MDs, great husband, great technology (CGM and pump, and great experience (20+ years of diabetes), so you will be fine. Good luck.

Kerri,

I can totally feel your pain here! I'm currently 15w pg and my last A1c (when we found out - surprise) was 6.9. Not great place to start but doable. The good news is that since finding out and being the vigilant diabetic that we all try to be my 30 average (per the pump) is 104!!! So, hopefully at the endo today I'll get exceptional news as to the new A1c result. I've learned that it's amazing how much effort goes into trying to be as healthy as can be and protecting not only yourself, but this little miracle that's growing inside me daily. That's not to say that there aren't the crazy random spikes (like yesterday - holy 421!!! WTH?) that piss me off, but again - they're random! Thank God.

Keep your head up, you can do anything you set your mind to. If you want this near as badly as we did - which you most definitely do - then there's no worries about your ability to reach this goal and have the family you're looking for.

hugs! moni

just wanted to say
Go Kerri

you'll be a great mom. :)

Kerri, I cannot tell you the ache in my heart that I felt reading your blog last night. I have been there so many times when I swore my a1c would be great, then I get told it's again around 7.5. I didn't even wait to leave the dr's room to cry, I did it right there in front of her because I couldn't even help it. You are trying and doing everything you're supposed to and that counts for A LOT. And the fact that your endo has confidence in you says A LOT too! I'm with everyone else here that is rooting for you and has faith that you can do it :)

You CAN and you WILL do it, Kerri! (I'm living proof!) You are so blessed to have such a wonderful support system and medical team on your side too! We are all cheering you on! Don't let diabetes steal your joy of an awesome time in life... just do your best... the rest is out of your control, so no use worrying.

From reading your blogs, we've all seen how strong you are so we know that you can do this!
It's also a selfish belief. If you can do it, maybe I can too! I'm at the same place. 32, babies on the radar, same feelings and fears. But just the same, I know it's possible!!!
You can do this :)


Go Kerri, go Chris. This is sooo hard, but the start of something so wonderful.

Oh Kerri, I wish it for you!

Becoming a mom is the BEST thing ever, and I wouldn't want any woman who wants it to miss it.

Yours,
AT

Kerri-
I was so sad reading this... I know what a struggle it can be to balance diabetes (I have been Type 1 for 20 years) and life and try to have it all. But in this day and age, you can do it! Don't get discouraged-- the medical resources are there to help you.

Two and a half years ago I was where you are today. I wanted to start trying because I figured it would take a while-- when has my body ever behaved like it should? Now, I have a healthy, happy baby girl. My world revolves around her. Check out Diabeticmommydotcom. Lots of support and advice for those even in the early stages of the process.

Wishing you and Chris the best of luck!

Thank you for this post, Kerri. I'm 24, I've had diabetes for 17 years, and I'm starting on the pump next week. And I want to be a mom someday.

Good luck with your fight! You have a very friendly section of the internet in your corner, and I'm glad to be among them. And thank you for writing. I struggle with control, so I might have some of your struggle ahead. Thank you for giving me insight into what that's going to be like. You're inspiring me to work harder!

Hi Kerri,
Thank you for this post. I'm in more of a pre-pre-conception stage myself but I can definitely relate to the emotions you expressed in this post (not only that but my last A1c was 7.6 so I know how close yet far a value under 7 can seem!). Best of luck to you.
Cheers, Laura

Aww Kerri...you can do it!!!

Kerri - I've really benefitted from your site. I'm a mother of a beautiful T1 diagnosed three years ago.

Your post brought tears to my eyes. I know you can do this and that you will be a wonderful, caring mother.

Thanks again for all you do for the diabetes community!

Blessings,
Amy Kosanovic

Kerri!! You totally can do it! I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes (had hypoglycemia before pregnancy). I'm an active, mid 20's "LADA", with a LONG family history of Diabetes. My doctors put on a super strict diet, a regimented eating, testing, journaling, and dosing schedule. I had my little guy, summer '07, and he was happy, healthy, and weighed just the right amount - no complications... minus being in the hospital for 3 days before he was born - trying to be induced. Apparently he was on his own time schedule. Then I was officially diagnosed Spring '08 - when we realized that I'm now a true T1. Anyways, needless to say - YOU CAN!! email me with any questions! Praying for you guys!

~*Lindsey*~

Dear Keri:

I am sorry that you are feeling down after your exam. Don't give up on this since I've learned so much about strength in dealing with this disease from your website. You've always given me hope, and I want to extend the same to you. You can do this and it will be wonderful.

Best…
Sid

I'm in tears, too. This is just such an emotional time. This has been my life since July 08 -- pregnancy prep. There have been many tears & moments of utter frustration as I battled the A1c from 6.7 (not good enough according to my doctor, who wants me at 5.5 -- huh?) to 6.2 now. That gave me the green light - which made me cry again - tears of joy! To achieve this I had to (kindly) DEMAND more help from the endo's office. They hooked me up with an outstanding CDE at the office who was so incredibly helpful and complimentary towards me and my efforts. I credit her with getting me here... 10w pregnant! I feel lucky to have access to a top-notch maternal fetal medicine group, too. You can do this, and I can't wait 'til you do. Uh-oh, I'm tearing up again. Thinking of you, Kerri.

Kerri - hang in there. As the mom of a preschooler with diabetes I know how much work goes into management, and I know how disappointing it is when you see an A1c that is not what you were hoping. Was it on this blog that someone mentioned Dorry, from Finding Nemo? Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming!
It's a quote I've found very helpful lately.

Kerri, you CAN do this. That is a mantra I often use myself when I'm feeling pressed. "I Can Do This".

Say it. Didn't that feel good? Empowering? Do it again - "I Can Do This".

You Can Do This.

Kerri,

I know how you feel. I'm 31--soon to be 32 and would like to have children soon, too. My twin has had 3 successfully without perfect A1C's and has had no complications, so I know it's possible, but I just had my last A1C and it was 8.0! I was so bummed. I cried later, too. I expected it to be under 7 for sure. I was working so hard on it, and was shocked it was so high--higher than last time. I'd had some highs over the recent weeks which I think influenced it, and have had less lows, but have also had many more in the right range, not so many swings, which is big. So I try not to cry over it, but still, I've been in a funk since that appointment. Anyway, I'm rootin' for you!

You're gonna be a great mom!

:) Amylia

Kerri~

Your post brought me to tears, because I've totally been there. Even though I'm no where as close to getting pregnant as you, the thoughts still go through my head all the time. I feel the failure of a "bad" A1c especially when I do everything right. And I wonder...will I be able to get pregnant? Will I make it through? Worse...will the baby? But you know what, I'm confident (outside of all those fears!) that both you and I are going to be great moms and have great pregnancies! Because we try and we make the pieces fit together, and the universe has to respect that :)

Ohh Kerri what a great feeling for the green light! You and Chris will be awesome parents. I have been there making sure it is safe to have kid number two with (misdiagnosed type 2, now it is LADA) She arrived last fall. You can do it. You will be amazed the high risk pregnancy folks know what they are doing. We will all root and support you and Chris.

You can and you will do this. I can't wait to read your tweets and posts about your pregnancy. It'll be fine. I've had the Big D for 12 years and I have a 8 year old and a 2 year old. Both happy, healthy and diabetes free.

I'm cheering for you! Good luck and many blessings!!!

Andrea B.

Kerri,

I am in tears after reading your post. I'm in the same boat. Hoping for pregnancy soon. Just got an A1c back at 7.9. Got a pep talk from my endo and trying to get things under control.

I believe that I can do this, but my fears are also very real. Thanks for sharing your story.

The only thing I have to say is that you took the words right out of my own heart and mind when you said this:

"I'm so afraid that I can't do this. I'm so afraid to do this wrong. I'm almost afraid to try. I'm afraid to hope. But I'm so sure that I can overcome these obstacles, just like other women with diabetes have done before me, and become a mom. Cried so hard I thought my heart would break because I think this can really happen."

I'm exactly there, too... I've just been too afraid to put it into words in my own blog. Thinking and believing it all is one thing...writing it down for the world to see is another!

Thank you.

I'm rooting for you, and I'm absolutely confident you'll make this happen.

Dr. R

Ok... I have to de-lurk for a moment....

Kerri.... you are going to be the best momma there is! I don't think that there is anyone out there who has as many people rooting for them as you do. :)

Kerri, you're going to travel such an amazing journey in the near future... and a beautiful, healthy baby will be there to greet you at the end.

A diabetic pregnancy is a huge challenge, but tremendously rewarding. You'll achieve blood sugar control that you'd never imagined possible, and truly marvel at how motivating it is to be nurturing your child with your hard work and love.

One tip I think helps a lot in achieving a low A1c (and forgive me if you're already doing this...) is to bolus early before meals and wait until your blood sugar is 90 mg/dl or below before eating. Also, lower carb meals and eating a lot of the same foods day after day will help a lot too.

After reading your post, I gave Sienna a big hug. You reminded me that it's a miracle that we type 1 women are able to have healthy babies, and it's something I never want to take for granted.

You and Chris will be such fun parents... what a lucky future baby Sparling! :)

Hi Kerri- Old CBC'er here. Dr T and the team at BI delivered my daughter last year. They are THE BEST. SO supportive, so knowledgeable, just the best. You can do it, and you will. Now, if those smarty pants Dr's could just figure a way of getting those healthy wonderful babies to sleep through the night, we'd all be happy! :) Best wishes, Caren

like many who have read your post, i am left in tears as well! im so happy and excited for you and totally feel your pain regarding a1c's. im always fighting back the tears until im out of the drs office, lol. you are such an inspiration...so honest about your numbers and your care, its refreshing and it helps me SO much. i always feel like im the only one out there who has trouble getting an a1c under 7. i feel like the reject diabetic even tho i try so hard. its nice to know that others have struggles too. anyway, you are amazing and can totally do this!!!

Oh Kerri, this CAN be done. I totally understand your anxiety and fears, but it can be done and you have an army of support here.

I'm sending you positive thoughts and best wishes.

I'm my dd's D manager. so sometimes I may feel like I have diabetes. I feel like I can make mypancreas secrete insulin. Its a strange feeling.
I know what you mean in teh docs office waiting on the a1c. I hate those 15 min. can't imagine waiting days. omg that that would be hard. But I know its not a measure of how good/bad a manager I am. We were at 8.1 last time so I was happy(teenager hormones)

Will we have a big virtual baby shower?
You guys can do this baby thing. I can't wait.

Kerri,
Just found your blog. As a mom of a type 1 (diagnosed 22 years ago when she was 15 months old) who found out she was pregnant 3 months ago and has since gotten her A1c to a good level (probably with help from pregnancy hormones), it helps me to read other success stories. I hope it helps you too. Best of luck to you!!! You can do this!!!

Kerri, your story brought me to tears. It also brought memories back. I have one child she is now 29. My experience was OMG I'm preganet! It was my very first experience with a glucose monitor (it was the size of the book War and Peace)This early tool glucose monitor was the best thing that happen. I am excited to here that your Endro has a clear cut plan of management before and during pregnancy. I was very lucky and stumbled on the best team. She was 8.9, girl, beautiful and it was all worth it. Anxious to hear you say "I'am Pregnant".

Thank you for this re-post. I think this is just what I needed. My husband and I have been trying to concieve for almost 3 years. We just recently did an IUI treatment and now it's just time to wait. I am terrified of my result either way. I'm scared to death to be pregnant and it's everything I want and I am terrified to keep trying. Your story and your little Bird are my daily inspiration. Thank you so much. I really hope I can do this!

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