« St. Patrick's Day and Diabetes. | Main | Knot What I Expected. »

I Had Nothing To Write About.

Low again.  F this noise.Last night I was sending off a quick email before bed, and I lingered on the Movable Type platform for SUM. 

"Hey Chris, I think I'm out of stuff to write about.  My brain - she is empty."

"It's okay.  You'll think of something tomorrow.  Now let's eat Jell-O."  (The Jell-O part is not completely relevant, but it was delicious and worth mentioning.  Red Jell-O with fat-free cool whip.)

The night progressed, and eventually we went to bed.

At 2 am, the Dexcom starting singing.  And because I am a very tuned in, dedicated diabetic (oh the lies!), I pulled it from the headboard and threw it across the room.  

"BEEEEEEEEEEEEP!" it wailed relentlessly from the corner.

About 15 minutes later, I woke up with that heavy, sandbag feeling, like all my organs were ten times their normal size and fuzzy on the edges.  I felt as though I was covered in something grainy, almost tangible, but I couldn't shake it off. 

A low. A nasty one, proving its strength by keeping me flat on the bed.  I tried to sit up but my brain was too dizzy and the sandbags were heavy.

"Hey.  I need juice.  It's a bad low."

Chris woke up immediately and grabbed a bottle of juice.  I drained it, not counting out eight sips, not caring about the carb content, just wanting the sugar back in my body and the function back to my brain.  A bit of juice started to drip from the side of the bottle and I went after it, not willing to let any bit of sugar escape my mouth.  It was a desperate and pathetic low, where I could have consumed a whole cake without thinking twice.

I lay back down against the pillow and tried to pretend the waves of unconsciousness weren't happening.

"Next time, let's not talk," I said, mumbling.

"Not talk about what?  What don't we want to talk about?  You are okay, you drank the juice, you'll come up.  I'll wait here with you."  Chris was propped up on his elbow, a hand on my shoulder while he talked.

"Let's not talk about how I have nothing to write about, okay?"  I laughed and it sounded jagged against the dark, like it wasn't actually coming from my mouth.   

"No kidding, right?"

"Yeah.  This isn't what I wanted.  I would have been happy writing about the cats or something, you know?"

The low passed.

This morning, I have dark circles under my eyes and a headache that even the strongest coffee can't cure.  My body keeps edging back towards low and I'm not sure how much to dial my basal rates back to.  I'm tired.  Of a lot of things.

I'd rather be wracking my brain, trying to think of what to write about today. 

Comments

Hi - I'm glad that the Dexcom woke you up. I saw my Endo a couple days ago and we agreed I'd try the Dexcom. Now to get it covered by insurance...

Must have been something in the air last night, I've been hovering in the low zone since dinner time yesterday. I've managed to consume, 1 king size Reese, and two jumbo apple and still remain at 74.

Isn't it wild how some lows really knock you on your ass for a day, when others you can bounce back from and be fine in 15 minutes?

Oh yeah, diabetes? It is a never ending source of blogging material. Never ending! :-)

Scary. Hugs.

Hey Kerri,
I'm sorry to hear about your bad low. Do you usually feel very crappy the morning after a bad low? I wonder why some people take longer than others to recover... I had a low of 42 sometime around 2 AM but woke up feeling normal. But I know that, for others, the effects can be felt for hours. It also makes me wonder, what makes some people much more sensitive to lows (as in, they might pass out) than others. I sometimes wonder if exercising a lot makes a difference. Anyway, your post made me ponder these questions. But, more importantly, I hope you feel better today!
-Anne

What is it with the BAD LOWS? I had one over the weekend that I just blogged about today too. I'm with you - I'd rather be forced to post silliness about our kitties than to have these bad lows to write about. Hope your headache fades and your energy comes back soon.

Those are the worst lows. The ones that give you "hangovers". :( Feel better soon.

Low lows and high highs! My son is not well and just as we had adjusted to his new insulin it all goes haywire! Arghhh. Also you have been nominated for an Honest Scrap award!- please see my blog!

I've had nights like those! Do you get migraines after lows like that often? I've had migraines, and the only thing I can point them to is super low blood sugar.

A bit off topic, but my head kind of exploded while reading this entry - I've been using the 8 sips method for years!! Can't tell you the number of warm fuzzies I got when I saw I'm not the only one...

Ugh - lows at night. Hate them. Here's hoping for a better night for you tonight.

I am glad to hear you say you are tired...I am too today. My 3 year old daughter is T1D and we have been struggling with getting her into a preschool next year that can provide the care she needs. Some days are so hard and I wish I could just take it from her and make it my disease.

Chris is such a prince! Justin usually groans, sighs, dramatically throws the covers off of himself and comes back with juice. If I'm at the "pathetic low" stage and babbling senselessly to myself to myself... he makes fun of me. One time he even said, "What's that girl? Timmy's stuck in the well?"

I need to get him reading this... I want hands on my shoulders and sweet encouraging comments!! HAHAHA!

Hi Darling,

Skip the juice, try one cup of Gatorade instead! The sugar in Gatorade works faster which means your system is less likely to go in to panic mode (and send out glucose from the liver).

I also have a timer pre-set for 15 minutes. I tell myself that I can only have that one cup of Gatorade until the timer goes off. (With the promise being that at that point, I can eat everything in the fridge if I so desire.) After waiting the 15, I always feel better and no longer want to snack. This has made my subsequent bs not go freaky high after.

(I also have designated cups that happen to have lines on them, so I already know where one cup will be.)

*Caveat: It took 20 years for me to figure this out.

One good thing for those having a Dexcom is that it is a potential lifesaver of titanic proportions, for those times when you are alone, without support of a loved one and experience a chilling and unexpected low there is nothing between you and the other life. I know only to well of the times such debilitating lows have launched themselves, you want to get to some sugar, but your body is unresponsive, you try to speak up but you can’t, you don’t know if you are dreaming or wide awake, you have got no way out, unless… and only with luck you are found in time. You realise later that it is a frightening place to be… you wish you were never on your own, perhaps unless you owned a Dexcom CGMS?

I feel like lately all I do is go low and that I am the only diabetic in the whole wide world experiencing this. Keri, I am sorry for your low, but I so appreciate the fact that you post all your lows as it makes me not feel so alone and like I don't know what the heck I am doing.

The joys of spring and diabetes. I almost hate spring for the lows it tends to bring in Ian.

You explained those lows SO well. It is a "sandbag" feeling for sure. I find that the "hangover" lows I get are only from when I get lows in the middle of the night. Those, without fail, whomp me the next day. I am so afraid of lows that sometimes I purposely have higher sugars. Which of course isn't good either. Ugh. Us diabetics will always have something to write about huh? :)

I am glad that I am not the only one who has the feeling that my organs weigh more than they should . I dont think I am ever going to get rid of this miserable cold I have and I have to force myself to eat and drink . I hate this virus that is going around . A great blog as usual .

Glad to hear I'm not the only one with the "hangover" effect after a low, especially in the night. I am in the midst of taking a break from the Omnipod and switching back to pens- Apidra and Levemir (never tried this one). Had the worst low at the grocery store yesterday. Don't ever get low at a high-end, gourmet grocery store. I ate my way through the Fresh Market- gummi worms, raspberry filled pillow cookie, granola, etc. I felt like a diabetic trapped in Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. No good.

I hope you feel better today Kerri! I can totally sympathize with those lows. It must be spring because I had a low that kicked butt and took names the other day. Felt totally out of it for the whole next day.
Go figure!
Mousie

Thanks Chris, for taking care of her! I've woken up in the night to what looked like a crime scene....blood sugar meters,glucagon kits opened, test strips, gorey unmentionables all over the bed, and a husband feeding me Smarties. It must have been interesting!
Thanks to my hubby Daryl too! You guys are tops!

My nighttime lows, when they get waaaay down, are accompanied by a recurring dream. I can't really describe it without being in it, but it involves rhythm, numbers, and features a scrolling back of the dream until I wake up and can't tell whether I'm awake or not. I have been known to involuntarily say "So that's why there's a God," or the like. The crazy thing is, I don't have to be asleep to have this dream!!!! It's like this 3rd state, not awake, not asleep, but just some alternate consciousness. Only glucose tablets will work. Waves of unconsciousness" is a good way to describe it, btw. I am drained the day after this happens (once every 15 months or so on average), but it isn't a physical drain, just more emotional as I feel like I have literally seen God.

I know this posting is 4 years old, but I am glad to find some people in the same boat.

Post a comment

(All comments are moderated. Thanks for your patience!)