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Mushy Stuff: Diabetes Edition.

A little love and diabetes never hurt anyone.  :)I love Chris. 

Not that I need to tell you guys - I think it's pretty obvious - but sometimes I lose sight of how much I appreciate him.  I don't tell him how much he means to me as often as I should.  He is a wonderful partner.  There's all the regular relationship stuff- he pumps the gas for my car so I don't have to stand in the cold, he takes out the garbage, he laughs at my stupid jokes, he reads my written messes and helps me make sense of them - but our relationship has an extra, special component that others don't.

He is the significant other of a person with diabetes.  

I don't know what it's like to fill that role.  I am the diabetic, so I only know things from my perspective.  But he makes it look so easy.  A 3 am low blood sugar that has me in tears?  He knows how to quickly give me juice and wipe the sweat from my forehead.  Weeks of working out with no visible results?  He knows what words will soothe me:  "You are healing from the inside out."  Those moments when I feel like I'm crumbling emotionally?   His hugs seem to put my pieces back together again.

And it's not just the serious stuff.  We aren't always talking about complications and fears.  He makes this diabetes stuff feel so normal.  He makes me feel like everyone is wearing multiple devices attached to their body when they climb into bed.  Disconnecting a pump before sex?  Who doesn't do that?  Attaching a new sensor becomes something we do together, with me inserting the needle and Chris wielding the hairdryer like Johan

Chris celebrates the victories with me.  When my wedding dress was perfectly fitted with a pocket to conceal my pump, he knew that was an important moment.  When my period fell perfectly into monthly step after going off the pill, we actually high-fived.  When the Dexcom shows a nice, nine-hour flatline, we do a dance.   And when my A1C dropped a full point, he knew it was a step towards success.

Even though his pancreas works properly, he lives with diabetes, too.  Just as every loving caregiver of a PWD lives with diabetes.  They don't feel the highs and lows as acutely as we do, but they have their own individual variations on these moments that are just as poignant and just as evocative.  Chris understands what this disease means and how it can unfold, but he's as committed to my health and to my life as I am.

Some would say that he loves me, and my diabetes

But I can say that he just loves me.  It's not about diabetes.  It's not like "Kerri" and "diabetes" have to be separate entities, just like "writer" and "uncoordinated" and "messy-hairdo in the morning" and "hot-tempered" remain parts of my whole.  I'm one big mess, and he loves me just as I am

This Saturday will be my first Valentine's Day as his wife

"What I really want is to celebrate a 50th anniversary with you, Chris," I said to him over the weekend.  "Do you think we'll do that?"

He knows what I mean.  Not "Will we be together," but "Will I be okay?" 

"Of course we will."  He knows this.  It's a certainty.  "You'll be 79.  I'll be 81.  And Siah will be 53." 

He's a ridiculous man and I'm lucky to have him.

(And I'll always, always write his name in the peanut butter.) 

Comments

You always give me hope that someday my "Chris" will come. :) Have a great Valentine's Day.

Great post, Kerri. I hope one day Riley is lucky enough to find someone to love him and care for him like Chris does for you.

You two are so perfect together!

It is nice to see and read how happy you are! Yay, Love!

I'm forwarding this to my husband ~ it's a great post, Kerri. We'll be enjoying our first Valentine's Day together as husband & wife, too. Enjoy!!!

Happy Mushy Diabetes Stuff on Valentine's Day!

So happy for the both of you.

I hope to find "my chris" one day too Cara. One day.

So I can be 79 with someone besides my will probably be 50 something cat too. ;-)

I also forwarded your post to my husband. If I could write as good as you, mine would say a lot of the same things! Thank you for sharing.

I love the peanut butter story. It's one of my favorites on your blog.

Happy Valentines Day!!

This is such a beautiful, beautiful posting, Kerri.

I have subscribed to your blog for a while, and always enjoy reading about you daily journey with diabetes. I have had type 1 diabetes for over 21 years, and am blessed to suffer no serious complications at this point.

It is such a blissful truth that being in a supportive relationship adds years to one's life. I am so happy that you have Chris, and that you are now assured many more years of beautiful, happy, and healthy life on this earth.

Thank you again for this truly lovely posting.

I hadn't read about the peanut butter before-what a sweet "love story" you and Chris share. Happy Valentine's Day!

Kerri, this is so sweet I think I need a couple units of insulin after reading it. :) I'm a softie at heart and love this kind of stuff. Have a fabulous Valentine's day you two.

Shane

Dammit. Where are those stupid tissues?

(Every time I open a new jar of peanut butter, I think of you. And I open lots of jars of peanut butter. Which could be construed as weird and stalkerish and creepy, but honest, it's not.)

So does this Chris of yours have a brother...?

Beautiful! I can only hope that someday my daughter finds her own "Chris"!!

Happy Valentine's day to both of you ...

I met my " Chris " and everyone should have a Chris /Gordon in their life ...Gordon in 1981 , diagnosed with type 1 at age 42 in 1983 , followed by breast cancer in 1984 , 3 months before the wedding date ( Feb 2 ...ground hog day !!) The man is hanging in there and soooo supportive , unless getting hooked by my not so nice behaviour ...and then we both get off it , so to speak ...tonight dinner out ;-)

Glad you have Chris. My husband is gone on a trip so my son asked if he should sleep in my room to keep an eye on me. :) Sweet.
I just wanted to reassure you about the pregnancy thing. I know there are lots of people blogging about it and it is complicated BUT I never tested for ketones, never lowered or even counted carbs,never had a CGM,never worried about post-postprandial BS. I DID work hard but no one told me to do more than test a few times a day. I have three healthy kids, no problems. My oldest just turned eighteen and he has no problems...I even had his blood drawn to check for possible future type one...no signs of it so far. I did take care of myself but to nowhere near the extent pregnant type 1 women do these days. You can do it is all I am saying. Take care...hope that encouraged you.

1-2-3 AWWWWWWWW. This was a sweet post (no diabetes pun intended). I love how you two are so intuned with each other.

Thank you for celebrating your relationship with us. Having a loving partner who is in there with you is wonderful for all relationships - but even more so when illness or a chronic condition is part of the mix. This is what I blog about and I hear so many stories of indifferent partners.

Happy Valentines Day to you both.

Kerri: This is the sweetest thing ever. Don't ever forget this moment - not in 25 years. At times, it will seem difficult to reach back into this moment, but you will need to, and you will gain strength from it. I wish you both the best of what's to come - even when you think it's not the best; cherish moments like this. :sob:

You helped me remember what it was like for me 22 years ago.

Nice blog Kerri. I'm a parent of a 12 year old boy Type 1..and along with all the other worries is that he will find a woman who is compassionate, funny, caring, and will help to keep diabetes where it belongs- as a separate but connected part of his life.


I am the "Chris" in our marriage. I am still struggling to learn how to support DH without pushing, encouraging without nagging, etc. But reading about you and Chris gives me hope that we will figure it out.

I hope someday Sydney finds her own "Chris"
Happy Valentines day to you two!!!
xoxo
Marla

Happy Valentine's Day :)

May it be the SWEETEST ONE ever (not in a blood sugar kind of way, either!)

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