Larry Bird, At Home.
"Larry! dude, how the hell have you been?"
"Dude, don't call me out on being MIA. You're the one who has been hiding out lately. Eating kettle corn by the fistful. Skipping the gym to have dinner with those Fairfield County Dinner ladies ..."
"Hey, wait a second. I'm not allowed to have a social life?"
"No, you can, but you need to stick with the workouts. And not just going, but like you need to mentally be there."
"What? I go! I'm there!"
"Kerri, you know what I mean. Over the last two months, you have read seven books while working out. You can't work out hard when your nose is buried in a book!"
"I'm trying to relax a little bit, too. Managing stress just as important as exercise!"
"It totally is. You don't think I got stressed out that January day in '85 against Portland, when I had to hit that baseline jumper at the buzzer? But you aren't de-stressing. I've seen you with your Blackberry while you're working out. Your BLACKBERRY? That's how you avoid stress?"
"Larry! How the hell did you see me?"
"Skylights. I climbed up on the building. But anyway, you need to tune back into those workouts, Kerri. You are going through the motions, and that's not going to help you lose those 10 pounds you've gained since the wedding."
"Five pounds, smartass. And wait, did you say you were peeping through the skylights?"
"Five. Whatever. And yeah, the skylights are comfortable. I usually bring headphones. But anyway, I want to see some serious effort from you this month. You were doing really well, and I want to see you back in better shape by the end of March, okay?"
"I can do that. Actually, we're buying an elliptical this week for the house, so now I can do you at home."
"That joke never gets old for you, does it."
"Okay, Ker. Keep it real, and don't let me see you with that frigging Blackberry on the treadmill anymore. Got it?"
"Got it. Thanks for checking in, Larry."
"No problem. Happy belated birthday!"
"Thanks! Stay off the damn skylights."