Petal By Petal.
I'm picking my priorities, petal by petal.
I'm choosing to wear this Dexcom and adhere another site to my body. I'm choosing to have the beeps ring out and scrape against the walls of my office, letting everyone know I'm out of range somehow. Sometimes the site doesn't bother me, sometimes it itches a little bit. Depending on where it is resting, either on my arm or on my lower back, I sometimes see it in the mirror and am reminded of what I'm trying to accomplish.
I'm choosing to test my blood sugars and log the results regularly these days, even though keeping a log book goes against what appears to be my internal wiring. I've always been challenged by keeping track of blood sugar numbers, even though just looking at a few days' worth of numbers really does help me isolate patterns. I'm building a binder, and it's a pain in the arse, but I'm hopeful that tighter numbers will be the result.
I'm choosing to laugh at the things that hurt me. When the infusion set hits a nerve as it goes in or when my CGM site bangs against the doorjam, I try to embrace my inner Yosemite Sam instead of letting the pain get to me. Making this choice makes me hop around like a rabid bunny sometimes, and eventually gets me giggling, but it's better than feeling angry.
I'm choosing to go to the gym after work every weeknight. I do not like the impact this has on my free time, and I don't always like the actual sweating part (oh how I hate to sweat), but I need to keep my heart healthy and my body strong ... and it helps clear my head a little bit, too. So even though this hour and a half is something I want back at times, I know this choice is worth it.
I've chosen to limit my commitments these days, because over-extending myself leads to stress patterns that make my brain melt. I'm stoked to do NaBloPoMo, but I've ducked out of doing NaNoWriMo this year. I'm working at dLife and freelancing, but I'm being careful not to plan to be in fourteen different places at once. I've decided to stay home in CT some weekends instead of making the long drive back to Rhode Island. Peace of mind goes a very long way for me, and I'm making the choice to stay a bit more stable.
Life gets busier and busier every time I blink, and I know it's not just me. Everyone seems to have a side business they're cultivating, or organizations they're volunteering for, or events they're coordinating. Life is blasting forward at a breakneck pace and we, as members of this community, have that added bonus of diabetes to manage in conjunction with everything else. I'm trying hard not to get sucked into the stressful chaos of accomplishing everything, and instead giving a go at managing life petal by petal.