Back in high school, I used to have wicked insomnia. I would lay there in bed for hours, unable to fall asleep. Then I'd get stressed out because I couldn't fall asleep, which kept me awake longer. Reading a book didn't help. Watching tv didn't help. Warm milk is gross, so I didn't even try that. And some mornings, I would fall asleep during anatomy.
But my insomnia spells were limited to my senior year of high school, and in college, I fell into a more predictable, comfortable pattern of work-class-party-sleep. I thought this insomnia crap was behind me.
Last night, though, it came back with a vengeance.
Part of what keeps me up at night is the spin-cycle of my mind. (The Internet doesn't help.) I'll start thinking about something I'm writing, or something I want to talk to coworkers about the next day, or how I forgot to call NBF back, or how I need to pick up my prescription from CVS, or the emails I keep meaning to answer ... and then I'm cycling and spinning and afraid to look in the mirror for fear of seeing smoke wisping from my ear. Add in the viewing of a few SNL political clips and checking the Election feed on Twitter, and I'm officially Sleepless in Western CT.
Chris was away on a shoot, so I was by myself in the apartment. Silent night. Holy cats splayed out everywhere,, with Siah purring from the pillow next to me, Abby on the floor underneath the window, and Prussia standing guard at the bedroom door. The sheets were crisp and clean, the bedroom was that perfect "sightly chilly with a chance of sleepy," and it was one in the morning - so I should have fallen right asleep.
Instead, I relaxed against the pillow and closed my eyes ... only to have them spring open like window shades. I could not sleep. One thirty came and went ... two o'clock ... and I was still awake. My blood sugars were solid (and holding - the Dexcom confirmed a flatline), my stomach was full (yum, lentil soup), yet my brain was wide awake and refusing to let me sleep.
Facing a sleep deficit is something that's always taken a huge toll on my body. I don't require a ton of sleep - six and a half hours is comfortable for me - but anything less than that has me dragging myself around the next day. Sleepiness doesn't seem to affect my blood sugars (woke up at 100 mg/dl this morning), but it definitely affects my overall ability to manage diabetes. Like this morning - I showered, dressed, and was making breakfast before I realized I hadn't reconnected my pump. I also went all the way out to my car and started it before realizing the Dexcom receiver was on the kitchen counter. I forgot to bolus for my snack this morning.
Being sleepy = being absentminded.
Being absentminded = dodgy diabetes control for the day.
Does a crummy night's sleep cause your day to get all mixed up? Does your diabetes suffer? Is there any way we can Zzzz ... zzzzz ....